'Marriage never appealed to me – but realisation led me to wed 60 people'
An Australian photographer has revealed why she decided to marry sixty of her friends in a three-day ceremony near Brisbane last month.
Carly Sare, who hails from South Australia, exchanged vows, rituals, dances and blessings with the 60 'loves of her life' in a vibrant celebration of platonic love.
She said: "As a wedding photographer, I spend my life at weddings, and I've noticed that in a culture that is rather barren for rituals, weddings are a place where they abound.
"We know how to show up for weddings. We travel, take time off work and dress up. When you gather a bunch of people, and look at something with a shared intention, something powerful happens. Some kind of alchemy (beyond the legal binding bit) occurs, that galvanises things and changes their colour in the most beautiful way.
Carly Sare at her wedding to 60 of her friends
"I used to have some icks around marriage. When the marriage equality laws came through those icks got quieter, and I realised; I'm not against marriage, I just felt funny about the way we prioritise some loves over others. We still seem to prioritise romantic-monogamous love above other loves.
"And yet, for me, many of the greatest loves of my life, my great partnerships, have turned out to be my dear friends."
Carly, 40, decided to express her profound commitment and respect for these 'deep, enduring loves' by publicly acknowledging their importance and her intention to continue loving them 'on purpose' through the seasons, distance, and decades of her life. She did this with a formal ceremony on North Stradbroke Island, Minjerribah, her favourite place.
Carly Sare's bride and grooms at her wedding
The festivities included many traditional wedding elements such as vows, toasts, speeches, a long table feast, a ceremony, an officiant, official photos, and dancing into the early hours. However, Carly ditched the white dress and asked her 'brooms' to stick to a 'colourful, fabulous, abundant' dress code.
During the ceremony, they stood in a 'circle of togetherness', deviating from the conventional 'top-down' wedding structure.
The group held hands and pledged vows to each other, including: 'I feel safe when you are around, I feel joy when you are around. I have room for us to make mistakes, and I have room for us to repair'. (These vows were enhanced with three official blessings written and read out by friends.
Carly Sare's bride and grooms at her wedding
The standard celebrant script was modified, with Carly and her 'brooms' reciting: 'Marriage, according to the law of the universe, is the union between an ecosystem of people with the inclusion of suitable others, voluntarily entered into for life. ' Before the final ritual, instead of rings, two 'bead-bearers' circulated the circle offering beads from a bowl.
These were inducted, strung into a necklace and ceremoniously placed around Carly's neck in acceptance of their shared commitments.
Carly, who lives in Gadigal Land (the indigenous name for Sydney), shares: "The ceremony was stunning, heart-wrenching, playful, colourful and fun. It was absolute heaven and marrying my friends was the best decision of my life.
"I now feel more full and grounded than I've ever felt in my life. Blissful, open, abundant, secure, expansive, and more available to the world and to life than ever before. I felt safe and free all at once. Like we alchemised something magical."
Carly has taken to Instagram on her her @carlitasariphoto page too to talk about the wedding and share pictures and videos of the ceremony. She told her followers: "Marry your Friends. Love your Lovers."
Such is the transformative power of the ceremony that Carly has opted to extend her photography services to help others design similar events, which she says will 'galvanise and celebrate all the forms of love and partnership we experience in our lives'.