When You Manage Your Bipolar Triggers, You Can Cut Your Symptoms in Half

Being manic and experiencing a trigger are two different things. So learning to avoid what sets you off is essential for managing your bipolar disorder.

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Understanding the Importance of Bipolar Triggers

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 31, I was completely unaware of the triggers that caused my mood swings. I blindly walked into situations and never thought, “Gee! This might make me sick!”

It’s amazing to me that no one at the time taught me about triggers and how they could significantly increase bipolar disorder symptoms. Certainly, if they had, I would have found my stability much sooner. Other than medications, trigger recognition and avoidance is now my No. 1 management tool.

Triggers Versus Symptoms

What is a trigger? I’d define it as anything outside of bipolar that causes mood swings. In my experience, triggers are not the result of bipolar disorder mood swings — they are the cause.

When I get manic, I may stay up all night drinking and singing karaoke — my behavior is therefore a direct result of bipolar. I used to get caught up in this; for days, I’d think, “Oh no! I’m manic!” My option here was to prevent the mania that caused the behavior.

A trigger is different. Here’s an example of how an outside trigger can cause significant mood swings. Several years ago, I began a friendship with a brilliant woman who shared my career of writing books. We began a joint project, but she became aggressive and very dismissive of my work. I’d never been around a verbally abusive person, so I talked to her about it and she apologized.

Then she did it in public; she actually slammed her fist on the table, she was so angry. I left and began crying in my car; within an hour, I went into a downswing and had suicidal thoughts. I finally left the relationship for good. By removing myself from the situation, the mood swings completely went away. Her loss!

RELATED: How I Recognize and Avoid My Bipolar’s Physical Triggers

It took me way too long to recognize my two main triggers: dating and too much work. It’s like being allergic to sunlight and water as far as I’m concerned — what’s life if you can’t find a partner, or do something professionally that you really love? It makes me sad even to write this.

Here’s another illustration: A friend of mine did so well at work, he was promoted to manager. Within two months, however, he was seriously manic, even though his last manic episode had occurred 13 years earlier. For this friend, the trigger was an exciting promotion. In my case, as soon as I get a book deal, I become ecstatic, then depressed — simply from the pressure of my success.

Many times, I’ve called my friends and said, “I just got a great offer for a book! Let’s celebrate before I get sick.” It’s not fair, but it’s the reality of bipolar disorder.

Learning to Control Your Triggers

Before all this gets too depressing, I want to give you the great news: When I learned to manage my triggers, I cut my bipolar symptoms by at least 50 percent — trigger management helps that much! This is because triggers are external, which means I can control many of them.

RELATED: 6 Ideas for Tackling Your Bipolar Mood Triggers

My main problem is dealing with the sadness and frustration that accompany giving up certain things I enjoy. Deciding what you can, and cannot, handle is very difficult indeed.

Eventually, after years of struggling with what I wanted to do — versus what I could actually handle — I had to answer a serious question: What is more important to me, stability — or having fun and taking risks?

For many years, I tried to make a deal with the devil on these choices: “I’ll just do it a little — it won’t make me sick this time. I can date and stay out until 2 a.m. … I’ll just sleep more the next day. My friends do it.”

But I’m not my friends. I have a serious mental health condition that has to be managed 24 hours a day — if I wish to remain stable. Weeks of depression and psychosis, occasioned by a thoughtless decision, are too serious to play around with. Because of this reality, I now choose stability over “fun.”

I once asked my mom what she considered my main triggers. She considered the question for quite a while, then replied, “Anything that messes up your schedule.” Well, that’s just great — that includes about everything! She’s right, though.

Mood Charts for Trigger Management

I now have a trigger management tool in place to keep me as stable as possible. Each night, I chart my moods — I’ve done this for many years. I draw a line down a page in my journal: The top of the line is mania; below the line is depression. An “X” means anxiety, a “P” is psychosis, and an up-and-down line represents rapid-cycling.

Beneath each day, I write a few things that happened. This way, I can carefully chart the path of my mood swings, as they relate to the events in my day.

For example, I can have a pretty ordinary day and then I go way, way down because of an argument with my brother. This means I write, “Fight with Ed” on the line that represents a downswing. After doing this for a few years, I was absolutely amazed at what consistently triggered my bipolar and how I just kept doing those things anyway — I really was in denial.

I once dated a man who had a lot of “issues.” I loved him, but he triggered so many mood swings that my chart often looked like an EKG. I used to think I was the problem … until I really looked at how much I was affected by his behavior. When I left the relationship, the mood swings stopped completely. Later, if I saw him or he upset me on the phone, I once again began the freefall into depression.

I can also see how much I’m affected by holidays, like Christmas. I also know that saying “yes” to too much work can trigger agitated mania. And worries about my brother can make me suicidal. (Yes, troublesome relationships affect me that seriously.)

Becoming More Self-Aware in Terms of Triggers

Without my mood chart, I’m not sure that I would be so aware of what makes me unwell. I sometimes feel like a monk, but the trigger management is working. I am able to enjoy my life in many ways. The more stable I become, the more I can handle certain triggers in small doses.

For instance, I can travel again! I’m also able to speak in public and work a lot more than was previously the case. This comes from avoiding other triggers, such as dating, and agreeing to projects simply because they may stroke my ego or sound exciting.

In fact, sometimes you can trade one trigger for another and minimize the damage. For example:

• To get sleep without medications, I now say goodnight to friends at 11 p.m.
• I ask people to help me carefully monitor my choices.
• I’m far more resilient and surround myself with “consistent” people, ones who don’t upset my schedule.
• And, no matter how hard it is, I walk away from situations that make me sick.

It’s been many years since my diagnosis. Avoiding the triggers that cause mood swings has saved my life. I’m so thankful I figured it out.

Questions to Ask Yourself About Potential Triggers

If you are trying to figure out your own triggers, here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Are there signs that I’m not feeling well due to a current situation?
• Am I letting excitement get in the way of reality?
• Am I really seeing the whole picture?
• Are people telling me to “be careful”?
• Is the person or situation I’m attracted to causing mood swings?
• Am I walking into a situation that has made me sick in the past?

Answering these questions can help you detect even the smallest of triggers. Then you can answer the main question: What is more important, continuing behavior that triggers mood swings? Or savoring lovely, wonderful stability?

UPDATED: Printed as “Fast Talk: Manage Your Triggers, Cut Your Symptoms,” Fall 2008