Nicola Alpe: Why humour is the sexiest quality in a partner

Nicola Alpe: Why humour is the sexiest quality in a partner


Who doesn’t love a good laugh? I certainly do. There aren’t many in my circle whom I have never enjoyed a belly laugh with, that’s how important laughter is to me. I don’t expel friends if we don’t laugh together, but over time I guess we drift apart until we are acquaintances instead of those I spend more time with.

Recently a sense of humour has become sexy. Although always on the priority list of most women when they are ticking off what they are looking for in a partner especially with younger women, a sense of humour usually comes after trivialities like a particular job or height. The past weeks have highlighted how far a good sense of humour can get you, and I’m so here for it.

Let me preface this by saying that almost no one is completely void of humour. I can think of a few I’d put in that category, but it is slim and maybe they are just portrayed really badly on every news channel, but it’s about finding friends and partners who tickle your own funny bone. A sense of humour isn’t just cracking funnies like someone who has memorised a Lucky Book Club joke book. While it may be attractive to some, when anyone starts launching into scripted jokes, unless they are Jerry Seinfeld, I want none of it. Comedic timing, a witty turn of phrase, a solid imitation, the ability to tell an entertaining story; they are all facets of a sense of humour.

It’s no surprise that a sense of humour makes someone very attractive. With all the feel-good hormones that are released when we laugh it’s almost impossible to not be attracted to someone, even in a strictly platonic way, who can make you laugh. Studies say that women like men who can make them laugh. Apparently, men like women who will laugh at their jokes.

Lately a couple of funny guys have come to the fore in seemingly unexpected ways. First, we witnessed one of the most eligible women in the world start dating one of America’s funny guys. Kim Kardashian, like her or loathe her, is seriously eligible in pretty much every way and millions of people worldwide would agree.

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Even if this fling lasts about as long as Pete Davidson’s other liaisons, she has still surprised many by her first cab off the rank. But as I reflect on this very important topic, am I really surprised? Despite the family and empire that she and Kanye created together, I can’t imagine him ever letting his guard down enough to be funny. His energy strikes me as firmly on the intense side with few opportunities for the lightness of true laughter, and definitely not laughter at himself, which is always terribly amusing and shows real confidence of character.

The second surprise was Paul Rudd being crowned People’s Sexiest Man Alive. An ardent fan of his that has spanned Friends, The 40-Year Old Virgin and This Is 40, it’s no surprise to me that other people find him sexy, I’ve just been wondering what has taken them so long to come to the party. In a forum dominated by hulking pecs and smouldering, angsty stares down the lens, Rudd’s latest accolade is testament to the success of stimulating the funny bone.

A sense of humour will get you far. It will make others feel at ease. It will make you memorable. It will bring people together and will make others feel good. It’s undoubtedly one of the most important parts of any relationship.

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