Therapist reveals the bedtime habit that could RUIN your relationship

• Tracy Ross discussed the strain ‘parallel scrolling’ could have on your love life  
• The practice refers to when couples lay side by side but silently swipe on phones
• It might seem harmless but Tracy argued that it can cause ‘more separateness’ 

A couples therapist has revealed the simple bedtime habit that could be ruining your relationship.

Tracy Ross, who has more than 30 years experience as a therapist based in New York, recently spoke to the HuffPost to discuss the strain that ‘parallel scrolling’ could be having on your love life.

The practice refers to when couples lay side by side but silently swipe on a phone or tablet without engaging with one another.

It might seem harmless but Tracy argued that it can cause ‘more separateness’ due to partners seeming ‘distracted’ during their downtime.

Tracy Ross, who has more than 30 years experience as a therapist based in New York, recently spoke to the HuffPost to discuss the strain that ‘parallel scrolling’ could be having on your love life

The practice refers to when couples lay side by side but silently swipe on a phone or tablet without engaging with one another (stock image)

Tracy told the outlet: ‘While the need to unwind at the end of the day is completely understandable, it’s hard to deny the damage it can do to a relationship.

‘Connection is critical for a strong relationship, and it needs to happen regularly, without fail, for a couple to thrive.’

She added of parallel scrolling: ‘You’re basically decreasing the chances of intimacy and affection, or just generally engaging with your partner.’

But Tracy also offered suggestions on how to rectify the issue.

She suggested that couples have an open conversation about phone usage and how they can ‘find something to do together’ instead.

The expert dished: ‘Ask yourself if you are using the phone to avoid your partner — and if so, what could that be about?

‘Habits tend to stick, and unless we actively try to change them, they persevere.’

If your partner agrees with putting an end to mindless scrolling, a possible solution can be setting a social media time limit, putting phones away during dinner, or doing a digital detox one day a week.

It might seem harmless but Tracy argued that it can cause ‘more separateness’ due to partners seeming ‘distracted’ during their downtime (stock image)

Another option can be ‘parallel play,’ which includes partners participating in individual activities, while minimally engaging with each other.

Elsewhere, psychotherapist Aimee Hartstein, who is also based in New York, said that it is unrealistic to expect people to unplug from their devices the entire evening – since it is how we consume news and stay connected.

She added: ‘If a couple is happy in the relationship, it’s probably not a problem.

‘People often do better scrolling in bed at night when they are sharing what they are doing.

‘If you read each other bits from the news or show each other funny pet memes, then you’re still scrolling but also connecting to one another. That’s the goal.’

Jeff Guenther, who is a therapist from Portland, Oregon previously suggested ‘four simple lifestyle shifts’ that can additionally help couples gain a stronger relationship.

The positive habits include not expecting your partner to handle things in the same manner as you, giving more love than your partner asks for, continuing to flirt with them, and prioritizing them over your phone.

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