Life in a Foreign University | Married at 19, this is how Pooja made a new life for herself and daughter in New Zealand

Life in a Foreign University | Married at 19, this is how Pooja made a new life for herself and daughter in New Zealand

— Pooja Sangwan

I was married at the age of 19, and unfortunately, Indian marriages give little scope for self-growth, especially for women. With the responsibilities of marriage and eventually motherhood, I found little room to focus on my own career aspirations. The desire to provide a better example for my daughter became paramount. I refused to adhere to the strict societal norms that didn’t align with my true self. Moreover, the lack of respect within my family due to not being an earning member left me feeling undervalued. I realised education is the only way to move forward and become self-reliant. So, I decided to study further so that I could have a better life for myself and my daughter.

My new life began when Covid became the new normal. New challenges started popping up every day in my life, and during those challenging times, I was only worried about the well-being of my daughter. I always wanted my daughter to have the best of everything — be it education, opportunities, clean air or a safe environment. That is how my study abroad journey started.

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After being married for almost a decade and being under the shadows of my husband and in-laws, I wanted to check if I could live independently and survive by myself. I wanted to challenge my existing situation and explore. My primary motivation to study abroad was to assess my own strengths and break down my limitations.

Understanding the process

During my initial research, I understood that to go abroad, I would need to take the IELTS exam. I prepared for the exam in just 12 days and achieved a band score of 7. This strengthened my confidence in pursuing overseas education. For further process, I consulted a few counsellors, only to realise it was a mistake. They lacked knowledge about admission procedures and the required documents for studying abroad. Consequently, my application to Canada was rejected thrice. Then I consulted IDP Education, and after assessing my profile, they gave me two options – the UK and New Zealand. I liked both countries, but I felt New Zealand was more peace-loving than the UK, and hence, I decided to go ahead with New Zealand.

My father was also keen on New Zealand and my gut instinct also said the same. Additionally, I appreciated that I was required to make payment only after receiving the visa. As a result, I decided to choose New Zealand.

Documents that are required

– Valid passport

– Aadhar card or voters ID- or any residential proof

– Sponsors document General Provident Fund (GPF) of my parents as they were the sponsor

– Salary slips of the sponsor/s

– Salary statement of the sponsor/s

– IELTS scorecard

– Transcripts (please ensure that you have your transcripts in English. If it is in another language, then you will have to change it to English and attest the copies)

– Police Clearance Certificate

– Medical exam: please undertake a comprehensive medical examination of your entire body in India, as it is necessary in New Zealand. One can get the test done in NZ too, however, it will be an expensive affair.

‘Kiwis are sweet, but I felt lonely without my daughter’

Surprisingly, I experienced no culture shock upon arriving in New Zealand. The moment I placed my foot in New Zealand, I felt a sense of belonging, as if my dream had finally come true. To be honest, I did not find any difficulty in adjusting to this country. I always wanted to be here and hence was happy to arrive in New Zealand. However, it was incredibly difficult for me to live without my daughter and I used to cry a lot. My only solace was that she used to live with my parents, so I knew she was well taken care of.

I recall a period of about nine to ten months when she wasn’t with me here, during which I struggled to eat proper meals. Fortunately, I have a strong social support network here that ensured I was fed. Otherwise, I survived mainly on garlic bread and Fanta.

Finding a good job and accommodation here was a strenuous task. I have experienced 30-100 people applying for the same house that I have been looking for. Sometimes, it can be demotivating. However, with continuous efforts, I was able to find a good house that would be appropriate for my family and me.

Similarly, finding a good job while studying can be slightly difficult. I used to work at Sky Tower as a customer service representative and later, I got a job at the Griffins, the top biscuit company in New Zealand. It is crucial to have communication skills to be able to manoeuvre your way through a job and accommodation. This means being able to converse in English, or else you will always be dependent on someone to survive.

One of the things that I found different from India is that people here smile while walking on the road. Initially, due to this unfamiliar behaviour, I found it difficult to smile back and worried about the consequences. However, I soon realised there is a genuine warmth in their gestures, which made me feel safe and at ease. I could mingle easily with the locals without any hesitation. I find the Kiwis to be very evolved and mature — they accept people’s realities without any judgments. There is no societal pressure to live a certain kind of life. Breathing in the pure air of New Zealand added to the sense of contentment.

While I was searching for a job, I recall one day when I was walking on the SkyTower and struck up conversations with people. It was during this time that I unexpectedly landed a job there. This experience taught me the importance of being open and proactive in reaching out to opportunities. You just need to be open about everything and reach out.

Less academic pressure here, but dare to try

In New Zealand, more importance is given to practical knowledge and application as compared to India, where more importance is given to theoretical understanding. In class, discussions often revolve around case studies derived from real-life stories, fostering a hands-on approach to learning. Additionally, there is a noticeable absence of academic pressure here.

I am a healthcare assistant. I work 8 hours daily and it pays me $29.17 per hour.

While New Zealand has less academic pressure, one should always be open to trying and taking that risk. I have seen many students who do not prepare well and they find it difficult to prepare here too. Decide what you want- and then focus on how to get there.

One of the main things I want to tell aspiring study abroad students is to be thorough with the English language. You must know basic English to communicate and survive here. I see a lot of people having issues with communication, and they do not even practise to improve their language skills. One must prepare to speak well; fluency will come with time, but basic English is a must.

It is also important to learn basic life skills such as cooking, cleaning, etc. Many Indian students lack these skills, which pose a problem for them later.

Be prepared for difficulties that will come along the way. I wanted to make my life better, and I left my daughter for a year. Always remember that your life is your responsibility, not your parents’.

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