I cried when the UK extended Ukrainian visas – I don’t want my son to go to war

Ukrainian actress and theatre director Alina Tunik, who fled from Kyiv to Hertfordshire with her son after Russia’s invasion, cried with relief when the Government this week announced the Ukraine visa scheme would be extended.

“I am very worried about my son being 18 soon – I do not want him to go to war,” she told i. “When I found out about the visa scheme I cried, because before that I didn’t know where we would go when it ended.”

Ms Tunik said male friends of conscription age in Ukraine live in constant fear of being called up. “I have a neighbour who lives outside the city who monitors Telegram channels before driving to work, to avoid checkpoints where he could mobilised,” she said.

Her son Andriy*, 16, is studying for a foundation degree in computer science. He rules out returning to Ukraine to sign up in the future, but would like to return post-war after gaining skills that could aid the country’s recovery. He misses his friends and says he has not found the same friendships in the UK.

“I’m ready to create some technology to fight, or help the country economically,” he told i. “I’m not ready to fight physically. People should have a choice. There are enough people that want to fight, and if you force people they won’t be as effective.”

Angelica Stus tries to smile as she recounts taking her son and daughter out of Ukraine to protect them in the first weeks of Russia’s 2022 full-scale invasion. Like thousands of Ukrainian women, she left her husband behind, because martial law prevented most men aged between 18 and 60 from leaving the country.

Angelica Stus with her son and daughter in Romania (Photo: Angelica Stus)

From Romania, the trio returned almost monthly to visit him in the Chernivtsi region. Ms Stus wrote language textbooks for charity Terre des Hommes to help Ukrainian refugee children learn Romanian.

Read Next

Inside the City’s fightback over Cameron’s plan to seize £26bn in Russian assets

NewsExclusive

Inside the City’s fightback over Cameron’s plan to seize £26bn in Russian assets

Read More

But as the war ground on, and her son Symon’s* 18th birthday approached, she feared he would be trapped in Ukraine and called up to fight.

“He wanted to go home one more time to see his dad,” she said, tears welling in her grey eyes. “I heard a rumour that border guards didn’t let boys back to their refugee host countries if they were over 17 and a half years old.”

Symon, who has begun a law degree, is now cut off from his father until the war ends. He is reluctant to discuss whether he might return to Ukraine. “If you asked me a year ago I would say yeah,” he told i. “Now I don’t know.”

Ms Stus knows other mothers in Bucharest who made the same decision. “I’m not the first and won’t be the last mother to take her almost 18-year-old son out of the country,” she said. “There are many boys who have left the country on their own too, I know several. Their mothers have told me how hard it is for them to be apart.”

She has already lost relatives on the battlefield, and believes the years of war will pass quickly.

“I went to visit my husband over New Year with my daughter, but we had to leave Symon behind,” she said, wiping away more tears. “It felt so strange.”

With no swift end to the conflict in sight, last year the military suggested mobilising up to 500,000 more people. The age of conscription in Ukraine is currently 27, but a mobilisation bill making its way through the Ukrainian parliament could lower this to 25. Men cannot be sent into battle earlier unless they volunteer.

Igor Rudenko, 18, said many Ukrainian teenagers had moved abroad, mainly to avoid fighting, but he will reluctantly go to war for his country if it spreads (Photo: Igor Rudenko)

There are no statistics about the number of 16- and 17-year-olds leaving Ukraine permanently. UN data suggests more than 6.4 million Ukrainians have left the country, of which more than 2.3 million are children.

A survey of almost 1,400 Ukrainian schoolchildren aged 14 and older published last week by charity Saved suggested 26 per cent wanted to move abroad after finishing school, although the study’s focus was academic reasons rather than attitudes towards the draft.

Taras Shevchenko Kyiv National University student Igor Rudenko, 18, told i many Ukrainian teenagers had moved abroad, mainly to avoid fighting. But he added that dangerous conditions, or seeking education or work, were also common reasons.

His mother was torn over the decision of whether to leave Ukraine before Igor’s 18th birthday. “She would not want me to be in the army and have a high chance of dying,” he said.

In 2022, the family endured a terrifying escape from their home in Zaporizhzhia region, which is now occupied. “It was scary – before our eyes we saw a missile hitting a car that was evacuating,” said Rudenko. But despite this the family decided to stay.

Rudenko hopes to complete his studies and become a sound engineer. But he admits, somewhat reluctantly, if war spreads he will join defence forces. “I would really hate to die for the interests of oligarchs and politicians who start wars, while ordinary people suffer,” he said. “But you have to take care of your country’s independence.”

*Names have been changed to protect identities