Stop Jumping on Father's Day to Shine, Kenyan Woman Tells Single Mothers
- Sonnie Kinuthia was dumbfounded when she had a discussion with her teenage son and daughter regarding her role
- The single mother learned that her children are unhappy with how she tries so hard to be both mum and dad
- The confession made her realise she has been overdoing things, overcompensating, and overproviding
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KENYA: Sonnie Kinuthia shared a heartfelt post revealing a poignant conversation she had with her children about her role in the family.
Kenyan Woman Tells Single Mothers to Stop Seeking Recognition on Father's Day: "Remain a Mum" Source: Facebook
It all began when she asked the little ones to tell her anything that she did or said that made them unhappy.
What was Sonnie's son's confession?
Sonnie's first shock came when her 17-year-old son disclosed that he felt uncomfortable being called the man of the house.
Unbeknownst to her, the affirming words she called the teen whenever he helped fix stuff around the house were burdening.
"He is not the man of the house; he is a son in the house; that doesn't mean he doesn't fix things; he does a lot, but as a son," she started.
It dawned on her that children should not be burdened in any way, and no parental expectation should be laid on them, consciously or unconsciously.
Why is Sonnie's daughter unhappy?
As if she was not shocked enough, Sonnie's daughter left her thinking when she asked her to stop trying to be a mum and dad.
The 13-year-old clarified that she preferred if her mother stuck to the motherhood role instead of playing father.
"You try so hard to be both, just be mum," the youngster said with finality, leaving the single mother teary.
Sonnie says she gathered the daughter was dissuading her against overdoing things, overcompensating, and overproviding.
What lessons did Sonnie pick from the discussion?
The young girl was expressing her fear of her mother burning out and what that would mean to her.
From her sentiments, she feared her mum losing her feminity by being entangled in perfecting roles.
"She assured me that she understood I was one and that she had no extra demands. She was telling me that we could all be ourselves and be okay," said Sonnie.
The single mother reassured her kids that she was not playing dad or mum but was just being a parent doing her roles with pleasure.
What single mothers ought to do
Children raised by single parents can thrive with the support of mentors and a strong community.
It's crucial to avoid diminishing the role of fathers or husbands, even in single-parent households.
Instead, focus on being the best parent you can be and seek support when needed.
"Happy Father's Day" is not for single mums. Mothers are mothers, and fathers are fathers. No mother will ever be a father," she underpinned.
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