Wife's Reply After Husband's Kid Suggests She's a 'Gold Digger' Praised
A stock image of a man with an empty wallet. Newsweek spoke to a marriage therapist about the viral Reddit post.
A woman in a relationship with a 14-year age difference has been supported for clarifying her husband's financial situation.
The 38-year-old turned to Reddit for support following an awkward conversation with her 52-year-old husband's daughter, Madison, 28.
The post titled: "AITA for telling my husband's kids how broke he was when we met after they insinuated I was a golddigger?" has 21,000 upvotes.
User Good-Face1725 begins by describing the family dynamic and points out that things have "always been tense" between her and her husband Rob's two kids.
"Note I am not calling them my stepkids because they explicitly told me I am not their stepmom, just their dad's wife. I didn't play a part in raising them so I'm ok with that," she wrote.
Recently, Madison got engaged and Rob told her he could contribute 10,000 (the currency is not specified).
"She has bigger hopes for her wedding than this so she was upset and kept asking for more," she wrote and explained that he wiped out his cash savings when his late wife died. "So this 10k is actually really generous from him."
She went on to explain that she was alone with the kids and Madison asked if she is going to add any more towards her wedding fund.
"I told her were a marital unit and that's what we discussed together as a reasonable amount to contribute. She then said 'I should have known, obviously you married an older man for what he had, not for what you could give.' I knew she didn't like me but this [was] the most flat-out rude thing she ever said," she wrote.
"I kinda lost it and said, 'excuse me, who do you think has been paying the second mortgage your dad took out to pay his debts?'"
The debt-free woman wrote about their finances and pointed out that she pays for 70 percent of the household bills.
"I made it clear that not only am I not a golddigger, I'm literally wealthier than my 'older husband.' She called me stuck up after this and stormed out," she wrote.
She concludes the post by stating her husband agreed with her but would have preferred if she kept his financial details private.
According to Pew Research Center, in today's marriages, 29 percent of American couples earn similar incomes, 55 percent have a husband as the main earner, and 16 percent have a wife as the primary breadwinner.
What Did the Expert Say?
Newsweek reached out to Georgina Sturmer, a U.K.-based counselor who helps women through challenges that include relationships, trauma and loss.
She said: "She has chosen to broach this topic directly with the daughter, as a way of defending herself against an unfair accusation. The reality is that blended families can bring all kinds of complex relationships, feelings and conflict.
"There's an underlying question here, which is whether the husband is aware that his wife is being portrayed in this way. Whether he notices or acknowledges that there might be frustration or resentment brewing from his daughter. And if so, what's stopping him from taking action in order to help soothe the situation. Perhaps he is unaware of what's going on, or perhaps he is choosing to bury his head in the sand, for fear of repercussions or conflict.
"Although there is an age gap between the husband and wife, that doesn't necessarily mean that this is the cause of the challenges. All relationships are different, and an age gap doesn't necessarily mean that a relationship won't flourish."
Reddit Reacts
So far, the post has received 2,300 comments since it was shared on May 22.
The top comment has 27,000 upvotes, it said: "NTA, but you have to know that you're either stuck up or a gold digger to a child (even an adult one) who has determined to make you a wicked stepmother."
Another user said: "She's a beggar trying to be choosy. She's almost 30 with her hands out for a party she wants to have. But you're the gold digger?"
"NTA. She sounds like a spoiled brat. If my parents gave me $1000 yet alone 10k for anything I'd lose my mind. The fact that her reaction was to cry and ask for more shows she actually sees your husband the way she said you see him; as a bank account. She likely said what she did out of projection," said a third comment.
Newsweek reached out to u/Good-Face1725 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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