Beyond butter chicken and sambhar, how Alia Bhatt and Arjun Kapoor’s 2 States got real about Indian parents

Beyond butter chicken and sambhar, how Alia Bhatt and Arjun Kapoor’s 2 States got real about Indian parents

In India, parents aren’t just our parents, and when I say this, I don’t imply they’re “our best friends”. They’re the ceaseless providers of unsolicited advice, relentless matchmakers, and ardent believers in the mystical powers of haldi wala doodh or worse, waking up early. With a superpower to transform from benign Dr Jekyll to formidable Mr Hydes at the mere mention of ‘love marriage,’ they insist that the solution to every problem lies in either becoming an engineer or getting married (preferably both). They leave no stone unturned to ensure their offspring adhere to the golden rule — “Log kya kahenge? (What will people say?)”. This is true in the case of most parivaars.

Bollywood has a long-standing tradition of portraying Indian parents as bastions of tradition and cultural values. They are often shown as doting figures, whose rigid ideologies may clash with their children’s modern outlook but are ultimately grounded in love and concern. This romanticised portrayal is often used as a narrative device to underscore the importance of family unity and uphold the sanctity of parental authority, thereby shielding Indian parents from harsher criticisms. But Abhishek Varman’s 2014 film 2 States was a breath of fresh air, humorously taking a dig at parents who refuse to grow up, or refuse to see their children grow up.

Bollywood loves a good love story, but often the path to happily ever after is paved with parental disapproval. 2 States takes a refreshing approach, ditching the saccharine stereotypes and diving into the hilarious and frustrating realities of Indian parents grappling with love across cultures. The film shines a light on the complex expectations Indian parents have for their children’s love lives and careers. Forget just “arranged marriages,”  Krish Malhotra (Arjun Kapoor) and Ananya Swaminathan (Alia Bhatt) face hurdles because they’re Punjabi and Tamilian respectively — a clash that goes beyond culture to encompass food, music, and even skin tone!

Adapted from Chetan Bhagat’s autobiographical novel, Varman uses humour brilliantly. We see Amrita Singh play a Punjabi mom (Kavita Malhotra) showing her resistance towards accepting a ‘Madrasi’ girl, and Ananya’s South Indian parents (played by Revathi and Shiv Kumar Subramaniam) frowning upon the “loud Punjabi mannerisms”. 2 States isn’t afraid to get real. When Arjun’s character asks Alia, who is upset with his mother’s behaviour, “Hum ek dusre se pyaar karte hain. Kya yeh kaafi nahin hai? (We love each other, isn’t that enough?),” she replies, “Kabhi kaafi nahin hota  (Love alone is never enough),” before she storms out. Her four-word answer leaves enough room for the audience to see how their parents impact their relationship.  So when Arjun’s Krish says, “Hamare yahan Hindustan mein naa do char steps aur honi chahiye thi. Ladki ke family ko ladke se pyaar honi chahia…aur ladke ke family ko ladke see…. (In  India, marriage should have four more steps in the wedding pheras. The groom’s family must love the bride’s family and vice versa),” we felt it. And why not? Wooing the partner is not enough, if you want to marry your girlfriend/boyfriend, you have to woo their families, too

The film shows parents prioritising cultural purity and tradition over their children’s happiness. Ananya’s parents, who sent her far away to study, turn around and reject Krish solely because he’s not a ‘Tam Brahm’. Krish’s mom, who seemingly defied tradition by marrying his father from a different caste, becomes the biggest obstacle to her son’s intercultural love. The film is a more nuanced take than the usual East-West clashes. This resonated deeply with Indian audiences who recognised the quirks and anxieties of their own families.

2 States isn’t the only film to explore these themes. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham sees Amitabh Bachchan as a staunch patriarch who disowns his son (Shah Rukh Khan) for marrying against his wishes. However, it ultimately underscores the importance of family unity and parental love when the father finally accepts his daughter-in-law and reunites with his son. Similarly, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge has Amrish Puri playing a conservative father who has arranged his daughter’s (Kajol) marriage without considering her feelings. He later realises his mistake and supports her decision to marry her true love. In 3 Idiots, Boman Irani plays a domineering father who forces his son to pursue a career in engineering against his true passion for writing. He ultimately takes his own life. This portrayal sheds light on the pressure Indian parents often place on their children to pursue traditional careers.

In the same film, R Madhavan’s Parikshit Sahani disses the idea of his son becoming a wildlife photographer. Gauri Shinde’s Dear Zindagi and Shakun Batra’s Kapoor & Sons bring forth newer subjects, usually brushed under the carpet, that Indian parents might be uncomfortable dealing with — mental health and homosexuality. But then there were films like Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani and Darlings, among others, which show parents in a new light — supportive in both one’s careers and decisions. However, what makes Alia and Arjun’s parents in 2 States stand out is their almost ‘caricaturish’ representation. Sure, it may be problematic on some level, but it is the conversation that happens between the protagonists and their parents that speaks to the audience, especially the millennials trapped in somewhat similar situations, almost a decade ago.

Revathy and Amrita, both gifted actors, make the characters relatable and despite the two liking diverse things such as butter chicken and sambhar and Carnatic music and bhangra, they are the same women and every Indian mom. When Krish’s archetypal Bollywood movie mom, says, “Apko to yaakin nahi hua hoga..ki apko beti ko itna handsome aur qulafied ladka mila  (You must be surprised that your daughter has managed to get a guy as qualified as my son),” she is immediately reminded, “Actually 90 % Tamillians qualified hote hain (Actually 90 % Tamillians are qualified),” by Ananya’s uptight mother, to which the proud Punjabi that Amrita’s character is, says, “Lekin maaf karna 90 % Tamillians gore bhi to nahi hote (I am sorry, but 90 % Tamilians are not fair-skinned).” They might not have intentionally taken a dig at each other’s communities and the jibe may have come from the fact that they didn’t approve of their children’s choices, but the truth is they both agree on the same thing — children must listen to them even if they’ve graduated from IIM. After all, do Indian children ever grow up enough to choose their life partners?

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The portrayal of fathers in 2 States also borrows heavily from society. They’re not so forthcoming, speak sparsely and come across as stern. In the case of Krish’s father, played by Ronit Roy, in particular, there are no tender moments shared between the son and his alcoholic father, who is also an abuser. Unsuccessful in his own career, he not only disapproves of his wife’s desi, and affluent relatives, but also despises his son who aspires to be a writer. In the scene where Alia greets Ronit, her gesture is not reciprocated with warmth. In fact, the father advises his son that she is the biggest mistake of his life. Likewise, when Arjun visits Alia’s house and asks her father if she is home, her father gives him a piercing glance. “Uncle mooh toh aise bana rahe the..jaise mein anty pe chance mar raha hoon (He is making a face as if I am hitting on aunty),” Arjun’s character tells his therapist when he recalls the incident.

The film stands out because it strikes a chord with the Indian audience by exploring these deep-rooted cultural conflicts in a manner that is both relatable and entertaining. The movie’s narrative begs the question: why do parents in this day and age vehemently resist the union of individuals from diverse cultural backgrounds? In the film, Krish’s father displays a toxic attitude fuelled by alcohol consumption, while his mother holds the baseless grudge that Ananya has ensnared their ‘gora chitta ladka,’ an endearing term for their fair-skinned, innocent son.

While the climax shows parents from both sides agreeing to their union and becoming a big happy family, even as you leave the theatre, you keep wondering if the families will stop getting at each other after Krish and Ananya are married. It has been 10 years since 2 States was released in theatres, but I am constantly reminded of the depiction of quintessential parents whom I often bump into in real-life scenarios, especially now that my sister is trying to convince my parents to let her marry a guy of her choice, who isn’t from our community or state.

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