"Then we both blacked out and got into a fight and I don't actually remember what happened," says Kristen Bell of an argument with husband Dax Shepard.
The actress, 39, appeared on Life Is Short with Justin Long podcast on Tuesday to discuss how she and Shepard, 45, have fought just like every other couple — and how they made up during a recent argument.
“Something happened with Dax and I early on where we decided we were never going to not be asked about our relationship,” Bell told host and actor Justin Long. “So if we were going to talk about it, let’s make sure we show the good, the bad and the ugly and how we handle it. Let’s not make it saccharin, and we really try hard to not make it saccharin, and we talk about the fact that we do fight, we do go to therapy, we dislike each other a lot sometimes.”
The Veronica Mars star then launched into a story about the argument she had with Shepard, saying, “We had this pretty incredible fight recently. Incredible. I mean like top of the lungs screaming.”
“It was about the things around the house that I felt I needed to help with. We have a relationship where you are supposed to be able to say I need your help with this,” she continued, adding, “For those of you listening, I’m telling this from my perspective. He’s not here, he can’t defend himself.”
Bell explained she was leaving their home for work and had left a note for Shepard with information on a couple of household chores that needed to be done.
“I left a note and I was like, ‘Hey dad! Would you mind taking the two towels in the dryer and folding them’ and then like one other thing. I thought, ‘That’s 10 minutes of work, I can say that.’ At that point, the house [work] was getting to be a lot for me. The keeping up with the mom stuff, the shoes being outgrown, all of that.”
Bell continued, “So I left this note and I came home on Sunday, everything was fine. Monday night we’re laying in bed and… he goes, ‘When you leave me notes, yeah, I feel really controlled,’ and he launched into how he felt about it.”
Instead of immediately responding with anger, Bell said she took a second to respond calmly, telling Shepard, “And I said, ‘OK, I totally hear you. It will never happen again. If I need something to be done around the house what is a way I can do it, that you’d be OK with hearing?'”
But then, despite both of their initial efforts, Bell’s and Shepard’s emotions got the best of them.
“And somehow, then we both blacked out and got into a fight and I don’t actually remember what happened but what transpired was a lot of volume, a lot of harsh words being thrown around, and it was an angry, angry fight about how nobody does anything for anybody else,” Bell said. “I grabbed my pillow and stomped down the hall and I sleep in the front room and I’m crying. We don’t talk for three days.”
The couple has two daughters together, Lincoln, 6, Delta, 5, which would make not communicating a challenge, although the actress said they did speak when it came to their children’s needs.
Bell did find a way to make up with her husband when she took her daughters to a dog cafe and met a rescue dog named Frank. When she video chatted Shepard to introduce him to Frank, she told Long he was receptive to inviting another dog into their home.
“I didn’t get an apology, but I got a dog!” Bell said, explaining how surprised she was since Shepard was allergic to dogs and required hypoallergenic animals only. “This is so much better than an apology. So I bring the dog home, it’s great.”
She added, “We never talked about that fight, ever, but I will say this: Every single thing that I have needed done or thought, ‘I’d want help with this,’ since that fight, he has been ahead of. I couldn’t complain about him if I tried right now.”
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This article originally appeared on People.com