How being kind and helping others benefit your health and happiness, as a volunteer and psychologist explain

For Janet Middlemiss, helping people is part of living well and healthily.

The British public relations and events specialist, and founder of Hong Kong social enterprise the JEM Group, has been pitching in with community work for two decades, doing her part to help groups and individuals who tend to be marginalised or “forgotten” by society, such as the vulnerable and disadvantaged.

“I find volunteering to be an extremely rewarding experience that grants me the opportunity to strengthen my ties with the community and, in turn, gives me a sense of belonging, purpose and identity,” says the 52-year-old, who has called Hong Kong home for 28 years.

“There are natural feelings of happiness, well-being and satisfaction that come from helping other people. Volunteering has also been a great way to get involved with causes I care about, learn new skills and create better work-life balance.

“Being of assistance to someone takes my mind off my own daily worries, helps lift my mood and reduces stress.”

Since 2021, Middlemiss has been volunteering for the non-profit HandsOn Hong Kong (HOHK) in a range of capacities, including reading to children from underprivileged families, delivering food and other essentials to the homeless, making up food parcel donations for Hong Kong residents in need, and caring for animals at a pet shelter.

And for the last 18 years, she has volunteered once a week for Mother’s Choice, helping care for children with special needs.

Lately, she has become involved in overseas volunteering. She spent several weeks in Ghana helping in schools and orphanages, and is planning a trip to Nepal to assist with an earthquake relief project.

Middlemiss recently travelled to Ghana to volunteer at schools and orphanages there. Photo: Janet Middlemiss

Middlemiss describes volunteering as an act of kindness to oneself, adding that knowing she is making a difference – even in small ways – is “truly fulfilling”.

“For me, the rewards come not from necessarily seeing the results, but from being in the moment. For example, it’s the positive feeling you get from the squeeze of a hand from a child with disabilities, a smile from an elderly person who’s not had anyone to talk to all day, and the trust of an animal that is generally distrustful of people,” she says.

“I think everyone wants their life to have meaning and to know that what we do counts. In this sense, being of service to others is a way of making our own lives meaningful.

“Volunteering has given me a better understanding of life and I now look at things from a different perspective. I’ve learnt the gratification that comes from helping others less fortunate matters much more than money or possessions. In this way, it keeps me humble and reminds me of what’s important.”

Middlemiss volunteers at the Paws United Charity Dog Adoption Centre in Repulse Bay. Photo: Xiaomei Chen

Many studies have shown the health benefits of showing kindness to others. For example, it is well-documented that spreading kindness may help reduce stress, strengthen our sense of identity, increase self-esteem, and improve feelings of optimism and confidence.

It may also lower our risk of certain illnesses and help us get some medical conditions under control.

In the United States, researchers at the University of Ohio revealed that performing acts of kindness may help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety in people with elevated symptoms of these conditions. Results from the study were published in the Journal of Positive Psychology in December 2022.

In another study published in December 2019, research from Peking University in Beijing, China found that giving to others – in the form of monetary donations – seems to lessen physical pain.

A kind heart is also a healthy heart. In his 2017 book The Five Side Effects of Kindness, Dr David Hamilton – an author who has a PhD in organic chemistry – explains how being kind may safeguard our heart health.

This is because acts of kindness create emotional warmth, which releases a hormone called oxytocin. Also known as the love hormone or the bonding hormone, oxytocin in high levels is associated with lower blood pressure and heart rate.

We each have the opportunity to make or break someone’s day with one smile, hug or thoughtful gesture

Janet Middlemiss

And in 2018, a study in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology suggested that people who have psychological wellbeing, of which practising kindness is a measure, have a lower likelihood of developing cardiovascular disease.

According to the researchers, this may be because kindness helps bring about a positive attitude, which in turn encourages good health habits, improves metabolic health and protects against the effects of stress, all of which help protect our heart.

Volunteering and doing charity work are great ways to show kindness and compassion towards others, but there are other ways to get an immediate mental health boost every day, says Dr Joyce Chao, a Hong Kong-based clinical psychologist.

Clinical psychologist Dr Joyce Chao says simple gestures of kindness can help one feel better about the world around them.

It could be as easy as holding the door open for the person behind you, smiling at a passer-by on the street, greeting the people you see daily, such as security guards, bus drivers and storekeepers, listening to a friend in distress who needs someone to talk to, or even complimenting a stranger.

“Being kind involves making a connection with others, with the intent of helping, sharing and caring,” Chao adds.

“Such simple gestures can go a long way towards helping you optimise your mental wellbeing and feel better about the world around you.”

Being kind involves making a connection with others, which can be as simple as smiling at people you meet day to day, such as security guards. Photo: Shutterstock

For instance, when we compliment someone, we are connecting meaningfully with them and sharing with them their positive attributes.

This helps us connect with our own humanness, because “seeing” others – that is, affirming them and showing that we understand them in a significant and empowering way – helps us feel seen and cared for ourselves, Chao says.

And feeling cared for makes us feel good.

Once a week, Middlemiss volunteers to help special-needs children at Mother’s Choice. Photo: Janet Middlemiss

As being kind is a big part of how we connect and develop relationships with one another, Middlemiss says that she tries to integrate kindness into her daily life. This could be by opening doors for people, giving up her seat on the train for someone who needs it, or offering kind words to friends and strangers.

“Small, random acts are sometimes the most impactful. They can make a huge difference and make the world a better place,” she says.

“This quiet kindness spreads joy and one kind act can lead to another. People who see someone else being considerate and caring are more likely to be kinder themselves.

“We never know what someone is going through or the type of day they’ve had. We each have the opportunity to make or break someone’s day with one smile, hug or thoughtful gesture.”

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