TikTok's potential buyers

Dude, where’s my car? Parked where it usually is, I hope. But that isn’t the case for a lot of people.

That’s because a viral TikTok has been showing people how to easily hijack Kia and Hyundai vehicles using only a USB cord.

And it isn’t just TikTok thieves you need to look out for. A Tesla owner, who used his smartphone as a key for his car, said he accidentally unlocked a stranger’s vehicle — and drove off with it.

Either scenario is enough to drive anyone mad, if you’re able to drive anywhere at all.

I’m Hallam Bullock, reporting from London, and I’m here to walk you through the week’s top Tech stories.

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1. TikTok? Any buyers?

US officials are demanding that TikTok divest its American business from its Chinese owners in a move that some believe would reduce its potential risk to national security.

But the list of companies that would actually consider buying TikTok is small, experts told Insider.

• The app would cost more than most companies would be willing to spend, particularly during an economic downturn.
• Analysts estimate the price tag for TikTok’s US assets could fall anywhere between $40 billion and $100 billion.
• One viable option could be a sale to a private-equity firm or consortium of firms, which would keep TikTok as a standalone company and could take it public via an initial-public offering, a few analysts said.
• Experts also noted that big tech companies that already run social-media businesses. Google has YouTube, and Meta owns Facebook and Instagram; both businesses would likely face antitrust scrutiny for buying a competitor.

Here’s who experts say could acquire TikTok.

Top tech stories of the week:

2. A laid-off Meta worker says the company paid her to not work. Following recent comments that Meta hired employees to do “fake work”, a former worker says Meta was hoarding staff like Pokémon cards. Read more.

3. “How could this have happened?”: Married couple who both worked for Silicon Valley grieved after its collapse. The SVB collapse nearly brought “mass extinction” to the startup industry. But here’s how it impacted some of the people working there.

4. Amazon’s return-to-office plan isn’t enough for this employee, so she’s quitting. She was initially excited to get back in the office, however, she told Insider that the office she was going back to wasn’t the same office she had before the pandemic. Here’s the full story.

5. ChatGPT sent a math teacher into an existential crisis, but now she is using the AI to her advantage. ChatGPT could pose a threat to many industries — Insider even listed the careers most at risk — but one teacher says it can make their job much easier. Here’s how she uses it.

6. Ever tried fasting like Elon Musk? We have. Musk said he lost more than 20 pounds last year by “fasting periodically.” So, Insider’s Sam Tabahriti put it to the test – and the results surprised him. Read more.

7. The US would destroy Taiwan’s semiconductor factories rather than letting them fall into China’s hands. That’s according to a former national security advisor, who said if China ever took control of the factories, they could “control the world economy. The full story.

8. Peter Thiel said he had $50 million in a personal account at Silicon Valley Bank when it collapsed. Despite advising clients to pull their cash from SVB last week, Thiel told the FT that he had a large sum of his own money in the bank when it collapsed Friday. More here.

From our tech analysis team:

9. Silicon Valley Bank’s meltdown shows that tech’s elites need the government after all. Many tech execs and VCs fight against government intervention in the industry. This libertarian streak was broken as many realized the government had to step in as SVB collapsed. Read on.

10. Meta’s job cuts aren’t about the economy, or inflation. They’re about Mark Zuckerberg’s mistakes. Meta laid off 10,000 staff this week; when combined with November’s job cuts, that’s over 21,000 in total being laid off. Zuckerberg points to economic changes, but investors have long said it’s Zuckerberg’s own decisions that led to this point. The full story.

Today’s team: Hallam Bullock in London, Lisa Ryan in New York, and Dave Smith in Toronto.