How we met: ‘I’d stopped appreciating new things because I was always on my own. Now, I really enjoy them’

‘He was always putting me first, something I hadn’t experienced before’ … Loretta and Mark. Photograph: Supplied image

When Loretta retired from teaching in the summer of 2022, she admits it was “a shock to the system”. “I’d been working 12-hour days, so I took some time to decompress and find new activities.” As a longtime sports fan, she decided to take up golf near her home in West Bridgford, Nottingham. “I love being outside so it was something I really enjoyed,” she says. “I met a few new girlfriends too and we started playing regularly.”

In June 2023, her friends invited her to play with others from the club, which is where she met Mark for the first time. “I’d been living in Belgium, working in car export, before the pandemic,” he says. “When lockdown wiped all that out, I decided to come back to Nottingham, where I have a house. I played golf in the past and took it up again in 2021. By 2023, I was vice captain of the club.”

The first thing he noticed about Loretta was her enthusiasm for the game. “I’d never found anyone so interested in it,” he says. Loretta’s first impression was that Mark seemed kind. “He was really patient too and easy to be around. He offered to help me with my game.”

They continued to play together and Mark began to arrange more social activities for the club. “In July, he asked if I wanted to join a jazz evening with some other members,” she says. “I completely freaked out and said no thank you. I hadn’t had a relationship for such a long time because I’d been so busy as a headteacher and I felt overwhelmed.” Afterwards, he sent her photos from the event and they continued to stay in touch, playing golf together regularly.

Later that month, Loretta decided to ask him to meet for a drink. “He’d looked so crestfallen when I said I wasn’t going to the jazz night,” she says. “We met in a bar and ended up getting some food.”

Callout

Mark says he was delighted when she asked him out. “It felt very natural. I’d just missed her birthday so I used that as an excuse to ask her out again.” While Loretta had previously felt under pressure on dates, that wasn’t the case with Mark. “We just got on really well,” she says.

When Mark began to play in competitions in other towns, he invited Loretta to go with him. “The more I got to know her, the more attracted I was to her.” Loretta says that when they weren’t together they were always messaging each other and, by the end of August, they were officially a couple. “He was always putting me first, something I hadn’t experienced before.”

Shortly after they got together, Loretta became very unwell and was hospitalised. “I got Covid and an unknown bacterial infection and ended up really sick,” she says. “I kept telling him I was fine, but he visited every day and that really made me realise he was there for me.” As someone who was usually healthy, being in hospital “floored her” and she was grateful for his support. “I thought, if you can be at your worst with someone and they don’t run a mile, then that’s pretty impressive.”

They now live between their two houses and love spending as much time as possible together. Mark loves her attitude to life because it’s so different from his own. “I think I’m more ‘glass half empty’ and she’s ‘glass half full’,” he says. “I’d been by myself for a long time, but she has taught me to come out of my shell a bit.”

As someone who has always been independent, Loretta says it has taken a while to relax into “being looked after”. “I love how thoughtful he is, though, and we always have a laugh. I was definitely not expecting to meet anyone; I thought that door was firmly closed. It has been a nice surprise.”

Mark didn’t expect to find love again either. “I think I’d stopped appreciating new things because I was always on my own. Now, I really enjoy us experiencing things together, both good and bad.”