Mom highlights double standard for parents in funny song

Mom highlights double standard for parents in funny song

“I want them to listen to this and think like, 'Oh, yeah, somebody sees me.'”

ByYi-Jin Yu

November 16, 2023, 7:46 PM

A Canadian mom is shining a spotlight on the ways society views mothers and fathers differently, putting a comedic spin on the message with her song “You Are Such a Good Dad.”

The song's lyrics highlight how mothers do a lot of the invisible labor in families but unlike fathers, who may put in the same effort, they are often not recognized for their hard work.

“I did the cooking and the cleaning and the groceries and the laundry. I fed the cat and the dog and someone stole my coffee. I got a gift for your mother she probably won't like. I paid a bill, wiped a butt, broke up a couple fights, then I just about lost my mind because we both took the kids to the park and someone said to you, 'You are such a good dad,'” Farideh sings at the start of the song.

Farideh wrote and stars in the music video for the song “You are Such a Good Dad,” which explores the double standard in how mothers and fathers are viewed in society.Courtesy of Farideh

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Farideh, whose new album “The Mother Load” focuses specifically on motherhood, said she was inspired to write and produce the song after she and her husband, Mark Ceaser, saw the double standard firsthand and how they were treated differently by other people after they became parents.

Farideh and her husband Mark Ceaser both have musical backgrounds and are parents to a daughter.Courtesy of Farideh

“I thought what's annoying about being a mother is that people approach my husband because he's pushing a stroller in public, like he's literally not doing anything. He's doing the bare minimum,” Farideh explained to “Good Morning America.” “And then I told that to a few people and they're like, 'Oh, that's funny. You should write a song about that.' So then I was like, 'Oh, this would be a great idea.'”

The mom of one based her funny and frank lyrics on her real-life experiences and hopes to spread the message to other moms that they deserve to be seen.

“That's exactly what people say. They come up [to my husband] and they're like, 'You are such an amazing father,'” Farideh said. “And he is such an amazing father. But people don't approach a mother at a grocery store for doing groceries and child care. And that's kind of the the point of the song — the contrast is quite different.”

According to Farideh, her husband Mark Ceaser has noticed the differences in how people treat him as a father and was on board with her “You are Such a Good Dad” song.Courtesy of Farideh

For Farideh, becoming a mother wasn't just a major life change, it ended up changing the course of her career as a musician. When she was just starting out, she didn't write songs about becoming a parent or motherhood because people in the music industry convinced her songs about such subjects wouldn't be picked up or sold.

“You'd write a song and they're like, 'Oh, you talk about having kids in the song. You probably shouldn't because women really can't get away with being referred to as mothers. Men can [be seen as fathers] because it makes them more attractive, but when women are seen as mothers, they're less attractive. So, take that out of your song,'” Farideh recalled.

It was an instruction Farideh said she took to heart and internalized. But right before the pandemic hit and when she left her former band, Rosie & the Riveter, she turned to content creation and soon realized other parents, especially fellow moms, were responding to her songs about motherhood.

“I really wrote this song for moms. I want them to listen to this and think like, 'Oh, yeah, somebody sees me. Somebody knows what it's like to be at home for 24 hours with a snotty child who's teething. Like, that is a particular struggle in life,” she said.

Along the way, Farideh also hopes to get a laugh out of her listeners and connect with them too at a future live show.

Farideh, a former member of the band Rosie & the Riveter, is a musician, content creator and mom of one.Courtesy of Farideh

“I hope that that they listen to the song, they laugh about their life, and they laugh into the chaos, and they just know that somebody sees me and has songs for me in this journey that I'm on,” the singer-songwriter said.

“I think mothers are looking for people to tell their stories so that they can see themselves reflected and I just get to have that honor,” she added. “I think there's just not that many songs about laundry, and I could write them.”