Is a Steamroller a Motorcycle? An Investigation
Steamroller
It's the hotdog v. sandwich of the motorcycling world.
Is a hotdog a sandwich?
It's a question that's been pondered for ages. The folks over at Good Mythical Morning even named one of their podcasts after the age-old thought problem. I attest that it is, but I know many disagree, including my brother.
But what if there were a far more interesting question along those same lines? One that crosses into the motorcycling and heavy construction worlds? A question so wild, it had to be investigated to the fullest extent of the law.
Is a steamroller a motorcycle?
That's the question one Redditor posed to the r/Motorcycles subreddit and a question that immediately set Slack, and Reddit, on fire. It both makes sense and doesn't, making you somewhat lose your mind as you grapple with the idea that a steamroller—you know, the heavy equipment seen flattening Christopher Lloyd in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?—could indeed be a motorcycle.
As you work through the dissonance, you sorta go cross-eyed and your brain starts to hurt. But you push on, as I did.
Your eyes tell you one thing, i.e. a steamroller essentially has two wheels connected to the main body via swingarm, but your mind tells you, "The hell have you been smoking? It's heavy machinery!" So you're left in this liminal space where nothing makes sense. Is up actually down? Is the sky actually blue? Are turkeys real?!
They aren't, by the way. They were part of a CIA program to milk hunters out of their cash to fund another coup in Guatemala.
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But let's look at whether or not a steamroller is a motorcycle from a definition point of view.
According to Merriam-Webster, yes, I'm pulling out the dictionary, a motorcycle is "an automotive vehicle with two in-line wheels." The Cambridge dictionary is even broader, stating, "a vehicle with two wheels and an engine." As for the feds, the NHTSA defines a motorcycle as, "a motor vehicle with motive power having a seat or saddle for the use of the rider and designed to travel on not more than three wheels in contact with the ground."
Emphasis mine.
All those definitions sure as shit seem to imply that a steamroller is, in fact, a motorcycle. Does it have two in-line wheels? Yep. Is it self-propelled by a motor of some kind? You betcha. In the case of the Cat CB13 Asphalt Compacter, your standard steamroller, a turbocharged inline four-cylinder diesel engine provides the power. And does it have a seat or saddle? It's a helluva throne up top.
So, yeah, a steamroller might just be a motorcycle. At least based on the definitions of three different sources, one of which being the United States government.
As for what I think, I'm leaning toward that idea, too. The whole conceit just sorta makes sense, as does the general layout of a steamroller. But I also think a hotdog is a sandwich, something I know a lot of people disagree with.
But what do you all think? Is a steamroller a motorcycle? And does ketchup belong on hotdogs? It does and I'm originally from Chicago, so shut it.