FEELING unfulfilled between the sheets due to mismatched libidos or sexual desires can be a huge issue.
Figuring out what makes you tick could be the key to enjoying better intimacy.
Feeling unfulfilled between the sheets due to mismatched libidos or sexual desires can be a huge issue Credit: Getty
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Netflix programme Sex, Love And Goop looks at the idea of “sex personalities” and how a better understanding of yours and your partner’s can unlock a great love life.
Take our quiz by sexpert Alix Fox to work out what yours is.
Note your answers then go to the bottom of the page to discover what type you are – and what type you’re compatible with.
1 What essentials are in your bedside drawer?
A. Scented candles and some massage oil.
B. A box of tissues and an old phone charger.
C. A blindfold to help you block out distractions during sex.
D. Bondage rope and car keys in case you want to take sex outdoors.
E. The latest clitoral stimulator, flavoured lube and a sexy card game.
2. What’s your favourite type of foreplay?
A. Being kissed on a bed covered in rose petals after a home-cooked dinner made by your partner.
B. You do not need much of a warm-up. You are always ready to get down to business at the drop of the trousers.
C. You enjoy a long, intense build-up and like to be slowly teased until you are ready to explode.
D. Role play and power play. You like “real life” to stop and your escapist “sex life” to start.
E. A shared bath or your partner slipping his hands in your underwear while you are cleaning — all sorts turns you on.
3. Which of these options below describes typical love-making with your partner?
A. Your partner suggests morning sex but you are horrified: Morning breath and messy hair? No thanks.
B. Your partner’s bum looks so fit you can’t resist an afternoon quickie.
C. The best sex is a rare weekend away because everyday life means you go weeks without it.
D. You can barely hold hands without it leading to cracking out the handcuffs.
E. Your partner loves to keep the lights on so you can see each other, and you go along with it.
4. What are the usual seductive sounds playing when you are having sex?
A. You have got a carefully selected playlist of songs from the movies.
B. Whatever is on the telly in the background.
C. Classical or ambient and maybe forest sounds.
D. Who knows? Our moans drown out whatever is playing.
E. Nothing you recognise — your partner found it on Spotify.
5. What thoughts pop into your head in the middle of sex?
A. Is this bra and knickers set flattering and I need to hurry up if I want to clean the bathroom before work.
B. Is he nearly done yet? Good sex does not have to last hours.
C. This is amazing. I hope they feel the same. But slow down so I can really enjoy it properly.
D. I’m loving this fetish-style stuff but I would be embarrassed if anyone could see what I’m doing.
E. Maybe we could move things to the floor, or against the wall. I could go all night.
Figuring out what makes you tick could be the key to enjoying better intimacy Credit: Getty
7. What is the point of sex for you?
A. To be pleasured and romanced in equal measures.
B. To reach orgasm and then sleep.
C. To connect with yourself and your partner on a higher emotional level — it’s almost spiritual.
D. To leave behind the normal 9 to 5 and release that naughty hidden side nobody usually sees.
E. Sex ticks all sorts of boxes for you — you do not like to be restricted to having only one style of intimacy.
8. Things are going wrong for you between the sheets – is it because . . .
A. Your new lace knickers are scratchy and you are distracted by that join where the wallpaper meets.
B. It is taking you ages to orgasm and you are frustrated.
C. You feel misunderstood and distant from your lover — it is not the magical soulmate experience you want.
D. You want to ask your lover about trying something kinky, but you risk freaking them out.
E. You go along with your partner’s desires but suspect there might be things that work better for you.
9. What is your favourite erotic fantasy?
A. Being swept off your feet during the perfect date — then your lover makes your body tingle with pleasure.
B. Fast and furious sex on the sofa with your knickers round your ankles.
C. You are in a trance and your lover’s slightest breath sends you over the edge into orgasmic waves.
D. Either being totally in charge of someone, or them being totally in charge of you. Maybe with someone else watching.
E. You heard a story on an X-rated podcast recently that got you thinking about a swingers’ club.
Mostly As: THE SENSUOUS
A CLASSIC romantic – soft lighting and an impeccably made bed. You delight in getting 360-degree pleasure from the five senses.
However, your perfectionist tendencies mean that if something is not spot on – whether the room is too hot or there is a messy floor – your desire can quickly leave the building.
You might worry about whether your body looks good, and can easily get distracted during sex by fretting about other business.
A Slowburner can be a great match for you if they help you lean into your emotions.
A Superfreak can be a brilliant partner too, as they love scene-setting, and trying some fantasy role-play can help you block out day-to-day concerns invading the bedroom.
Mostly Bs: THE SEXBOMB
YOUR sex drive goes from zero to 100 in seconds. Once you are turned on, you like to put your foot down and fast forward to climax as quickly as possible.
Sexbombs know the swiftest route to their own satisfaction.
You like the simple sexiness of nudity, oral and intercourse and you do not need extra bells and whistles.
A Switcher is a good match for you as they tend to be up for whatever, whenever. But they could get bored if you complain about their imaginative ideas, which you see as “unnecessary fuss”.
In any partnership, just because other people’s pleasure pathways are not as direct, fast or mainstream as yours, that does not mean they are not worth riding.
Someone with a sexbomb personality goes from zero to 100 in seconds Credit: Getty
Mostly Cs: THE SLOWBURNER
YOU are a sensitive soul and need a partner willing to take their time with lots of teasing and build-up. You have to be in the right headspace to feel sexy and if someone pushes or hurries you, you shut down.
For you, sex is about inner feelings but you are not always great at expressing what you want. It is easy for partners to make mistakes as they try to guess.
They may even interpret you as being closed off and thorny. You might need to practise communication skills so your partner can learn how to please you.
Beware of the Sexbomb, whose speedy style can leave you feeling intimidated. The Switcher and the Sensuous can be magical matches – they enjoy spinning out the build-up until you are both ready to explode.
Mostly Ds: THE SUPERFREAK
DIG out the handcuffs and break the rules. The biggest thrill of sex for you is when you are doing something that feels taboo.
You like the rush of being naughty, and get a huge sense of relief and escapism from playing a completely different role from the one you do in public.
You get hot at the thought of someone being dominant and in control, though it might be you or your partner who must be obeyed.
The Superfreak often lusts after giving or receiving intense sensations, such as spanking. You might worry what you are into is freaky or embarrassing.
Your sex life will benefit more from talking about these feelings than hiding them.
You can find harmony with other Superfreaks, but as long as you do not both want to be in charge.
Mostly Es: THE SWITCHER
YOU are easily pleased and slip-slide into whatever sexual style your partner happens to prefer. You have an incessant erotic appetite and crave as much as you can get, whatever flavour is on offer.
A laid-back attitude can mean your own tastes do not get the attention they deserve. Body mapping – where you explore your body in detail to discover where and how you like to be stimulated – can help you uncover your own pleasures.
You match well with any personality, although Superfreaks may take advantage of you by always having things their way.
Your desire to try new things means you can get bored, and your hunger for a lot of sex may make some partners worry they cannot keep up.
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