First he hooked up with a 104-year-old 'lover' and begged to stay in Australia... but then she died. You won't believe what this 48-year-old Estonian is now saying to remain Down Under

Elfriede Riit, 104, was in relationship with Mart Soeson, 48 Mr Soeson sought a partner visa based on that relationship READ MORE: Are huge age gaps the secret to a happy relationship? Study finds couples with decades between them are MORE 'satisfied' romantically 

EXCLUSIVE

A 48-year-old Estonian lawyer is still fighting to stay in Australia based on his de facto relationship with a 104-year-old woman, weeks after she died in a nursing home.

Mart Soeson says he would still be with Elfriede Riit if she had not succumbed to a deadly infection last month and wants to remain living in Sydney so he can visit her grave.

Ms Riit, who was also Estonian and fled Europe after World War II, had previously been married to Mr Soeson's grandfather.

Mr Soeson was beside Ms Riit on April 13 when she peacefully crossed her hands on her chest and said her final farewell to her partner of more than a decade.

'We were together to the end,' Mr Soeson told Daily Mail Australia on Friday.

Mr Soeson was speaking before he resumed explaining why he should be granted a permanent residency visa at a hearing before the Administrative Appeals Tribunal.

A 48-year-old Estonian lawyer is still fighting to stay in Australia based on his de facto relationship with a 104-year-old woman, even though she recently died. Mart Soeson (right) and Elfriede Riit (left) lived together until she moved into a nursing home

A 48-year-old Estonian lawyer is still fighting to stay in Australia based on his de facto relationship with a 104-year-old woman, even though she recently died. Mart Soeson (right) and Elfriede Riit (left) lived together until she moved into a nursing home

The Department of Home Affairs rejected Mr Soeson's visa application in December 2018 due to concerns his romantic commitment to Ms Riit was not genuine.

Ms Riit's death represents another obstacle in Mr Soeson's bid to not be returned to his homeland.

The tribunal's presiding member David Barker addressed Mr Soeson's recent personal loss in his opening remarks before hearing more evidence on Friday.

'I note the passing of Ms Riit and I express the tribunal's condolences regarding that,' Mr Barker told Mr Soeson.

Mr Barker then explained Mr Soeson could still seek a partner visa under provisions in the relevant legislation which covered an applicant's 'sponsor' dying.

For the visa refusal to be overturned, the tribunal would need to be satisfied Mr Soeson's de facto relationship with Ms Riit would have continued if she were still alive.

Mr Soeson would also need to show he had developed close business, cultural or personal ties while in Australia.

'If she wouldn't die our relationship would be continuing,' Mr Soeson told Mr Barker.

'And if she would live I would be together with her as well.'

Mart Soeson says he would still be with Elfriede Riit if she had not succumbed to an infection last month and wants to remain living in Sydney so he can visit her grave

Mart Soeson says he would still be with Elfriede Riit if she had not succumbed to an infection last month and wants to remain living in Sydney so he can visit her grave

Mr Soeson, who works as a painter, said he had close links to Sydney's Estonian community and had adopted local customs such as observing Anzac Day.

'I have a job here,' he said. 'My home is here. I gave up my meaningful life in Estonia with my career and family ties to be with Elfriede in Australia.'

Mr Soeson said there were plenty of reasons he should not be sent back to Estonia.

'I have friends here,' he said. 'I have my partner. Elfriede is dead now and she's here. My grandfather as well is here, buried here.'

'I have my reasons to be here. I have my reasons to visit my close ones in cemetery as well.'

At an earlier hearing before the tribunal in February, Mr Soeson was grilled for three hours about the nature of his union with Ms Riit and what they meant to each.

He admitted the pair did not share a bedroom and had never had sex but insisted their half-century age difference was irrelevant.

Mr Soeson met Ms Riit in early 1996 when he came to Australia to study advanced English and she invited him to stay in her home at Bankstown.

Ms Riit, who like Mr Soeson was born in Estonia, fled Europe after World War II and had previously been married to Mr Soeson's grandfather

Ms Riit, who like Mr Soeson was born in Estonia, fled Europe after World War II and had previously been married to Mr Soeson's grandfather

Ms Riit knew of Mr Soeson as the grandson of her late husband Alfred - she had been his second wife - who, like her, left Estonia when it was annexed by the USSR.

It was not love at first sight and 'nothing happened overnight', according to Mr Soeson,

He eventually returned to Estonia but repeatedly came back to Australia in the following years to see Ms Riit and their bond grew gradually.

Mr Soeson said what would become an 'exclusive committed long-term' relationship with Ms Riit first became romantic in January 2013 when she was 92 and he was 37.

'What started out as a wholesome bond I had with my late grandfather's widow slowly but surely turned into a very meaningful and loving relationship,' he told Daily Mail Australia.

'Every urge I tried to fight regarding our future did not mean anything when I truly thought about how happy she made me.'

Mr Soeson said he entered a de facto relationship with Ms Riit in September 2018 when he was 43 and she was 98.

The couple lived together at Ms Riit's home until she was forced to move into an aged care facility on doctor's orders in September 2022.

Mr Soeson said he and Ms Riit had not shared a bedroom or ever had sex but insisted their half-century age difference was irrelevant

Mr Soeson said he and Ms Riit had not shared a bedroom or ever had sex but insisted their half-century age difference was irrelevant

Mr Soeson would regularly visited the nursing home where he brought his lover her favourite foods including chocolate and berries.

They attended concerts and chapel services, watched television together and went out to have coffee with friends and to visit medical specialists.

At the tribunal, Mr Barker said Home Affairs had not been satisfied Mr Soeson and Ms Riit were in a legitimate de facto relationship.

Read More

EXCLUSIVE

Lawyer, 48, whose girlfriend is about to turn 104, says it's 'very personal' to ask if the couple has sex

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One of the problems with Mr Soeson's visa application was that he had sometimes referred to himself as Ms Riit's grandson when dealing with government agencies.

Mr Barker observed that sex was an important part of most couple's lives and asked Mr Soeson if he and Ms Riit had ever discussed not being physically intimate.

'We didn't talk about it,' he said. 'We never thought about this, to be in sexual relationship.'

The couple had not shared a bedroom because Ms Riit's snoring disturbed Mr Soeson.

Ms Riit would also wake screaming from nightmares about World War II and the brutal Soviet occupation of Estonia.

Mr Barker said when Ms Riit attended the tribunal in January she 'did not appear oriented in time or place' and was 'quite distressed' by her surroundings.

Friday's hearing concluded with Mr Barker telling Mr Soeson he would make a decision in coming weeks about his visa application.

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