Why getting too attached early on in a relationship is a bad idea

Why getting too attached early on in a relationship is a bad idea

Do you often find yourself getting attached to someone early on in a relationship? While you might feel that the sparks and chemistry are there between you two, and you think you have met ‘the one’ in your life. But getting overly attached to someone you have just started dating is not a good idea as a few weeks later you feel disappointed and might even break up. Many people often go through this phase, and then hop from one relationship to the other– which only leads to disappointment and in some cases low self-esteem.

But what causes them to behave this way? To understand this, one needs to first understand their attachment style in relationships which generally develops in individuals very early-on in life and it depends on their interactions with their primary caregivers (mostly parents). As per psychology, these attachment styles influence how people behave in their adult romantic relationships.

The four main attachment styles are namely:

1. Secure Attachment: People with this attachment style are secure in themselves. They have a positive self-image and of their partners. They feel comfortable with themselves and in intimate relationships with their partners.

2. Anxious Attachment: Such people are often anxious in love and they fear being rejected or abandoned by their partner. This leads to them being insecure in their relationships, thus seeking external validation from their partner or being overly dependent on them.

3. Avoidant Attachment: Individuals with this attachment style often prioritise their independence and self-reliance over their partner. They avoid intimate or close relationships as they fear being vulnerable to others in a relationship.

4. Disorganized Attachment: People with this attachment style often experience conflicting desires for both closeness and independence when in a relationship. They are both anxious and avoidant in the relationship with their partner, depending on the situation. They may struggle with trust issues and face difficulty having stable and secure relationships.

How can knowing your attachment style help you?

Understanding one’s attachment style in relationships is the primary step to understand why one tends to get into certain relationship patterns in life. The idea is to become secure with themselves, to thus attract secure partners and relationships. One needs to understand that instead of trying to find love and solace in a partner, one needs to be comfortable with themselves. This would prevent them from chasing others or trying to please potential partners. Instead, when it comes to dating and getting to know a potential partner, it is always safe to just be yourself, take time to know the other person and then decide if they can be a suitable partner depending on your compatibility with them.

Apart from understanding oneself better, one also needs to practice self-love and mindfulness in their everyday life in order to be more attuned to their emotions and needs. This will help them be more aware of themselves and what they would want out of a relationship.

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