Donald Trump should say no to Marco Rubio as veep: ‘Does a headliner tour with his own cover band?’

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — The 2024 version of “The Apprentice” is finally hurtling toward its season finale.

No, it’s not the TV show — rather, the long and winding road toward finding out who will be Donald Trump’s running mate in 2024.

Amid the oracular statements from the presumptive Republican nominee, shoe-leather reporting is offering some clarity.

Marco Rubio is one of the names on Trump’s VP shortlist. AP

And at least one option being considered?

An all “Florida Man” ticket.

Per a six-byline stemwinder from NBC News, Marco Rubio is in the mix, along with his Senate colleague J.D. Vance of Ohio and North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum.

If the reporting is true — and NBC has been on point throughout much of the veep search — then this represents a necessary winnowing of the short list that has been in play since early in what passed for a Republican primary season this cycle.

NBC’s reporting also suggests that in this field of three, Rubio has some handicaps the other candidates do not. Among them: a perceived lack of enthusiasm for the job and the thorny constitutional question created by having both members of the ticket from the same state.

Regarding Rubio’s alleged lack of enthusiasm, that’s actually debatable.

Rubio has been a staunch supporter of Trump since he ended his own presidential campaign. Getty Images

Trump is also considering J.D. Vance of Ohio and North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum. Getty Images

While the senator has offered buttoned-up answers to questions like “Will you take the job?” and “Where might you move to if it were offered to you?” he also has tried, somewhat laboriously, to present himself as a pitbull defender of Trump.

The leading example that comes to this writer’s mind: Rubio’s comments at the Trump 47 event at Mar-a-Lago this month, in which he defended the former president by clumsily and blatantly ripping off Trump’s own talking points delivered at countless rallies over the years.

“He’s made a lot of money. He has a lot of things to enjoy. He’s got a great family,” Rubio said. “Sometimes I thought, ‘Why is this guy doing this? He had a great life.’ There’s only one reason why someone like him would be in politics, with all of these hassles. . . . There’s only one reason; because he loves our country and he wants to save it from people that want to destroy it.”

Does Trump really need someone to put his own words into third person? Where’s the value added? Does a headliner tour with his own cover band?

Regarding moving, Rubio could always do that. He’s flip-flopped before, such as in 2016, when he swerved Ron DeSantis and others running to take his place in the Senate by jumping back into the race, claiming the mass shooting at Orlando’s Pulse nightclub was the reason.

But Rubio is not Dick Cheney, the man who set the precedent for such a move in 2000 as George W. Bush’s running mate. Cheney was a master operator, one of the most consequential VPs in American history. No one seriously believes Rubio could do the same.

Arguably the most fatuous case for Rubio was expressed just the other day in The New York Times. The theory: He would be singularly able to “to carve a Pennsylvania-shaped slice out of the so-called blue wall of rust belt states.”

Not sure what that’s based on. The senator’s never been proven to be a particularly adroit coalition builder.

He won with a plurality in 2010, with Kendrick Meek and independent Charlie Crist splitting the left. In 2016, he defeated the weak Patrick Murphy, who did little to win north of Orlando. And in 2022, he benefited from the Ron DeSantis wave to outmatch Val Demings, but underperformed compared to the rest of the slate.

Simply put, Trump doesn’t need Rubio. It’s Rubio, who has thirsted for the White House for a decade, who needs Trump.

The only Florida man who would be a real asset to the ticket may be Ron DeSantis, who says he doesn’t want the job as he eyes promulgating his own brand in 2028.

Burgum and Vance lack the residency issues Rubio presents, which are reason enough to stay away from the all-Florida slate. Beyond that, both present more authentic enthusiasm for Trump than Rubio does.

And both come off better.

Burgum has a cool self-assurance and unflappable nature Rubio will never learn.

Vance, though new to politics, presents like the natural heir to MAGA. And as the author of the once-ubiquitous “Hillbilly Elegy,” he clearly understands narrative.