When Switzerland were the sleek Ferrari and Italy a Fiat Panda

The Swiss players celebrate after their 2-0 victory over Italy on Saturday.

After the 2-0 defeat, one Swiss journalist at the post-match presser asked Italy’s combustible manager Luciano Spalletti whether Switzerland were now the Ferrari and his team a Fiat Panda.

“You have to accept everything,” said Spalletti. “Even rather tasteless allusions like yours – you’re clearly a wonderful exponent of sarcasm.”

Fiat Panda would be being kind. A garbage truck would be more appropriate.

For anyone who didn’t watch this, 2-0 flattered Italy. They were bad, with no ability to string passes, no midfield creativity and poor defending, with only goalkeeper Gianluigi Donnarumma looking the part.

So lifeless that former England striker Gary Lineker said on BBC: “I don’t think I’ve witnessed, in my lifetime, a worse Italian team than this.”

The feeble Azzurri were outplayed and out-thought by a sparkling Swiss side on a roll.

Spalletti and Fiat Panda

Luciano Spalletti bursts out laughing after being given his steering wheel back by Napoli ultras. (Facebook pic)

The 65-year-old weaved magic at Napoli last season to grab the club’s first Scudetto since the Diego Maradona-inspired triumph of 1990.

But five months into his term in Naples, disgruntled Napoli ultras stole the steering wheel from Spalletti’s Fiat Panda and declared they would only return it if he left the club.

The Napoli ultras eventually returned the steering wheel and CDs they had stolen from his car after he guided them to a first title in 33 years.

Italian fans were sporting Maradona jerseys in the stands yesterday and Spalletti was on the bench, but there was none of the profound, attacking football that made Napoli a joy to watch last season.

Azzurri choke on Swiss roll

Switzerland’s Remo Freuler leaps over Italy’s Gianluca Mancini as he scores during their Euro 2024 match. (AP pic)

At the ground where they won their fourth World Cup, beating France on penalties, Italy’s defence of their European crown came to a timid and bitter end.

Marcello Lippi’s team gained immortality in Berlin 18 years ago; Spalletti’s boys got only shame.

Spalletti bemoaned he only had 10 games before the tournament to whip into shape a side that failed to qualify for the World Cup in Qatar, being in Germany only as runners-up to England in qualifying.

In their four matches, they reminded many of the current stale England who they beat three years ago in a shootout at Wembley to lift a third European championship title.

The Wembley conquest featured manager Roberto Mancini, who is now in Saudi Arabia, Marco Verratti in Qatar, Lorenzo Insigne in Canada, Giorgio Chiellini and Leonardo Bonucci have retired, while Jorginho was yesterday left on the bench.

Of those who started in the defeat of England, only Donnarumma, defender Giovanni di Lorenzo, midfielder Nicolo Barella and forward Federico Chiesa made Spalletti’s starting XI.

There is talent in this squad but they lack character. Glaringly missing is the dexterity of Andrea Pirlo, the cunning of Marco Materazzi and the grizzly intellect of Bonucci and Chiellini.

Switzerland had more ambition and more urgency than Italy. Fresh from coming within a whisker of beating Germany in the group stage, Murat Yakin’s side ruled brilliantly.

They exhibited quality touches to produce two terrific goals from Remo Freuler and Ruben Vargas.

Granit Xhaka’s finest season in his career continued. He has yet to lose a match in Germany since joining Bayer Leverkusen and, as Spalletti dropped Jorginho, the Swiss captain ran the midfield.

Italy have embodied defensive hardiness in the past but the excellence at the back belonged to Manuel Akanji and Ricardo Rodriguez.

Switzerland have often been eclipsed by their various neighbours but a first win over Italy in three decades was a sequel to eliminating France in Euro 2020.

With England or Slovakia next on Saturday, July 6, the Swiss may not be finished yet.

Many can’t see England beating Switzerland. Actually, they can’t see England beating anyone.

Switzerland and Austria look dangerous on England’s side of the draw. Could we have another Denmark ’92 or Greece ‘04 outcome on our hands?