India Lift World Cup, But Armchair Critique Not Retiring Yet!
One step, two step, three step, the white cricket ball is flung in the air, with a deft flick of the wrist. Running at full tilt, Suryakumar Yadav magically changes direction, defying the laws of inertia and momentum and nimbly jumps over the boundary rope and back into the field of play. Through all those steps not a single centimeter of his boot has touched the boundary rope. He pops back and does the easy bit – catch the ball he has just flicked up in a gentle trajectory.
It is one of the greatest catches in the history of cricket purely for its timing and the sense of occasion that surrounds it. David Miller, South Africa’s last realistic hope is out. Cricket is a game of great subtlety, and short passages such as these can change the course of a T20 match.
A freshly beardless Hardik Pandya, who was pilloried throughout the IPL for no fault of his, is the bowler. Two overs earlier he took the wicket of Heinrich Klaasen, he with the bulging muscles depositing Axar Patel and Kuldeep Yadav for sixes at will. He, who had clobbered the fastest 50 (23 balls) in finals history. He, with the ice coursing through his veins.
Klaasen and Miller had hammered India’s vaunted spin attack till they needed 30 runs off 30 balls with 6 wickets in hand. A cakewalk in any form of cricket, in T20s, almost a foregone conclusion. With these two behemoths at the crease, there was no way South Africa could lose from that position.
Sitting in a friend’s apartment as they repotted plants around my frantic pleas to the television, I had all but given up. When Jasprit Bumrah was tossed the ball to bowl the 16th over, I knew it was the last roll of the dice. Over the next five overs, Bumrah, along with Hardik Pandya and Arshdeep Singh delivered an incandescent execution of death bowling to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
The only thing sweeter was watching the usually calm and understated Rahul Dravid let out a guttural roar of naked aggression as he lifted the world cup trophy aloft. This was a last chance for the legend who had never won a World Cup as a player. My favorite cricketer of all time couldn’t have received a better farewell present.
No I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Hastily wiping away my alleged tears, I’m ready to announce the most unofficial 2024 T20 World Cup Awards and assorted banal accolades.
The Kammanahalli Gully Cricket Association “Hit out or get out raa” Trophy
Virat Kohli at the exact moment he was 50 runs off 48 balls in the finals.
Bob Marley Redemption Song Grant
My aunt who once called runs “points” but has since learned a costly, very public lesson.
The CSA “We are not bloody chokers” Runners Up Award
Ironically presented to the South African cricket team in a non ironic way
The Star Trek Temporal Anomaly Endowment
Awarded to the BCCI for ensuring cricket watchers in India always watched their matches at 8pm no matter what time the game was being played across the world.
The Canberra Department of Animal Husbandry Foot in Mouth Medal
Josh Hazlewood for his comments on indirectly knocking England out
RCB Consolation Prize for 100% attendance
A three way tie between Pakistan, Bangladesh and West Indies
CIA Citation for Triumph Against all Odds
Afghanistan (the cricket team)
H1B Scholarship for Immigrant Excellence
USA (the cricket team)
Decree of Demonic Uncertainty
Collected by the ICC on behalf of the New York pitch
The Karl Marx Distinction for Affordable Sports Viewing
Ticket pricing by the ICC, who rounds off our awards list with 2 wins!