Money tips for an equal marriage

Asia's Tech News Daily

MONEY TIPS FOR AN EQUAL MARRIAGE

(NYTIMES) – A year and a half of pandemic living has revealed – or reminded us of – some persistent patterns around money, gender, marriage and families. And they aren’t always pretty.

There is data showing a link between financial stress and domestic violence. And millions of women felt they had no choice but to leave paid employment to provide care for children or other family members.

Matrimony and parenting involve compromise, without question (and sometimes, seemingly, without end). But it need not be disproportionate.

There are plenty of reasons to equalise the financial decision-making in your marriage – and this goes for every couple. If you’re among the many getting married now as part of the great pandemic wedding boom, consider adding another promise: that yours will be a financially egalitarian marriage.

Here is what that might mean.

1 First, understand where the power lies

When a new household is setting a financial baseline, it is almost impossible to avoid talking about power. Sociology professor Rachel Sherman, of the New School for Social Research in New York, examined arrangements of authority in the marriages of the affluent in her book Uneasy Street. While gender and the troubling norms that can come with it in couples can play a role, she suggested that at least two additional vectors influenced the power dynamic.

The first involves the source of any household resources, including earnings, unpaid labour and inheritance. Who gets or takes credit, and for what? What privileges, if any, come with the answers to those questions?

The other is about spending styles – who has licence to do what, and when, and who decides? Confusion here can stem from having grown up in a family with a dysfunctional relationship to money.

Conflicting habits can cause real trouble. Understanding them is an important first step. “People are lucky if their partner has the same ideas that they do,” she said.

2 You’ll have to talk. A lot

Financial planners get to participate in many conversations with recently married people, and they can spot worrying patterns. One frequent issue: Only one partner speaks.

“They’ll often have a meeting with just one half of a couple,” said financial planner Marci Bair. Often, it’s the man who shows up or calls alone (or wants to), several advisers told me recently.

At Fyooz Financial Planning, that sort of exclusion or neglect isn’t allowed. Moreover, every couple meets another couple: Dan and Natalie Slagle, who jointly run the business in Rochester, Minnesota.

It can feel a bit like a double date, and, as on many dates, there are red flags. “They typically have to do with the pronouns that are used,” Mr Dan Slagle said. ” ‘You’ as opposed to ‘we’.” Mrs Natalie Slagle picked up the thread. “If they are not seeing themselves as a partnership, it’s going to be very difficult to create a successful financial plan for two people,” she said.

So consider your pronouns, and not just if you’re talking to a professional. Be a united front.

3 There should be no ‘financial spouse’

Even if you’re both present and equally engaged in any conversations about your money, many couples have just one person running the household’s finances.

“I call it the financial spouse and the non-financial spouse,” said Ms Annelise Bretthauer, a financial planner in Hillsboro, Oregon.

She’s generally not a fan of that set-up or default, in part because of what can happen when a marriage ends, either when one spouse dies or when the relationship goes sour.

4 And there’s not one right way to do it

You may be certain about the wisdom of a joint bank account and rigorous spending accountability. Or perhaps you prefer a trio of virtual piggy banks labelled Yours, Mine and Ours. Both can work.

“Whenever people ask, I say that the right way to organise your money is the way where you don’t fight about it,” said Harvard University sociology professor Alexandra Killewald.

Keeping your finances separate doesn’t prevent you or your spouse from inadvertently picking that fight.

“If you have separate accounts, how separate are they really?” asked Ms Lazetta Rainey Braxton, a financial planner in Brooklyn. “Can you spend with no judgment? However you want? Only within your shared value system?”

5 But you can budget wrong

Be wary about how you talk – or even think – about whose income is for what.

Princeton University sociology professor Viviana A. Zelizer spent years examining how couples would assign labels to the money that came in. Often, women’s earnings fell into particular patterns of allocation – for childcare, vacations or summer camps and not for, say, the mortgage.

“Somehow they were a bit different, and maybe more secondary, than the big money items,” she said. “I would tell couples to notice how powerful this is.” If you have at least one joint account – to pay for all shared expenses – perhaps no one will feel that their income is less relevant.

6 Consider the influences outside your front door

For all your efforts to have a financially equal marriage, inequality in the outside world may come through the door each night and hover over the dinner table. Ms Braxton, the financial planner in Brooklyn, encourages clients to consider the following set of possibilities and the sensitivity that is necessary to manage them in a marriage.

Perhaps you earn less, on average, because you are female. And perhaps you feel more vulnerable to job loss.

A couple of things could happen at home. You might save and invest more conservatively out of fear. Or you might spend with abandon on occasion, just to cut loose.

“People in that situation need planning to rise above what they are experiencing,” Ms Braxton said. For instance, you might build savings backstops as a “cushion” fund for softer landings or as a kind of “go to hell” account.

7 Giving up authority can give you something more

If any of the above sounds familiar, it doesn’t make you retrograde. After all, there’s a decent chance that you’ve never done marriage before. Change, however, may actually put you at ease.

Husbands who have taken on traditional financial gender roles can feel a palpable sense of relief when they are not operating solo, especially if the household finances grow more complicated over time, said Ms Bair, the financial planner who is based in San Diego. “It’s all on their shoulders,” she said. “And they know that they’re probably not fully equipped for it, either.”

Hiring professional help may bring some comfort, too, but it doesn’t obviate the need for deep conversation with your spouse.

Internet Explorer Channel Network
Asia's Tech News Daily
News Related

OTHER NEWS

One provision of the child tax credit that Democrats are fighting to make permanent may slash poverty by 19%

Mother Ladayna Jordan, left, leads her children, Alayna, Aedan, Aaliyah and Ahmier Davis, left to right, to the front door of Normont Elementary School on the first day of in ... Read more »

Things are looking up on the money side for Singaporeans: OCBC survey

SINGAPORE- After a year of pandemic-induced money struggles, Singaporeans are beginning to see a ray of hope about their financial affairs, says the third instalment of an annual survey by ... Read more »

If you don't get a 5% raise this year, you aren't necessarily taking a pay cut due to inflation. Here's why

HOUSTON, TEXAS – JUNE 09: Employees speak together at a Chipotle Mexican Grill on June 09, 2021 in Houston, Texas. Menu prices at the Chipotle Mexican Grill have risen by ... Read more »

The ‘Great Resignation' is altering the workforce dynamic — maybe for good

Sara Adamski Courtesy: Sara Adamski After the Covid-19 pandemic hit, Sara Adamski knew she had to make a job change. At the time, the 26-year-old was a cook in a ... Read more »

How to become an entrepreneur — while you're still in college

As the founder and director of two entrepreneurship-focused programs at Stevens Institute of Technology, Launchpad and iSTEM, I have overseen the creation of 12 officially incorporated enterprises, with many more on the way. It took about three years ... Read more »

From Buy Nothing to Freecycle, gifting groups help bolster budgets and build community

kate_sept2004 | E+ | Getty Images When Sherose Badruddin, 38, joined her local Buy Nothing group in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, five years ago, she did it purely to save ... Read more »

Will business travel be the same again?

(REUTERS) – The unprecedented halt to air travel during the Covid-19 pandemic cut planet-warming emissions, saved companies billions of dollars in tickets, and benefited staff who can lose weeks of ... Read more »

How to negotiate the salary for your first job offer

Getting your first job offer is exciting — joining the full-time workforce can mean a salary, benefits, and a path to financial independence.  But before jumping to accept an offer, ... Read more »

Here's what your monthly budget will look like if you retire with $750,000

There are an endless number of strategies that you can use to plan your retirement. Cashing out a set percentage of your investments every year once you retire can be ... Read more »

Ways to protect your health coverage from life's uncertainties

Manulife’s health and insurance plans, like LifeReady Plus (II), can help you plan for every stage of your life, with coverage that is customised to your needs. PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES ... Read more »

Here's the strategy this couple used to save $1.3 million and retire in their 30s

You've probably heard of “The Great Resignation” at this point. Justin McCurry was what some would call an early adopter. He and his wife planned to retire from their jobs ... Read more »

'We don't regulate euphoria,' says former SEC chairman Jay Clayton, who breaks down why social media will likely continue to influence investing

Jay Clayton speaking at the 2019 Delivering Alpha conference in New York.Adam Jeffery | CNBC Social media frenzies have encouraged retail investors to jump into meme stocks and certain cryptocurrencies, ... Read more »

Wealthy Singapore investors thinking of relocating family members: Survey

SINGAPORE – More wealthy Singapore-based investors are thinking of relocating family members either to the Republic or elsewhere than their peers in the region, according to a report out on ... Read more »

6 budget hacks to get your financial life on track

Getty Images The idea of making a budget may make your eyes glaze over. Yet it is fundamental to achieving financial wellness. “It's really hard to make any plan or ... Read more »

Envy Global's Ng Yu Zhi slapped with 18 more charges over billion-dollar nickel trading scheme

SINGAPORE – Businessman Ng Yu Zhi, who is embroiled in one of Singapore’s biggest investment fraud schemes, was slapped with 18 more charges over his role in a nickel trading ... Read more »

How billionaire Charles Munger got into properties

(BLOOMBERG) – Billionaire investor Charles Munger made a well-timed bet on suburban apartments in California – thanks to a neighbourhood teenager who showed up at his house with a Hebrew ... Read more »

Robinhood takes aim at college students

(NYTIMES) – Robinhood, the free stock-trading app with 21 million active users and counting, is about to hit the road for a college coffee house tour to drum up new ... Read more »

What has changed about the wealthy

Deck: Inheritors are shaking off the stereotype of the do-nothing trust fund kind Paul Sullivan (NYTIMES) – I began writing the Wealth Matters column in December 2008. The column was ... Read more »

Greenwashing threat grows with rise of sustainable investing

The growing threat of greenwashing in sustainable investing could result in resources and attention being diverted away from the world’s pressing sustainability needs. If you are among the growing number ... Read more »

As fears about inflation increase, here's how to protect your portfolio

Experts are sounding the alarm about inflation, and that has Americans worried about their retirement. Billionaire hedge fund manager Paul Tudor Jones told CNBC Wednesday that inflation poses a major ... Read more »

Suze Orman: Don't get a joint bank account. Here's how couples should budget their money

Money can be a sore subject in any relationship. Sharing bank accounts with your partner may make your budget issues even worse, according to Suze Orman, host of the “Women ... Read more »

The Great Resignation: Why millions of workers are quitting

Americans are leaving their jobs in droves. In August 4.3 million Americans quit their jobs. While some people have left the workforce entirely, job security and better pay are top ... Read more »

These are the top 10 retirement spots in the U.S.

Anya Berkut | Getty Images The Covid-19 pandemic has changed how many Americans view their retirement, whether it is pushing it back or starting it earlier than planned. Yet one ... Read more »

The Great Resignation may lead companies to offer employees financial wellness benefits

Pekic | E+ | Getty Images American workers are financially stressed and employers are starting to listen. Whether it is a response to the Covid-19 pandemic, the threat of losing ... Read more »

Signs of severe overpricing in key US markets

(NYTIMES) – The prices of stocks, bonds and real estate, the three major asset classes in the United States, are all extremely high. In fact, the three have never been ... Read more »

These homes are built with big 3D printers

A row of 3D printed homes in Nacajuca, Mexico. (NYTIMES) – Mr Pedro Garcia Hernandez is a carpenter in the south-eastern Mexican state of Tabasco, a rainforest-shrouded region of the ... Read more »

Retiring with $500,000: How much money you'll have in your monthly budget

Nobody wants to run out of money in retirement. Experts recommend taking up to 4% of your total nest egg annually in retirement as a way to make your funds ... Read more »

A majority of Hispanics aren't saving for retirement. Lack of financial knowledge is a factor, expert says

BraunS | E+ | Getty Images Many Hispanic Americans aren't saving enough — or at all — for retirement. More than two-third of Hispanic households aren't putting aside anything through ... Read more »

Here's how much your Social Security check will increase in 2022

Social Security beneficiaries will see a 5.9% increase to their monthly checks in 2022. That's much more than the 1.3% adjustment made for 2021, and the largest increase since a ... Read more »

3 lessons for first-time investors from a financial advisor

Individuals need to take control of their money, and while the pandemic upended the personal finances of many Americans, it also has made many more people aware of the need ... Read more »

Junior Achievement and CNBC host students to discuss sustainability, alternative energy and the health of the environment

Featuring the next generation of young leaders, CNBC and Junior Achievement explore the role of entrepreneurship, social enterprise, corporate social responsibility and the future of work while creating a more ... Read more »

Education Secretary Miguel Cardona says personal finance lessons should start as early as possible

There's a growing push for students to get personal financial education in high school. But, according to U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona, that might not be early enough. “When ... Read more »

Education Secretary Miguel Cardona on mask mandates, student loan forgiveness and financial education in elementary schools

Current Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona joins CNBC's Senior Personal Finance Correspondent Sharon Epperson to discuss his strategy on starting financial education earlier in schools, community college as a way ... Read more »

How financial empowerment helped one woman rise up from poverty

For poet and educator Jessica Helen Lopez, empowerment and financial knowledge go hand-in-hand. Lopez, who lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and was the city's poet laureate from 2014 to 2016, ... Read more »

Celebrity chef Guy Fieri: Put these 3 foods on your grocery list if you want to start cooking on a budget

Cooking at home can be an obvious choice for anyone tightening up their budget. But if you're not careful, you may find yourself cooking and eating the same dish every ... Read more »

The Straits Times Invest bags award for community investor education

SINGAPORE – Managing personal debt and building a retirement nest egg can often be complicated tasks for the man on the street to grasp, but these are some of the ... Read more »

Property no longer the best retirement investment in S'pore: DBS report

The DBS report also showed that the average property price per square foot has jumped 50 per cent since 2010. SINGAPORE – Property has long been seen as a pot ... Read more »

Banks cashing in on ESG bonds amid climate crisis

About US$750 billion worth of ESG-related bonds have been issued this year, compared with US$468 billion during all of 2020. (BLOOMBERG) – While many banks have been condemned for contributing ... Read more »

Future of work should mean working less

To limit work’s negative moral effects on people, we should set harder limits on working hours. (NYTIMES) – A dozen years ago, my friend Patricia Nordeen was an ambitious academic, ... Read more »

When frequent floods make insurance costly

A storm-damaged house at a busted levee on the beach after Hurricane Ida swept through early last month in Grand Isle, Louisiana. (NYTIMES) – Climate change is going to hit ... Read more »
On free-english-test.com you will find lots of free English exam practice materials to help you improve your English skills: grammar, listening, reading, writing, ielts, toeic