Adele fan who had song dedicated to her at Hyde Park gig reveals she planned to take her own life after concert - until that moment

One of the tens of thousands of fans to attend Adele’s sell-out Hyde Park gigs last weekend was 21-year-old Nichole*, from London. While for every fan who was there the gig will have meant something special, for Nichole it was truly life-changing, after the superstar spotted a sign she was holding in the crowd and spoke directly to her – something she has since revealed has saved her life.

Holding up her own homemade sign that read “Adele, you’re the reason I’m alive”, Nichole knew she had caught her idol’s attention when she made a gesture towards her but she assumed that was the end of the interaction. Content that she had experienced a wonderful night, Nichole says she planned to take her own life because she felt at peace.

But, as she was about to sing a song written about her own mental health struggles, Adele spoke directly to Nichole in front of the sea of adoring fans. She ended up dedicating the song, Hold On, to Nichole, praising her for her resilience and giving her the credit for saving herself. In doing so, Nichole says it has completely changed her mindset and she has realised life is worth living.

Having been preceded by some of the most difficult months of her life in which she was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and attempted to take her own life multiple times, it was a mind-blowing experience. Speaking to MyLondon, Nichole explained: “My friend always used to tell me, ‘the world is round, and so the place that may feel like the end may also be the beginning’.

“So to me getting to the end of Adele’s concert was the end of everything, because I thought ‘I’ve survived to this point, I can finally attempt [to end my life] again peacefully’. But then her acknowledging me, it was such a special moment it made me realise that life really is worth living. I just couldn’t stop crying, it was so amazing to me.”

Nichole explained how her connection to Adele and her music began when she was just a child: “I’m actually adopted, so as a child growing up, and I know this sounds a bit weird, but I wanted a mother figure. I do have an adoptive mum but for some reason, Adele, her music was really comforting as I was growing up and I felt like I could really relate to it. So that’s where it all started.”

Her love for Adele came to take on much more meaning in the last few months though, as Nichole’s mental health spiralled: “I’ve always suffered with my mental health but in the last few months it had got really bad. I was diagnosed with BPD and I actually tried to end it multiple times and kept getting sectioned and put in mental health hospital.”

adele fan who had song dedicated to her at hyde park gig reveals she planned to take her own life after concert - until that moment
© Adele Access Official/Twitter Adele onstage at the BST Hyde Park festival in London on Friday night

As a surprise Nichole’s parents, who knew that she loved Adele, decided to try and get her tickets to one of her two Hyde Park concerts, and succeeded, booking her the Diamond VIP Experience for just under £380 at the singer’s first set of gigs in five years.

While it’s something that many parents might think to do for their child, to Nichole this was huge for a much more important reason. She explained: “I sort of used that as a reason for myself to get better, so whenever I was really upset and wanted to attempt or harm myself again I’d listen to her music as a way to calm myself down and think about how she feels these things too. She was my reason to keep going.”

On the night before the concert Nichole decided to make a sign to bring with her, to let Adele know just how much her music had helped her keep going. On the night of the show Nichole was right at the front thanks to her special ticket and had been trying to get Adele’s attention with her sign when the singer finally spotted her.

“She looked at me and held her heart then went back to singing her song. Then later on when she was about to sing Hold On, which is all about mental health, she actually spoke to me.”

Others at the gig reported the words Adele said to Nichole: “There was a girl with a sign when I was down there earlier that said ‘Adele you’re the reason I’m alive’ and baby girl, you’re the reason you’re alive; and I’m so glad that you found comfort in my music. It’s crazy how you come out with a song so many years ago and it’s still blowing my socks off with [the impact of] it. So let’s have our own little moment tonight.”

Recalling the incredibly emotional moment Nichole said: “It still just feels amazing and surreal. Life is so amazing and so beautiful and I’m really glad it happened and so glad I made it through. Especially when she said she’s not the reason I’m alive, and that I am, it made me feel so strong. Because it’s true, yes I did it to see her but I’m the one that did it, not her.”

Nichole also has a message for anyone else out there who may have felt as lost as she has in the past: “People say all the time that it really does get better but you never believe it until something actually happens to you. It’s so important to just hold on and keep going. Because one day may be really sh***y but the next day could be totally amazing and make your entire life change, and you never know what’s just around the corner. There are always people out there that understand how you’re feeling, you’re never alone.”

*Nichole’s real name has been changed at her request.

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Adele stuns fan at Hyde Park gig who had sign saying ‘you’re the reason I’m alive’ by dedicating song to her

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