From Newry’s Copper Grill to the Europa and Slieve Donard hotels, John Toner has been a true hospitality hero

Growing up in a working class family during the 1970s, trips to restaurants were few and far between. So being taken to the famous Skandia in Belfast was a proper treat. It seemed so posh, with uniformed waiting staff and oversized menus. At home, we had a simple two course menu: take it or leave it…

Newry didn’t have a Skandia but we had the ‘nearly’ as grand Copper Grill. It was a truly special place.

Our family couldn’t afford to go out for birthdays but for those coming of age occasions like christenings, Holy Communion and Confirmation, my dad would splash out and we celebrated at the Copper Grill.

I don’t remember much about their menus but I do recall the highlight was desserts – the exotic pavlovas, massive cheesecakes and chewy baked Alaskas.

But to a seven-year-old, the king of desserts was the ginormous knickerbocker glory, replete with a long spoon to delve deep into the bottom of the bevelled glass. This glacial fruit filled delight was topped off with loads of synthetic cream and a little paper umbrella.

Eating a knickerbocker glory required some dexterity for a vertically challenged child, who often had to kneel on a chair to tackle it.

The Copper Grill has long gone but for many it remains that safe harbour of happy childhood memories, like those long sunny summers which we never seem to have any more.

And the connection to this book review?

John D Toner has shared the story of the ups and downs of his own life as well as his experiences on the frontline of the north’s hospitality industry during the Troubles, including as manager of the much-bombed Europa Hotel in Belfast

Well that’s simple: John Toner, a man synonymous with the Northern Ireland hospitality industry for nearly 40 years. John had an illustrious career, mainly with the prestigious Hastings Group, but his baptism of fire started one summer when working in the Copper Grill. He was in at the deep end, and John soon discovered that hospitality was where his heart lay. He certainly remembers doing a roaring trade in knickerbockers.

Had John Toner pursued the career his father wanted for him, he probably would have ended up a deputy manager in a provincial bank. But as it was, John was destined for greater things.

This autobiography, called A Job Well Done: Adventures in Life, Hospitality and Hotels, isn’t just about tracking John’s career path; it charts his life with all the highs and accolades alongside the turbulence and stormy seas.

This is a brutally honest and humbling read. His co-writer, Petesy Burns, has captured not only the narrative but also John’s voice. There is humour in reading about his school days in Newry and Downpatrick and the escapades to the Gaeltacht.

Unsurprisingly the book is full of tall stories and anecdotes, the highlights of an illustrious career at the hospitality gems of the Hastings Group, including the landmark Europa in Belfast and the famous Slieve Donard in Newcastle.

John D Toner had an illustrious career, mainly with the prestigious Hastings Group, but his baptism of fire started one summer when working in the Copper Grill in Newry. He was in at the deep end, and soon discovered that hospitality was where his heart lay

Reflecting his professionalism, the book isn’t a gossipy tell-tale ‘what the butler saw’ kind of story. Behind the closed doors of luxury hotel chains lies discretion and privacy about their clientele.

The recent potted history of the north in all its awfulness and hope took place under the watchful eye of the John Toner’s tenure as MD of the Europa, once the most bombed hotel in Europe.

Many individuals self-publish these days in the vainglorious attempt to make themselves sound important. This isn’t one of those. This is a very personal account, which seems in part cathartic.

Unlike others, this book is crafted with startling openness as John speaks of his testing childhood with a mother who battled alcoholism and a father who struggled with depression.

The picture painted is not recalled through rose tinted glasses. That said, he loved his parents and grew strong bonds with his siblings.

With considerable candour, John talks about tackling his own demons with alcoholism. What started out as social drinking gradually gave way to heavy bouts and sessions which threatened both his career and family life.

A Job Well Done: Adventures in Life, Hospitality and Hotels by John D Toner with Petesy Burns

John isn’t a man given to self-pity or excuses. He takes responsibility for his actions and his words demonstrate a resolve and strength of character. John comes across as a man resourced with a deep emotional well to draw upon, not least from the love of his life, his wife.

One of the nicest aspects of this autobiography are the various snippets provided by his children, siblings, closest friends and employers. They are testimonies to not just a life well lived but also to a man who is much loved.

Maya Angelou wrote: “People will often forget what you said, they may even forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Nowhere is that better exemplified than in the life of someone who has worked their way up from the bottom of the hospitality industry to being one of its captains.

Whether the guest was a President (and there were a few) or a plumber, John Toner ensured the level of service was of the same exemplary high standard. He knew people will always remember ‘how you made them feel’.

The postscript to this book reflects on the current health challenges John now faces. They are life threatening, but he brings the reader to the conclusion that it is best to meet it head on by living one day at a time, cherishing every extra minute with those you love. As the Édith Piaf classic goes, “Non, je ne regrette rien.” A job well done indeed.

A Job Well Done: Adventures in Life, Hospitality and Hotels by John D Toner with Petesy Burns is published by Burns Books, price £20 burnsbooks.co.uk