I lost 100 pounds when I became a dad

Ryan Sobers pictured before and after his weight loss – Rii Schroer

Becoming a dad was a turning point for me. Watching my daughter, just 18-months old, I couldn’t help but think about our future together. I wanted to be there for her, to run and play without the burden of being out of shape holding me back. I was 128kg; something needed to change if I wanted to be around for her as long as possible.

Growing up in Barbados and being from an Afro-Caribbean background, I’m aware of the higher risk of Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. I’ve seen family members struggle with these health issues so it’s always in the back of my mind as a reminder to take care of my health.

Over the years, I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with exercise. When I was at university in the 1990s I would go to the free weights gym with friends, and when I got my first job in London I did some weightlifting and 5×5 powerlifting. I’ve tried all sorts of diets too. Being vegan for a while helped me lose some weight but I didn’t keep it up.

The media loves to glorify excess and gluttony, especially with shows like Man v. Food. It’s not normal to eat like that but there was a time when I would do these food challenges myself, grabbing massive burgers or steaks without a second thought. I would go on holiday to the United States and be excited when I found restaurants that did outrageously giant portions. It was hard to resist.

Sobers writes that before his weight loss, he did not realise how many calories he was consuming

In 2020, Covid restrictions meant I was working from home and I fell into a sedentary routine. At my most active, all I would do was walk my daughter to and from nursery. I would drive to the supermarket and do absolutely no weight training or cardio. I found myself drawn to food delivery subscriptions, indulging in treats like gourmet hot chocolate night after night. I wasn’t into calorie counting or reading the back of boxes so I didn’t realise how many calories I was consuming.

When I finally decided that something needed to change, I started to research personal trainers and found a gym that specialised in weight training and transformations. At first, I found lots of ways to convince myself it wasn’t necessary. The cost seemed daunting and I wondered if I could achieve my goals independently. The idea of balancing workouts alongside the responsibilities of fatherhood, marriage and work also felt overwhelming.

It was my wife who pushed me to take the leap and invest in myself by getting a personal trainer. In the very first session we discussed the process and took some measurements and photos. Back then, my waist was 42-44 inches; now it’s 32 inches. They were honest that it would be a big change. I was going to have to follow a very low-carb diet with a focus on protein whilst exercising twice a week in the gym with the trainer and once on my own at home.

Prior to getting a personal trainer, Sobers says that he did no weight training or exercise

It took me a while to get to grips with the diet. My trainer opened my eyes, pointing out that even seemingly harmless meals like chilli con carne with kidney beans had too many carbs. The workouts themselves were also super challenging. I had never really trained my legs but the gym promoted German body composition training which is built around pairing upper and lower-body exercises. There would be times when my legs would be so tired by the end that I would struggle to even walk up the stairs of the gym.

It might seem crazy but one of the biggest challenges they set me was getting a minimum of 10,000 steps a day. I had become so used to my sedentary routine and often ended up walking up and down my house in the evenings to reach the 10000. Eventually, I learnt that small changes make all the difference and my average at the moment is consistently between 14-15,000 steps. I choose the stairs over the lift in the office. I often get off one stop earlier on the tube. And I will, on every occasion, walk to the shop.

When you’re pushing yourself things can go wrong. There were times when giving up crossed my mind. About six weeks in, I was exercising at home and my shoulder rotated weirdly and started to hurt. I had to see the sports chiropractor to learn exercises that would strengthen my shoulder. Then, nine months later, I got tendonitis in both my elbows. Simple tasks like pushing the buggy, opening the door and putting on my socks were excruciating. My trainer changed up my workouts to focus more on my legs. While I still deal with occasional shoulder and tendon pain, I’ve learned to manage it. Those sorts of setbacks help you to realise how resilient humans are and the power of determination.

Ryan lost 47.8kg in 58 weeks through a low-carb diet and exercise

I lost 47.8kgs in total. It was a gradual process that took about 58 weeks. I look at the whole transformation like a long car journey where the kids are going “Are we there yet?” but I wasn’t there. I knew there was more to lose and that I had to keep going. We live in a world that is all about instant gratification so there were times when I would worry that my body wasn’t changing fast enough. To enjoy the journey I had to constantly remind myself that good work is never done in a hurry.

Still working from home because of Covid restrictions and rarely socialising, the difference in my appearance was even more drastic for colleagues, friends and family members who I hadn’t been able to see. At a one-off in-person meeting, a colleague asked me my name because she didn’t recognise me. When I explained that I was Ryan and showed her a photo of me before the transformation she was gobsmacked.

‘It’s great to not only feel physically healthier but also experience mental benefits like increased focus and efficiency’ – Rii Schroer

I’ve never seriously struggled with my confidence or self-esteem, but I’m proud I’ve been able to make such positive changes and stick with them for the first time in my life. It’s great to not only feel physically healthier but also experience mental benefits like increased focus and efficiency.

What I ate before 

Sobers used to indulge in high-calories meals and huge portion sizes

Breakfast

Three to four slices of toast with avocado and green tea. A full English on weekends

Lunch

Fried chicken and chips

Dinner

Oxtail stew with rice and steamed veg

After dinner

Hot chocolate

What I eat now 

Breakfast

Two eggs, lactose-free cheese, lean protein (sliced ham, chicken breast, fish etc), tomatoes (on gym days add one to two slices of bread)

Lunch 

White fish with salad or vegetables

Sobers’s typical lunch of white fish with green veg

Afternoon snack

High-protein yogurt with granola and berries

Dinner

Chilli with bulgur wheat and steamed veg

Sobers serves his chilli with bulgar wheat and steamed veg

Drinks

One to two coffees with coconut milk (on gym days mainly tea or only one coffee if I have a pre-workout drink containing caffeine), protein shake with creatine in the evening

Exercise Before

I was pretty sedentary but I had tried weight training when I was at university and had done a few body pump and spin classes.

Exercise After

Full body resistance workouts three times a week. Plus cardio, HIIT and abs once a week.

Ryan’s three top tips

• Pack your gym bag the night before and have a good rain jacket so you can’t make up an excuse for missing a workout.
• Aim for 3L of water a day.
• Plan your food efficiently. I spent months just tracking what I ate and then by dinner realising I only had a few calories left or that I had really under-eaten during the day.

As told to Delphi Hayes

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