Inside Britain's honours system: Gongs named after the defunct Empire, naughty nicknames for MBEs and OBEs and the 'black book' for people who put their own names forward - BRIAN HOEY reveals all

The honours system is a quintessentially, if rather archaic, British tradition.

But, in fact, almost every country in the world, from the totalitarian regimes of North Korea and China to every western democracy such as Italy, France and even the United States, has its own form of awarding honours.

Here in the United Kingdom, we still, somewhat nostalgically, award most of our honours in the name of the British Empire, even though it no longer exists.

When the King's birthday honours list is revealed, there will be plenty of mentions of 'Empire'.

The majority of awards that feature the word are the modest MBE (Member of the British Empire), middle-management OBE (Order of the British Empire), the CBE (Commander of the British Empire) - one step below the KBE (Knight of the British Empire.)

Those awarded the MBE occasionally like to point out that the letters stand for 'My Bloody Efforts', while the OBE stands for 'Other B*****'s Efforts.'

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The honours system is a quintessentially, if rather archaic, British tradition, writes BRIAN HOEY. Mary Earps, the goalkeeper for the England women's football team, is made a Member of the Order of the British Empire by Prince William last month

Here in the United Kingdom, we still, somewhat nostalgically, award most of our Honours in the name of the British Empire, even though it no longer exists. Above: Queen Elizabeth II knighting fundraiser Captain Tom Moore at Windsor Castle, July 2020

Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby after being made a Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order by King Charles III at Windsor Castle, May 14, 2024

Attitudes to the honours system vary even within the orders themselves.

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The Most Distinguished Order of St Michael and St George is reserved for diplomats and high ranking civil service officials.

The lowest form of the order is the CMG (Companion of St Michael and St George).

Once an official has received this award, his colleagues name him (out of earshot) Call Me God.

The highest rank in this category is GCMG (Knight Grand Cross, St Michael and St George).

The few who reach these lofty heights are referred to as (God Calls Me God).

There is a strict order of precedence in the Honours awarded in this country, with the most coveted being those given solely by the Sovereign: The Order of the Garter, the Order of The Thistle, the Order of Merit, the Companion of Honour and the Royal Victorian order.

The King, who is the fount of all honours, awards these without having to consult anyone. They are solely at her discretion.

All the others are still awarded by him, but on the 'advice' of the Government of the day, and unless he has any serious reservations, he is not permitted to refuse to grant them.

Not everyone who has been nominated for an award has decided to accept it. There has been several notable celebrities who have refused, including John Cleese - who not only declined a CBE but later refused a life peerage.

Film director Sir Ridley Scott is made a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the British Empire by Prince William at Windsor Castle, May 8, 2024

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Former Labour minister Margaret Beckett after being made a Dame Grand Cross of the Order of the British Empire by King Charles III at Windsor Castle, May 14, 2024

Dame Jilly Cooper after being made a Dame Commander of the British Empire by King Charles III at Windsor Castle, May 14, 2024

Perhaps one of the most original reasons for declining an honour came from George Bernard Shaw (above), who was asked to accept the Order of Merit, but refused on the grounds that 'Merit in authorship could only be determined by posthumous history'

Honor Blackman (left in 2013) said no to a CBE because she said she was a republican. David Bowie declined a knighthood

David Bowie declined a knighthood, as did Stephen Hawking.

Honor Blackman said no to a CBE because she said she was a republican. Vanessa Redgrave refused a Damehood but later accepted a CBE.

Perhaps one of the most original reasons for declining an honour came from George Bernard Shaw, who was asked to accept the Order of Merit, but refused on the grounds that 'Merit in authorship could only be determined by posthumous history.'

So, how does one go about obtaining one of these precious gongs?

There is a list of around 1,350 names that is published twice a year: at New Year and on the occasion of the Sovereign's official birthday in June.

The names are chosen by the honours committee, which meets at No.10 Downing Street.

The committee is chosen from senior civil servants and independent members who are not part of the Government.

Once the committee has decided on those who they feel warrant inclusion, the list is submitted to the Prime Minister and finally to His Majesty for approval.

If it has been decided to include your name in the honours list, you will be invited to one of the 26 Investitures that take place every year in the Ballroom at Buckingham Palace or Windsor Castle.

They are usually carried out in alphabetical order so if your name is Andrews, you will be near the front in January; if it is Zeigler, it could well be back in November.

You will be told that no cameras or mobile phones are permitted in the Ballroom, but every Investiture is filmed and each recipient can buy a copy, with his magic moment carefully inserted, for £120. T

The Palace never misses a trick and, as it is usually a once in a lifetime occasion, 90 per cent of all those present go home with this special memento of their big day.

Anyone can nominate a man or woman for an honour but the way to ensure you do not get one is to nominate yourself.

That is a guaranteed way to have your own name removed from this and any future list.

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Baroness Amos and former prime minister Sir Tony Blair attend the Order of The Garter service at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle on June 13, 2022

Eddie Redmayne poses with his OBE next to his wife Hannah Bagshawe at Windsor Castle, 2016

Olympian couple Dame Laura Kenny and Sir Jason Kenny pose after they received their respective Dame Commander and Knight Batchelor medals  from Prince William during an investiture ceremony at Windsor Castle on May 17, 2022

Take That singer Gary Barlow is awarded an OBE by Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace, 2005

A 'black book' is maintained containing all the names of those (and there are hundreds) who have put their own names forward, and once a name is placed there it is never removed.

There is official guidance on how to apply and the reasons and areas from which the successful nominees are chosen.

If you think you deserve an honour, the simplest way is to get at least 10 friends – not relatives - to write either directly to the honours committee, or to the lord mayor, mayor or leader of your council, or to the Lord Lieutenant of your county.

These all have influence in the selection and carry more weight than a private citizen.

Once a nomination has been received it can take up to eighteen months before a recipient is informed. They all have to be carefully vetted before being selected.

Then there is the political route. Ever since the 1920s, men who make substantial donations for political reasons can expect to be rewarded with an honour.

David Lloyd George - prime minister during the First World War - was accused many times of selling knighthoods.

The same scandal beset Tony Blair's Labour government. In 2006 it emerged that every donor who had given £1,000,000 to the Labour Party since 1997 had received an honour.

So, in the Honours system, as in almost everything else, money talks.