Manchester United and Spurs torn to shreds as Ten Hag sack demanded to save three players

Manchester-United-Kobbie-Mainoo-Erik-ten-Hag-Sir-Jim-Ratcliffe

Manchester United are in danger of losing Kobbie Mainoo and Alejandro Garnacho to Real Madrid if Erik ten Hag continues. They might prefer Anthony Gordon.

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Casemiro the truck and Fernandes the engine

Well, that was shockingly bad. Not sure what it is about this United team lately, or why it takes until the second half to wake up and resemble anything sort of acceptable, but it is concerning. Bournemouth were the scissor to United’s paper.

The first half was brutal. The front three all looked dreadful. Hojlund was anonymous and has reverted to his October version since his return from injury, Rashford is still playing poorly, adding little value, and Garnacho was more hinderance than help today- although he at least could be forgiven for being tired, plus did grab an assist.

The middle was a porous as ever, and I cannot for the life of me understand how Casimiro only seems to have legs when bombing forward. He’s like a truck going forward but equally like a truck reversing towards the defense. “Beep… beep… beep” he bums back as Bournemouth batter the back line.

The defense was the teams best part, and was still dreadful. Dalot look shattered(reasonable considering his work load lately) and Kwambala was exposed for his inexperience (although not sure what he could do about the free kick or losing his balance). Maguire did reasonably well in fairness, made important blocks, and AWB was just about ok(not sure there’s a player who gets more fouls given when he actually wins the ball).

Fernandes had a captains performance, and saved United’s graces, but we owe more to luck that his efforts, as appreciated as they were.

I love Fernandes but he can’t be the deepest player we have when seeking a late goal, and why nobody is showing for it in the last minute boggles the mind. It would be great if he could stick to a position, but then again, there’s been times where he’s been the last man in games, and thankfully so. He’s got some engine.

Bournemouth to their credit started fantastic and had a lot of energy. They took their goals well and could have had 5 before the half was up. Fortunate for the first goal, but it was a great finish from a very good striker in Solanke- he shouldn’t be there for much longer. Kudos to Kluivert too on a killer first half. They did fade in the second half, but were unlucky not to get the 3 points they deserved.

Utd looked their best last year with both Casimiro and Eriksson starting, but with both now having lost their legs, the midfield no longer has ability to control and dominate that part of the pitch. Both need replacing, and as good as Kobbie is, he can’t be relied at this early stage of his career to do either role.

I said to my brother before the game that perhaps United want to drop out of all the European places altogether, focus purely on the league and all evidence recently suggests that’s probably the case – whether on purpose or simply by merit.

I’m still in the ETH camp, but there are some big changes needed this summer- starting with a new spine. They need two CM’s, two CB’s, a CF & most likely a LB to be what I assume ETH wants them to be. Which will hopefully be more rock than paper.

Calvino (Mad to think had they had held on last week, and won today, they’d have been 1 point off Spurs & Villa)

The kids aren’t alright

Mainoo, Garnacho and Amad are United’s future. Their regular substitutions and benching are becoming increasingly unfathomable, distressing and adversely impacting on the club’s performance. Sir Ratcliffe and United’s hierarchy must take immediate steps to protect these young players to avoid another Sancho saga and ensure that we don’t lose them to clubs like Madrid and City which have openly professed interest in these young players. Please act now.

Professor (Dr) David Achanfuo Yeboah

Spurs are no better

The only thing more spursy in this country than Spurs habitually falling flat on their faces Van de Ven style is the media rushing to congratulate them for periodically resembling a competent football team before their inevitable collapse.

From The Guardian writing week long think pieces on Spurs “bravery” by parking 9 men on the halfway line in a game they lost 4-1 to The Telegraph declaring the end of “spursy” because they fluked an injury time winner against the worst team in the PL since Derby to the BBC heralding the arrival of the new Invincibles because they somehow escaped a beating against City (which they do every year anyway).

Even F365 has been playing along the “oooh they’re repeating Arsenal’s title charge from last year” lines all year and were quite hilariously bigging up Van de Ven in the weekend preview.

The reality is that they had the same points after 32 games under Conte last year than they do under Ange this year. Only they had a much better GD last year. Their so called best defense in the league getting multiple shouts for players getting in the team of the season has conceded the same goals today as Arsenal have in 4 and a half months. Their goals conceded is DOUBLE that of what Arsenal have conceded this season. Even with Vicario (GK of the year apparently), Porto (best RB in the league), Van de Ven (not just the best defender in the league but the best thing since sliced bread), Romero (Ramos incarnate) and Dogie (best LB in the league), they’re on track to concede more goals than they have in almost a decade. Who knew there’s more to defending than just being fast?

And this is all happening in a season where Tottenham did their usual sh*tting of the pants in all competitions. They were out of the league cup before August was out FFS and didn’t even get to Europe. With Europa next year, the increased games will put even more stress on a bonkers play style and you’ll have Spurs fans crying about how they would have had another title charge ending in November because of injuries.

May I suggest for F365 and the broader media to possibly calm their t*ts when they inevitably fluke 3 wins from their first 3 games next season and NOT declare them as title contenders?

– Falooda in NY (the best thing about football is that no matter what happens, the joke is always on Tottenham(

Post truth

Ok can all the crazy Liverpool fans asking for postecoglu stop it now? We need someone to fix a defence not make it worse.

Also every time I watch van den ven he’s always out of position. My worry whenever people harp on about someone’s pace is that there’s prob not much beyond the pace. Looks that way with van den ven.

In good news it looks like a second manager is gonna turn down Liverpool to stay where they are, I’d argue there’s only something to lose for up and coming coaches following klopp. Really we need someone who’ll take two year contract and isn’t bothered about the pressure because it’s not a risk for them, Jose stop gap? Seems like a lot of people are a little scared of following the best manager we’ve had in our premiere league history.

Looking forward to watching Salah smash some more rugby conversions on Sunday…

Lee

Hey Mickey, you’re so fine

Slippey van de Ven

Kind regards

Tim Sutton (what’s that oh ten Hag still manager is he gosh)

At least Newcastle are good again

I made sure I was up early enough to watch us host Spurs, with the feeling that a draw, a narrow win, and a narrow loss were all about equal in probability. NUFC’s squad is weak, but the *team really is strong. In the first months of 2024, I had worried — without expressing it here, natch – that the squad might be splintering. I seemed to see more recrimination on the pitch than last season. If I was ever right, today told me I’m not any more. That was a remarkable performance, with almost no individual errors from Newcastle players. That a back three in which Dan Burn was by far the most expensive player sent Heung-Min Son for an early shower was remarkable. Tottenham were never in it; how much of that was Spurs being crap and how much was the Toon enforcing its will is open to debate.

I spent much of the day searching the web for US-licensed footage of the post-match manager reactions – strangely, NBC carried none of that today – and finally found a Saudi edit of a TNT feed with Peter Crouch, Rio Ferdinand, and a woman whom I can’t identify, but looks suspiciously like Rebecca Lowe. Eddie paid tribute to Bruno Guimarães’ successful avoidance of suspension via yellow card accumulation, as well he should. Honestly I wouldn’t have believed it possible. A disciplined Bruno is a valuable player indeed.

Alexander Isak was, as usual, pretty clinical. And when later asked about the goals he scored, he spoke about the one he’d missed. Isak is very aware on the pitch, but he’s also smart, and about more than just football. The lad is a worker, for all his talent, and I think that can make him special. Unless or until some desperate defender destroys his fragile-seeming legs and their beautiful soft feet. The club would be mad to sell him. £130 million would be a starting bid, given the £65 million we paid. Bruno, whom I worship as a god, is a far better option for sale given what we paid, and frankly more replaceable. Especially with Joelinton having signed a new contract and Longstaff, Willock, Elliott, jostling for a position alongside him and Tonali.

Still, my man of the match was Anthony Gordon. There are still a few Geordies bemoaning Alain Saint-Maximin’s exit, but they’re getting quieter and quieter. Gordon is having a remarkable season, and for all the credit he’s getting – including his first caps for England – it’s probably going a little under the radar. There are very few players in the Barclays that have a more consistent effect on matches. He’s an offensive presser, a defensive outlet, a goal threat, and a dangerous passer and crosser of the ball. He draws a ton of fouls, earning free kicks and breathers for the squad, and he often panics defenses. He’s not a leader yet in terms of on-pitch rallying, but by God, he leads by example. Belta.

I’m a longtime Bruno Fernandes detractor. For all his skill, his emotions seem to rule him. Recently, he’s turned that to his advantage; this isn’t the first time of late I’ve thought that he looked like a captain. But isn’t that it for Ten Hag, then? Every step forward seems to come with two steps back. He won’t be fired during the season, but can he survive the summer?

Was hoping to see Forest beat Wolves today, with Gio Reyna starting for the first time. For all you non USians, Reyna is the son of Claudio Reyna, who was in his day considered the best footballer ever to represent the US. (Naturally, you will find this humorous, as he played for Sunderland and pre-Sheikh Mansour Man City; go on, have your laugh, I’ll wait.) Gio has performed in Europe at a far higher level than his dad ever did, but he’s mercurial, and his personality may stand in his way. Gio would prefer you remained unaware of the fact that his mother leveled charges of decades-old sexual abuse involving her college friend against US coach Gregg Berhalter because she was angry at Gio’s limited playing time at the 2022 World Cup. Poor kid. I thought he was pretty good early on against Wolves. If he can come to an understanding with his teammates in short order, he could matter for Forest, because the kid can score goals.

Chris C, Toon Army DC (If I ever met Fabian Schär, I’d ask him to kiss my girlfriend.)

Gordon Bennett

Dear ed,

Do you reckon those Everton fans who were very unpleasant to a young player a while back, now wish they’d showed him a bit more kindness?

Ta,

Dave (they’d probably be even deeper in the FFP shit TBF) PVFC

One goal, Jeremy?

Right, left, stepover, right, shot, nutmeg, goal…Nice.

Doku want me baby…Doku what a Gooooal.

Calvino (If it’s not a thing, it should be a thing. You can steal this one City )

Talkin’ ’bout my generation

I was reading Jason Soutar’s top 10 article on highest-earning footballers in the world, and the main thing which caught my eye was this tangent/aside on Neymar: “He is the third-best player of this generation behind Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo”. This seemed intuitively wrong to me. I’m writing this not to pedantically disagree with the article, but rather, I thought it was an interesting thing to think about and discuss in retrospect.

Ronaldo is 39 years old, Messi will soon be 37, Neymar is 32. Who one thinks to be the third-best player behind Messi and Ronaldo will depend on how they define “this generation”, but it’s worth considering the following players would all be part of this conversation:

– Luka Modric (38)

– Luis Suárez (37)

– Karim Benzema (36)

– Robert Lewandowski (35)

– Others I am probably forgetting

If a Brazilian playmaker should be in consideration, even Kaká (almost 42) has a less-weak shout for third-best player than Neymar, and is closer in age to Ronaldo and Messi than Neymar. And if we are ranking 32 year old playmakers, putting Xherdan Shaqiri over Neymar is a hill I’d be willing to die on.

Oliver (Suárez gets my vote, obviously) Dziggel, Geneva Switzerland

City fans are not angry

I did find those mails very amusing.

Sure you can believe that if you like, that city fans just enjoy life and have nothing to be angry about…unless of course you point out they repeatedly break the rules and find technicalities to hide behind. Then they’re as indignant as the rest of us, the difference is the rest of us are indignant about how we play the game. Not how we cheat the game.

But but but we have not been found guilty of anything…we are so innocent until proven guilty ..

You were guilty, you didn’t ever prove innocence at any point. you avoided having to defend it by throwing paperwork at it. As for the innocent until proven guilty…I guess Epstein was an innocent man too since he was never found guilty.

And in the event the premier league does decide to delegate city to non league I doubt any city fan will quietly accept the situation with dignity and admit that yes they did in fact cheat. You will complain and scream it’s not true and it’s all a conspiracy to keep the ‘cartel’ in power. You will Donald trump your way through the lower leagues with a righteous indignation that makes everyone else’s out together seem like solemn acceptance.

You’re not angry now because you’re in denial.

Lee

More Saka because why not?

A bit late to the party regarding Saka but if you look at some of the penalty shouts this season from Saka he has form for doing the very same thing he did the other night, flicking his right leg into the (keeper, defender) to initiate contact and win a penalty. He has done this both domestically and in Europe the only difference is he didn’t get away with it in Europe but did in the PL.

On to referees, I watched the PSG game and it turns out that Anthony Taylor isn’t bias against any team he is just shudderingly shite, missing clear fouls and giving wrong decisions the entire match he really was eye wateringly awful.

Paul Murphy, Manchester

As an Arsenal fan, at first look, I wished it was a penalty, then it was denied, also by VAR. The thing is Saka should have just scored, but I am sure he has learned his lesson. It is a learning curve for us. I know 80% of Arsenal fans stopped caring about that decision on Wednesday night, we have moved on, we are thinking of Aston Villa. We will love other fans to also move on. Thank you.

Irony will be Liverpool, looking down on Atalanta and playing a weakened team and getting spanked, bringing back their first team for Palace, and not getting the 3 points. That will be really hilarious

Kufre, Nigeria