‘I just wanted the pain to end’: Olympic gold medallist announces sudden retirement

Chelsea Hodges, a member of Australia’s gold medal-winning women’s 4x100m medley relay team at the Tokyo Olympics, has made the shock decision to retire from professional swimming, effective immediately.

The 22-year-old, who has risen to become Australia’s premier female breaststroker, said she had made the agonising decision due to ongoing hip and back injuries that have plagued her career.

“Over the last few weeks I’ve been deliberating what my career and the rest of my life looks like. I’ve made the decision to retire from competitive swimming,” Hodges told this masthead. “I’ve been taking a lot of medical advice. It’s hard … I’ve told my close friends and family.”

Hodges has opened up on her brutal battle to get her body right for the rigours of top-flight swimming, during which she underwent three serious operations. Ultimately, the pain was too much to handle. Specialists told Hodges her hip resembled that of a 60-year-old.

A bronze medallist in the 100m breaststroke final at the 2022 Commonwealth Games, Hodges knew her continued participation in swimming could adversely impact her future quality of life.

Hodges entered the Australian Swimming Championships last month, which effectively serves as a final hit-out before the Olympic trials, before being forced to pull out.

Australian breaststroker Chelsea Hodges at the 2022 Commonwealth Games.

“I went home and cried for many hours. I think I knew my swimming was done,” Hodges said. “Being in pain all the time is very tiring. You are mentally and physically drained. I just wanted the pain to end. It feels like someone is grinding your bones any time you move and drilling a hole into your leg.

“Once it started getting sore again, I think I knew deep down that Paris wasn’t going to happen. I’m not ecstatic that I have to retire … but once I knew what my life would look like if I continued, it was an easy decision.”

Three years ago, Hodges was the unsung hero of Australia’s medley relay team.

Diving into the water after backstroker Kaylee McKeown, Hodges pulled off a blistering two-lap breaststroke split of one minute, 5.57 seconds to keep Australia in striking distance of the USA.

Breaststroke is where medley relays can be won and lost. Emma McKeon’s butterfly leg was strong before freestyle anchor Cate Campbell mowed down Abbey Weitzeil in a dramatic duel to seal a memorable win.

“I literally walked behind the blocks and I thought to myself, ‘You cannot leave a single part of you in that water because we need it’,” Hodges said. “I love to look back on the photos.”

Since Tokyo, life has not been easy for Hodges, who has battled chronic injuries since she was 13. Doctors said Hodges was growing too quickly, a theory her mother didn’t believe.

Then, on her 15th birthday, came the news she needed surgery to repair torn cartilage in her left hip.

Emma McKeon and Chelsea Hodges celebrate Australia’s victory in the 4x100m medley relay.

“No one could tell me what was wrong,” Hodges said.

She pushed through the pain, made senior teams and represented her country on the world stage.

In 2022, the setbacks continued. Hodges had long COVID, which affected her asthma. Then came a knee injury before a hospitalisation due to low blood sugar levels.

Hodges still picked up medals for Australia that year at the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham and world shortcourse championships in Melbourne.

“I always felt like it was one step forward, two steps back,” Hodges said. “It is really hard to find that light at the end of the tunnel.”

Last year, things became worse. A stress fracture in her back forced Hodges out of the water for six weeks. After her next session, she couldn’t walk.

Hodges missed last year’s world championships due to hip surgery.

“It was a mess,” she said.

By December, Hodges thought she was back on track, but her injury flared up again at a competition in Japan, forcing her to literally limp to the starting blocks for a race in which she ended up finishing second. It would be her last competitive race.

The reality of her situation was beginning to sink in.

“I begged my coach to go home. He was on the same page as me,” Hodges said. “In December, my surgeon said to me that I’d only have so many breaststroke kicks left. I’d done damage to my femur. We needed to make sure that my breaststroke kick lasted until Paris. Unfortunately, I used up all those kicks.

“It’s very devastating. I went into that appointment with my partner and physio. All three of us sat there and then in the car with my partner, I just burst into tears.

“[Retirement] is not something you think about so early in your career. I definitely knew that something was wrong. You have that invincible attitude that a lot of us athletes have. Hearing those words brought me back to reality.”

Kaylee McKeown, Chelsea Hodges, Emma McKeon and Cate Campbell with their medley relay gold medals.

Hodges went back for more surgery, five days before Christmas.

“People bring you food when you’re on crutches. They feel bad for you,” she said.

A week before Australia’s national championships last month, Hodges thought she could still make the Olympic team. Then came the return of the familiar stabbing pain.

It was, according to Hodges, “eight out of 10” pain for the best part of four weeks.

“I couldn’t sleep at night. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t function as a human. Any basic movement would cause me a lot of pain,” Hodges said. “My hip was the worst it had ever been. I had micro-fracturing of my femur, re-torn the cartilage that got repaired in April. It was more than a mess. I had bone marrow swelling. My MRI was a mess.”

The time had come. Hodges wanted to know what her life would look like if she kept swimming. Was the pain only going to get worse?

Doctors said she would never be pain-free but could end up with limited mobility if she continued swimming. If Hodges fell pregnant, she might end up bedridden.

As hard as it was, Hodges is at peace with her decision. She has almost finished studying to become a nurse and did not want her quality of life to be compromised.

The 22-year-old told a handful of her closest friends in swimming, including relay teammates Mollie O’Callaghan and McKeown, she had some news. They just assumed she’d be back next year.

“It was nice to tell them in person,” Hodges said. “I really wanted to make Paris. I really wanted the Olympics to be that end goal. I can sit here today and say that I did try absolutely everything I could. It just fell a little bit short.”

Hodges says she will attend Olympic trials in Brisbane next month to cheer on her old teammates. But don’t expect her to show up for the evening session of night two.

“I don’t think I will be there for the 100m breaststroke … that one will be a little too raw for me,” Hodges said. “I wish all the girls in that race luck. I’m a Dolphin forever and I’m an Olympian forever.”

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