Are live-in relationships good for mental health? 5 pros and cons explained

As more people choose to live in together before or instead of marrying, it is important to explore both stated perspectives.

“If you’re in a relationship, I strongly recommend that you live together before getting married! This is the same advice I’ve always given my sons, both of whom have had, or are in, a live-in relationship. It just seems logical to me that before two people get their families and the government involved in their equation, they first put their relationship to the ultimate test. It’s easy to be the best version of yourself for a few hours a day. But can you share a bathroom? Weather the storm of a bad mood? Agree on what to eat for dinner every night? Keep the fire alive in the bedroom? Work through the million tiny conflicts that inevitably arise between two people in close proximity? In short – are you actually compatible?” I’m aware that Indian society is a little uptight about ‘living in sin’ but then again, society is uptight about so many things! the actor wrote.

Impact of live-in-relationships on mental health

As more people choose to live together before or instead of marrying, it is important to explore both stated perspectives. The psychological ramifications of this arrangement are worth careful consideration. While live-in partnerships have certain advantages, they also pose potential obstacles to mental health.

“Like any other important life decision, pursuing a live-in relationship should be undertaken with caution and open conversation between partners. Ultimately, the impact of live-in relationships on mental health varies greatly, impacted by personal beliefs, cultural backgrounds, and the distinct dynamics of each relationship. Couples can negotiate this arrangement wisely by encouraging open communication, having clear expectations, and stressing self-awareness,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing.

Dr Chandni in an interview with HT Digital shares five key pros and cons of a live-in relationship:

Pros

1. Emotional security: Living together can develop feelings of emotional security and camaraderie, both of which are important for mental health. The regular presence of a companion can foster a supportive environment.

2. Shared responsibilities: Cohabitation provides for an appropriate distribution of domestic tasks and financial commitments, which reduces stress and promotes a healthy lifestyle.

3. Deeper understanding: Living together allows you to better understand and adjust to your partner’s quirks, habits, and eccentricities. This intimate knowledge can help with emotional maturity and personal growth.

4. Easier transition into long-term commitment: For people who are unsure about the permanence of marriage, live-in relationships can be a useful intermediate step. Cohabitation allows partners to enjoy many of the benefits of a long-term committed relationship without the perceived commitment of marriage.

5. Flexibility and freedom: Unlike traditional marriage, live-in relationships provide a sense of flexibility and freedom that some people find mentally liberating. Without the legal and societal pressures that come with matrimony, partners may feel more autonomous and in control of their lives.

Cons

1. Boundary-blur: The lack of a legal or societal framework can lead to uncertainty about commitment levels, future expectations, and personal limits. This ambiguity can lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and communication breakdowns.

2. External pressures: Despite societal changes, live-in relationships may still be stigmatised or rejected by particular social groups or ethnic backgrounds. Navigating these external influences can be mentally exhausting for some people.

3. Commitment concerns: While cohabitation can provide an indication of long-term compatibility, it can also delay the decision-making process for commitment. The lack of a written, legally enforceable agreement may lead to persistent questions or uncertainty.

4. Financial entanglement: Sharing finances and assets without the legal protections of marriage might result in problematic situations in the event of a split.

5. Lack of societal recognition: Live-in partners may struggle to get certain legal rights, perks, or societal acknowledgement that married couples have. The lack of formal appreciation might lead to emotions of invalidation.

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