Nueva Ecija Couple Has Three Kids Who All Have Autism, 'Disorder Or No Disorder, They Are Still Fragments Of Me'

01/05/2024

One in every 100 Filipinos has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), that’s approximately 1.2 million Filipinos according to Philippine News Agency. ASD, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, is a “developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. People with ASD often have problems with social communication and interaction, and restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. People with ASD may also have different ways of learning, moving, or paying attention.”

Ausome Jose Society, a wordplay for San Jose City, is a group of San Jose parents, educators, families, and stakeholders for children/people who have ASD. Its core objective is to introduce Autism to the community and help kids with ASD co-exist with the community. San Jose City is located in Nueva Ecija.

Jose is also an acronym to represent their advocacies for children in the spectrum: JO – joint opportunity, S – service and E – education for Autism. The three butterflies in their logo represent these advocacies, juxtaposed with St. Joseph’s carpenter square, which represents the symmetrical (normal) society.

First Autism Walk held in San Jose City, Nueva Ecija

On April 21, Sunday, Ausome Jose Society mobilized its very first “Autism Walk” to advocate for Autism awareness and acceptance–to see the children beyond the spectrum. It coincides with the Autism Walk event spearheaded by the Autism Society of the Philippines. They organized the event because they want to “walk the talk,” not only sit and talk about autism and the challenges that come with it but also do something about it: to act on it. The activity, while it highlights persons with autism, is not solely intended for them, but for the entire community. The end goal is inclusivity.

The group aims to have a community where there’s love and acceptance for these individuals, a safe space away from abuse and discrimination, and a societal shelter that seeks earnestly for facilities, intervention centers, therapy centers, qualified therapists, evaluation, screening, and training for ausome parents.

Attended by varying religious, education, youth, business, and private sectors, stakeholders, local government and city officials-the first ever walk for autism in San Jose Community may well be regarded as a success.

Ausome Jose Society was born out of valor and courage of a power couple who refused to hide their family from the society’s scrutinizing eye with the intention of representing the people or children with Autism. They had to be seen and heard, while keeping faith and hope that soon enough, relevant people and intervention centers would realize that their community needs help.

Ausome Jose society | Facebook|Ausome Jose society | Facebook

Daddy Bobb says they got the perfect score: “3 out of 3”

For Daddy Bobb and Mommy Gina Pobre, despite the mood swings and anxiety, Autism has been ruled out three times for their firstborn child. Their developmental pediatrician was even more concerned with the second child who is non-verbal. Come 2021, their second born was diagnosed with autism, following the apparent symptoms for ASD, such as delayed speech, doesn’t respond when name is called, and poor eye contact. But the following year, in 2022, the eldest was diagnosed with the same condition. It took three developmental pediatricians, 2 psychiatrists and 1 psychologist to reach the diagnosis. It was more difficult this time because they don’t have the right interventions in San Jose City for their eldest.

The Pobre Family Ausome Jose society | Bobb Pobre|The Pobre Family Ausome Jose society | Bobb Pobre

Shortly thereafter, by the end of 2022, the youngest started attending toddler school and the teachers were worried enough to ask Daddy Bobb and Mommy Gina to have their child checked by a developmental pedia. At age 2, she was really advanced and had a sharp memory despite the meltdowns so they really had high hopes for their ‘bunso’. “Ito na ang genius,” they even jokingly said in the interview.

But by February 2023, their youngest child was diagnosed with Autism, too.

That’s when they realized, they really need support for their growing children to co-exist with society. They tried to look for a chapter of the Autism Society of the Philippines (ASP) in Nueva Ecija but it didn’t have one. In central Luzon, the nearest is in San Fernando, Pampanga, which is 3-4 hours away from where they live. To secure a slot and attend other therapies, they need to travel an hour to Cabanatuan.

How Ausome Jose Society started

CHLC Therapy Center, a flourishing therapy center for kids with special needs (at the time when the couple was in search for a catalyst for change) came across as an opportunity to establish an ASP chapter in Nueva Ecija. The couple met with the owner, and it turns out the owner is a member of ASP in La Union, but their members are not enough to get an accreditation from ASP.

They did try to recruit members but when asked to form a group, they’d rather not. It seems to Daddy Bobb that these parents genuinely want to have the intervention for their kids but they have not fully accepted the situation just yet.

Daddy Bobb and Mommy Gina tried to recruit friends, families, and acquaintances, when they finally decided to at least form a group, which now stands as Ausome Jose Society.

Back then, it was not easy. Around 95% said no.

But the couple were determined to get the ball rolling. Their children should be able to thrive in society as children with autism because they won’t be there to support and protect them forever. He also thinks that some intervention programs and services are not widely accessible in the provinces because special needs children has become a silent sector–families of children with autism exist but they do not come forward and be part of the demographics. There are families who still do not want to be associated with the disorder.

Ausome Jose Society is hoping that their clamor would catch the attention of philanthropists or health professionals who can help them. Aside from ABA therapy, they also need access to Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy in the city. Special education schools in San Jose City cater to physical impairments and they were hoping for special education schools that would also cater to the kids on the spectrum.

Ausome Jose Society | Facebook|Ausome Jose Society | Facebook

Through the Ausome Jose Society, they have high hopes that someone would somehow open a clinic in San Jose or at least professionals could conduct training with ausome parents so they would be equipped with activities they can share with their special needs children. They’ve heard of some developmental pediatricians going to the barrios, doing charity work, and getting children assessed–they would want those health advocates to include their city so that their special needs children will be seen and heard.

They’ve heard of kids who show symptoms of autism but parents could not send their kids to assessment/evaluation, so much so for therapy. “Makikita mo yung iba “kibin-kibin” (amorously holding hands while walking) yung anak nila sa initan, nagtitipid ng tricyle, mapa-therapy lang.”

Daddy Bobb’s message is clear: they don’t need pity.

They need to take the necessary steps to break ground for the city of San Jose.

“I can honestly say I did not blame myself or si Bobb. Actually yung mga ibang tao ang nag fi-feed ng idea, ng guilt, ng blame.

I really want to normalize, ‘Eh ano kung may autism?’ You don’t have to be embarrassed kasi it wasn’t their choice in the first place.” —Mommy Gina

The stigma remains: Moms are at fault

Daddy Bobb says, “(The) general consensus is that if something is concerning about the child, ‘kasalanan ng babae (nanay).’ Mommy Gina adds, “sasabihin baka may nainom kang gamot nung nagbubuntis ka.”

She continues, “We would often get baka kasi pareho kayong matalino ni Bobb.” And so Bobb adds, “kasi yan yung common notion: na bawal mag-asawa dalawang matalino kasi nagiging abnormal daw yung anak. But the aspect of blaming ourselves is not really coming from the inside. It’s difficult because of the people around. The people around are trying to insinuate that there is someone to blame.”

The blame game

“It’s really difficult for me because I’m a lawyer, I’m a great public speaker, I do a lot of talks and the irony of it, my children cannot talk. So, it’s a hard dilemma at first to process. It takes a lot of real manhood, kasi ang connotation natin ng manhood dito sa Pinas eh malaki ang katawan, dapat umiinom, dapat nagmumura.

At the end of the day, love still prevails, anak ko ‘yan eh. This is our family. Defect or no defect, disorder or no disorder, they are still fragments of me. Ito ‘yung for better or for worse na pinangako mo. It all boils down to your commitment (that) would somehow mitigate the difficulty of accepting their autism journey,” comments Daddy Bobb.

Ausome Jose society | Bobb Pobre|Ausome Jose society | Bobb Pobre

Mommy Gina says, “I can honestly say I did not blame myself or si Bobb. Actually yung mga ibang tao ang nag fi-feed ng idea, ng guilt, ng blame. I could say na nagalit ako, nagalit ako sa sitwasyon and it’s only now with the Ausome Jose Society, that I’m finding the purpose it happened to us. Maybe because kami yung matapang to come out and share our story, kasi yung iba kailangan pabulong ‘pag sinabing may autism yung anak nila o kasi may diperensya yung anak niya. I really want to normalize, ‘Eh ano kung may autism?’ You don’t have to be embarrassed kasi it wasn’t their choice in the first place. Gusto namin ma-push talaga beyond the awareness, na yung mga tao ma-accept nila, lalo na yung nasa spectrum din yung mga anak na okay lang na pag-usapan natin ito. Wala dapat ikakahiya.”

Daddy Bobb tells ausome parents: Educate yourself about their condition

Sometimes the best people who can understand what one goes through are the people who are going through the same journey and sifting through the same sand.

Daddy Bobb and Mommy Gina, with their kids: Chael (10), Miesha (7), and Kailey (5) Bobb Pobre

“As an ausome dad, I want to tell the ausome dads out there, I know it’s a journey that we were not prepared for and being a father is not just about creating a child. Having a child is a life-long commitment and we would not turn our backs regardless kung ano po yung anak natin. Hindi siya nakakahiya, hindi siya nakakabawas sa pagkalalaki. In fact, it strengthens who you are as a man, as a dad, that you would really stand up for your family, for your child. Dahil ‘yan ang totoong definition ng macho.”

“Life must go on. As you cope with the challenges of raising a child with autism, it’s important to educate yourself about their condition because the best way to help them is to really know them—find out their strengths and weaknesses, find out how you can further help them. Take care of yourself, too. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so don’t neglect your personal well-being. You are more than just a mom—you can still do more and be more,” Mommy Gina concluded.

Atty. Christopher Pobre, or Daddy Bobb, is a prosecutor by profession while Gina Pobre, or Mommy Gina, works as an information officer for San Jose City-LGU. The couple advocates for autism awareness and acceptance, aiming for support and inclusion of children with autism in the community. They are happy to receive help, leads for therapists and therapy centers, and people willing to train ausome parents so they can take the necessary steps for their advocacies to succeed. If you would like to extend assistance, please message their Facebook page directly: Ausome Jose Society.

Read the story of a mom about her son’s autism journey here.