Kyle Richards says her daughters were a 'big deciding factor' in her separation

Actress and reality television star Kyle Richards became a mom when she was just 19 years old. Richards, now 55, is reevaluating her life … and her marriage to Mauricio Umansky.

On last week’s episode of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” Richards shared some of her problems with her marriage, saying, “I sometimes just get frustrated that I don’t feel like I’m being heard. I’m not going to stay in a situation that I’m not happy in. Things I wouldn’t want my daughters to accept, I’m not going to accept myself.”

After her appearance with Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager in Studio 1A, Richards took a moment to chat with TODAY.com to expand upon what she said on the show.

“I got to a point in my life where I’m not getting any younger and there’s certain things I didn’t want in my life anymore. And because [Mauricio and I] do love each other and we did not have a toxic relationship and we get along, it made it even harder,” she explains.

“I had to analyze this and say, ‘Would I want this for my daughters?’ They’re at an age now where some of them are getting engaged or have serious boyfriends. Would I accept that for them? The answer was no. And I thought, ‘Why am I treating myself any differently?'”

Kyle Richards and Mauricio Umansky (Kevin Mazur / Getty Images)

Reflecting on that confessional moment, Richards adds, “That was a big deciding factor for me, thinking like that,” she says. “When you’re a mom, you’re taking care of everybody else. No one’s going to be thinking like that for me. So I gotta look after myself now.”

Though Richards and Umansky are separated, they are living under the same roof and are trying to figure out what their family’s future may look like.

Adapting as a parent

Richards — mom to Farrah Aldjufrie (35), Alexia Umansky (27), Sophia Umansky (24) and Portia Umansky (15) — had to change her parenting style in the years between her first daughter and her fourth.

“I was a very strict parent, always, but this is a very different time,” she says. As a parent, “you have to adapt. I’m raising Portia differently than I did my eldest.”

She notes that she didn’t have to worry about social media when Farrah was younger. She also notes that the songs Portia makes her play on their drive to school in the morning “could really curl your toes!” She falls over laughing on the greenroom couch before adding, “I like to think of myself as a hip parent, but I just cannot believe it … there weren’t even songs like that when I was raising Farrah.”

Richards says that Farrah, Alexia and Sophia are like the “backup moms” for Portia. Alexia is a “free spirit,” and Farrah and Sophia are “more like me. Believe it or not, I’m actually reserved and not the social butterfly people think I am,” she says. Portia is “her own person.”

But in the hustle of getting through the day — the chauffeuring, the grocery shopping, the appointments and lessons — it can be easy to “forget about any issues in your marriage temporarily because of all the things you’re doing as a parent.”

Now, Farrah is living with her fiancé and Alexia moved in with her boyfriend a few weeks ago (which Richards is still trying to adjust to), Richards has had more time to reflect on her own wants and needs.

The thing she is most proud of in terms of her children is their confidence.

“That is something I did not have, and that makes me really proud,” she says, beaming. “Also, what I’ve gone through this last two years, seeing how my daughters have handled that and how they’ve grown and how they’re navigating through this has showed me so much about them and it’s been my proudest ‘mom moments’ of how they’re handling this.”

The importance of honest

Through the ups and downs of her marriage — and seeing it play out in the media — Richards learned that honesty is the best policy when it comes to communicating with her daughters.

“In the beginning, that was hard for me,” she shares. “I had a very specific role and we had such a strong family that I was so scared to even admit that things weren’t perfect. But in sharing with my kids and being 100 percent transparent with then, it has really changed my relationship with them, and our relationship is so much stronger and better for it.”

Richards recommends being honest and upfront with your kids. “We think they can’t handle it, but when you hide things from them and you’re trying to put on a brave face, it does affect your relationship.”

She adds, “I could not have gotten through this without them.”

This article was originally published on TODAY.com