I'm giving my baby my ex-husband's last name but he's NOT the father

• The 29-year-old woman took to Reddit’s popular Relationship Advice thread
• She revealed she fell pregnant by her ex-fiancé before the relationship crumbled
• Nonetheless, the mom said she wanted to continue with the pregnancy

A pregnant woman has revealed that she plans to give the baby her ex-husband’s last name even though he is not the father.

The 29-year-old woman, from the US, took to Reddit’s Relationship Advice thread to unravel the details of the drama.

She explained how she had fallen pregnant by her ex-fiancé – despite him having a vasectomy – before the relationship crumbled.

Nonetheless, the unnamed mom said she wanted to continue with the pregnancy but wanted to give the new child the last name of her ex-husband instead – especially since they already share a kid.

The 29-year-old woman, from the US, took to Reddit’s Relationship Advice thread to unravel the details of the drama

She explained how she had fallen pregnant by her ex-fiancé – despite him having a vasectomy – before the relationship fell apart (stock image)

The post, which was uploaded earlier this week, was titled: ‘How weird would it be if I gave a new, solo-baby my ex-husband’s last name?’

The woman candidly shared: ‘My now ex fiancé got me pregnant and blocked me on everything. He had a vasectomy and I had my IUD removed. We proceeded and I got pregnant.

‘He tried to force me to have an abortion the last few days, but when I refused, he blocked me. Good riddance.

‘I don’t know the quality of his vasectomy. I only know what he told me.’

She defiantly continued: ‘I am going forward with the pregnancy on my own. I am divorced, have a child from a previous marriage, and I kept my ex husband’s last name.

‘Our child had that name, so I just didn’t change it. Now, I’ve got this new baby coming, but the last name isn’t originally mine?

‘The father is obviously not going to be involved. Would it be crazy for me to give the baby another man’s last name? I don’t really want to go back to my maiden name because my dad was uninvolved too.

‘Ages ago, I asked my ex husband if I could have a baby alone and give it his name and he said it was fine. I said it as a kind of joke but now it seems like some cruel irony. I don’t know how he would feel now. Thoughts? I also don’t know how my exes future spouses or girlfriends would feel about it.’

The post was quickly flooded with comments as many attempted to reassure her that it would be fine to give the child her ex-husband’s last name since it is also still hers

The exasperated woman concluded: ‘I have no problems providing for the child, and I’m already emotionally attached.’

Elaborating further in the comments, she said that she and her ex-husband had been married for six years, adding: ‘I would definitely run it by my ex-husband just to be polite.

‘Also, I didn’t leave my ex-husband. He cheated on me with a woman while he was deployed. They decided they wanted to be together and that was that.

‘He has several children now – all by different mothers. Believe it or not, I tried very hard with both of my partners, as they’re the only two I’ve ever had. It’s not some story of me being a tramp and running the streets.

‘It’s my name too now. I didn’t just pick it and say, “looks good.” I have had this name for over 10 years, and it’s on all of my college degrees, licenses, etc.

‘It’s not “out of spite.” That’s legally my name. I didn’t anticipate that the man I thought was going to marry me, would run off. We were together for years. I didn’t anticipate any of that.’

She continued: ‘My main reason was that I wanted the same last name as my daughter. I think it’s a little weird too but I was trying to weigh just how weird it might be.

‘How will I explain to the future child? I’ll say: “Your dad wasn’t able to step up to the responsibility, so I did it alone. You have the same name, and me and your sister, and we love you so much.

‘”I’m sorry your dad couldn’t see how great of a person you are.” Or something like that. Will it be perfect? I doubt it.

‘My ex-fiancé specifically said he didn’t want it having his last name. He got extra cruel before he blocked me. It was rough.

‘If he came around and decided to be a father (or even involved), I would be more than willing to change the child’s name to his last name.’

However, on the other hand, other Reddit users were not on board with using the last name she still shares with her ex-husband

And the post was quickly flooded with comments as many attempted to reassure her that it would be fine to give the child her ex-husband’s last name since it is also still hers.

One person wrote: ‘It’s your last name. You never changed it back to your maiden, so it is essentially your last name, which means the baby would have the same last name as you. Just don’t go putting your ex-husband on the birth certificate lol.’

A second person commented: ‘This. Legally, it’s your last name. As far as any government entity is concerned, it’s your last name.

‘So unburden yourself from at least one worry. You’re not giving your baby your ex-husband’s surname, you’re giving that baby your surname.’

Another added: ‘It’s still your last name too, so if not your current last name, what would you use? Certainly not the guy that walked away and blocked you. It actually seems logical to me to use your current last name.’

Someone else wrote: ‘Personally I think it would be a little weird – not gonna lie. But it’s your last name now, so do whatever you want. I see nothing wrong with it.’

A fifth person commented: ‘It is not “another man’s name” – it is YOUR last name. You gained the same ownership of that last name when you changed your name, as anyone that was born with that last name.

‘If you are likely going to keep that last name (even if you were to marry again), I say use it. It is so you share a last name with your child. End of story.’

One person added: ‘It’s legally your last name still, so it seems reasonable. You can warn your ex-husband if you wish, and if he’s weird about, just remind him that it’s yours, and your other child’s last name too (plus that you don’t want to give the baby the last name of a man that’s declared he won’t be involved).’

‘I have the same last name as my mom and my sisters – my mom’s ex-husbands last name. I have a different dad then my sisters do. It was never weird and it made it easier for my mom,’ another person wrote.

However, on the other hand, other Reddit users were not on board with using the last name she still shares with her ex-husband.

One person wrote: ‘I gave my middle son my married last name (NOT husband’s bio- child) instead of my maiden, because I wanted him to match me and my oldest. My son wishes I’d not done this.’

Another person commented: ‘Don’t do it. Here’s why. It will confuse everybody, including the baby. You will be answering the same question for the rest of your life. It may affect your ex’s reputation.

‘People may assume he is a deadbeat/favors the first child. The baby may also make the connection, and believe that your ex is their father, and be confused/hurt that he doesn’t treat them the same as their older sibling. It’s ultimately your decision. I just don’t think it’s worth it.’

A third person advised: ‘It’s weird. Very weird. Unless he’s okay with it. Talk to him again in real time, so you can have a firm answer.

‘Future girlfriends shouldn’t be considered in my opinion. The decision just isn’t theirs to make, because they aren’t here right now. Talk to him and see what he says. He should have a say since it is his last name originally.’

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