I am Gen Z. Men in my generation are not dating. Why should we?

All across America, marriage, sexuality and relationships are on the steady decline among young people. According to a new Pew Research study, 63% percent of men aged 18-29 report being single. That means the number of single young men is nearly twice that of single young women, indicating a large breakdown in the social, romantic, and sexual lives of American men. The big question is: Why?

One would think that making romantic connections would be easier than ever in our digital world, but the opposite is true. Our culture of convenience has paradoxically made dating more difficult for men as they are forced into a hyper-competitive, superficial environment that emphasizes instant gratification over true human connection. While there are several potential culprits causing this relationship breakdown, none have done more damage to the dating landscape than dating apps, social media and pornography.

i am gen z. men in my generation are not dating. why should we?

couple dating istock medium

Let’s start with dating apps. The advent of relationship websites started with Match.com in 1995 and evolved into the swipe-based platforms we know today with Tinder and Hinge releasing in 2012, and Bumble in 2014.


According to a survey of 6,034 adults, 53% of adults ages 18-29 have found someone to date through an app or site. However, new Census data shows that the U.S. marriage rate hit an all-time low in 2019. For every 1,000 unmarried adults, only 33 got married. This number was 35 a decade ago in 2010 and much higher at 86% in 1970. So, what gives?

It’s easier for men to date thanks to technological conveniences, yet this technology has created a counterintuitive situation leading them to have a fickle attitude toward relationships, constantly searching for the next thing instead of committing to one person.


With the abundance of choices on dating apps, young men are finding it difficult to build deeper connections with a single person due to that sense of constant availability. When a minor red flag appears in a relationship that is otherwise going smoothly, why stick around and work it out when thousands of other choices are right at your fingertips? Young men are making that calculation every day on dating apps and are siding with the latter. How can you blame them with the constant programming coming from social media?

With social media today, men can scroll through their feeds and popular pages to view more beautiful women in one sitting than most men would see in their lifetime a hundred years ago.

Social media vies for people’s attention leading women to commercialize themselves, which  gives men an unrealistic expectation of the dating pool. On social media, people are encouraged to only show their best (even if it’s fake!). With the advancements in facial recognition technology, many times men are looking at women through heavily-filtered and airbrushed lenses.

While women reap the benefit of the online attention, men are left wondering how the dating pool has gotten so far out of reach. Consequently, those same women marketing themselves as something they’re not are left without a partner wondering where all the good men have gone. Through social media, both sexes are conditioned to treat themselves as a number instead of embracing true human connection and partnership.

Maybe I’m just old-fashioned but to me, flirting face-to-face leaves a bigger impression on the potential for a relationship than reacting to girls’ Instagram Stories with the flame emoji. Coupled with the barrage of women on dating apps, the culture of constant comparison fostered by social media makes it hard for men to commit to a relationship and settle down. If that wasn’t enough, now even men’s greatest source of dating motivation has been co-opted by pornography.


There is no doubt that lust, which is carnal in nature, is the strongest driving motivation for men when it comes to dating. It sparks initial attraction and passion and draws people together. Ultimately though, lust may fade but the emotional connection typically built upon that initial sense of attraction is what can determine a relationship’s success.

Pornography, however, completely destroys this dynamic because it shifts men’s reward system to simply being carnal and physical in nature but lacking the emotional connection necessary for healthy relationships. Today, pornography is easier than ever to consume. Forty million U.S. adults regularly visit pornography websites and 10% of U.S. adults admit to having an addiction to Internet pornography.

Research shows that about 67% of 13-year-old boys have seen at least one pornographic image on some sort of digital device in the past year and by the age of 18, that number rises to 90%.

In porn, finding a “relationship” is effortless. With porn, this digital partner has nothing else to do but wait for you, please you, and give you exactly what you think you want. If this partner ever fails to keep you entertained, they can be exchanged with a single click. Why waste your time dating, flirting, and putting in effort when men can have their deepest sexual desires met online?

Today, men in their 20s are more likely than women to be romantically uninvolved, sexually dormant and friendless. Studies have shown that men are more likely to engage in risky and violent behaviors when they lack a stable relationship, leading to higher crime rates, substance abuse and social unrest. Single men may also be less invested in building strong social networks, leading to isolation and a lack of community engagement.

Simply put, the breakdown of relationships between men and women is startling and it is detrimental to a healthy society. The good news is men can fix this and the remedy is easier than we think. Leave dating apps, stop watching porn and go talk to girls in real life.

News Related


Alexa Bliss discusses eating disorder on Masked Singer US as she's unmasked as Axolotl

WWE superstar Alexa Bliss was unmasked as Axolotl on The Masked Singer US. The former Raw Women’s Champion, who revealed this week she has undergone successful treatment for skin cancer, ... Read more »

Did you think a will, a trust and power of attorney were enough? Add this one more thing to your estate plan.

Did you think a will, a trust and power of attorney were enough? Add this one more thing to your estate plan. NEXT AVENUE This article is reprinted by permission ... Read more »

Moderna stands its ground at Sanders hearing

Moderna stands its ground at Sanders hearing Moderna CEO Stéphane Bancel would not commit during a Senate hearing Wednesday to reconsidering the decision to roughly quadruple the price of his ... Read more »

2 Reasons to Buy AbbVie, and 1 Reason to Sell

2 Reasons to Buy AbbVie, and 1 Reason to Sell AbbVie (NYSE: ABBV) wowed investors last year when it outperformed the S&P 500 index. Shares of the pharmaceutical company climbed ... Read more »

I Swear by This Genius $10 Hack Flight Attendants Use to Keep Their Hands Free During Travel

It easily secured my tote bag to my rolling carry-on during my trip to Europe. Travel + Leisure / Pamela Jew Recently, I took the biggest international trip I’ve taken ... Read more »

I moved to a small town in Washington state to work remotely. My mortgage is half as much as my rent was and I see myself living here forever.

Charlie Walker enjoys going on hikes in the countryside near his new home in Washington state. Courtesy of Charlie Walker Charlie Walker, a Yelp product manager, moved from San Francisco ... Read more »

Don't Just Retire On Social Security. Supplement Your Senior Income With These Investments

Seniors who get all their monthly income from Social Security commonly struggle financially. That’s because Social Security will generally only replace about 40% of your pre-retirement earnings, and not more. ... Read more »

Today's horoscope: Free daily horoscope for Thursday, March 23, 2023

Another day, another chance to peek behind the curtain of astrology and connect with the wisdom of the universe. Let the daily horoscope on Thursday, March 23 guide you on ... Read more »

Restaurants to Open Two Hours Before Iftar

Restaurants to Open Two Hours Before Iftar The Director General of the Kuwait Municipality, Eng. Ahmad Al-Manfouhi shared that restaurants and cafes will remain closed for the fasting day during Ramadan, ... Read more »

Team Biden to TikTok's owners: Just sell it

Team Biden to TikTok’s owners: Just sell it The Biden administration has a simple response to the army of TikTok influencers who swarmed Capitol Hill yesterday: The app can stay ... Read more »

Republicans' plans to cut the budget could mean millions lost in back pay, more dangerous workplaces, and jobs sent overseas, the White House says

US President Joe Biden. Samuel Corum/Getty Images The White House is once again attacking the Freedom Caucus for its plan to cut spending. Per a fact sheet, the White House ... Read more »

Helen Mirren’s Shoes Featured the Darling but Divisive Detail That All the Cool Girls Are Wearing

Shop the look starting at $27. Getty Images The last thing I expected in 2023 was for Helen Mirren to become something of a fashion influencer. Don’t get me wrong, ... Read more »

The Only Bank Stock I'm Buying Is the 1 Warren Buffett Is Actively Selling

Since becoming CEO of Berkshire Hathaway (NYSE: BRK.A)(NYSE: BRK.B) in 1965, Warren Buffett has put on a master class for Wall Street. Over that time, Berkshire’s Class A shares (BRK.A) ... Read more »

Shaquille O’Neal gets candid about his hip replacement surgery – gives fan truthful update

Shaquille O’Neal is perhaps one of the most beloved stars the NBA has produced. His presence in pop culture has been essential since the beginning of his career. The former ... Read more »

3 Exceptionally Safe Dividend Stocks That Can Turn $400,000 Into $1 Million by 2030

The past 14 months have been a bit of a roller-coaster ride for both new and tenured investors. The Dow Jones Industrial Average, S&P 500, and Nasdaq Composite all tumbled into ... Read more »

Sorry, Not Sorry: These 6 Overrated Characters Need to Be Called Out

Sorry, Not Sorry: These 6 Overrated Characters Need to Be Called Out Everyone has at least one fictional character that they can relate to. But some well-known fictional characters don’t ... Read more »

‘I’m an 82-Year-Old Triathlete and Longevity Expert. Here’s My Top Tip for Staying Mentally and Physically Sharp’

A senior man running on the beach. Today, Joseph Maroon, MD, FACS is an 82-year-old triathlete, former neurosurgeon, longevity expert, and current member of Aviv’s Global Aging Consortium. But when ... Read more »

The Moody Blues To Our Children's Children box set to be released

null A new deluxe four CD and one Blue-ray box set of the The Moody Blues 1969 album To Our Children’s Children is to be released through UMR on May ... Read more »

The Rock's Daughter Set For In-Ring Debut At WWE NXT Stand & Deliver

Ava Backstage At A WWE NXT Show Ava, the daughter of WWE legend The Rock, will make her in-ring debut at next Saturday’s “WWE NXT” Stand & Deliver premium live ... Read more »

Harry Potter: Things That Made Dolores Umbridge Scarier Than Voldemort

Harry Potter: Things That Made Dolores Umbridge Scarier Than Voldemort Dolores Umbridge was arguably the most evil character in the Harry Potter series, sometimes more so than Lord Voldemort, mainly ... Read more »

Kaspersky releases tool for decrypting ransomware

Source code leaked last month by infighting members of the Conti gang was used to build the antidote to their attacks. Kaspersky has published a new version of a decryption ... Read more »

The 'Gilmore Girls' Costume Designer Has Just Confirmed The Father Of Rory’s Baby

The costume designer took to TikTok to end the speculation and told fans that it’s obviously Logan. If you need a reminder: Logan is Rory’s now married college boyfriend, who ... Read more »

Arkansas Gov. Signs Law Banning Transgender People From Using Bathrooms Matching Their Gender Identity In Public Schools

Topline Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders (R) signed a law on Tuesday that bans transgender people from using bathrooms that match their gender identity in public schools, the latest in ... Read more »

TikTok's Restaurant Butter Hack Makes Spreading So Much Easier

Plate of bread and butter Dining out can be a special experience on its own. After all, you get to don your finest attire, spend quality time with family and ... Read more »

Christian who escaped Chinese persecution warns US descending into 'communist-style of governance'

The leader of a watchdog group that monitors Christian persecution in China said he’s seeing echoes of the Chinese Community Party “playbook” in the U.S., and he’s worried it’ll get ... Read more »

Lollapalooza 2023: How to get tickets to the Chicago music festival

Billie Eilish and Kendrick Lamar Lollapalooza has unveiled its 2023 lineup, teasing some big acts. Headlining this year’s Chicago music festival are Billie Eilish, Kendrick Lamar, Red Hot Chili Peppers, ... Read more »

Fury vs Usyk talks break down, fight will not happen April 29

Talks for Tyson Fury vs Oleksandr Usyk have reportedly broken down Tyson Fury and Oleksandr Usyk will not be fighting, at least not on April 29, as talks have reportedly ... Read more »

Cameron Diaz's Comeback Film Halted As Cops Investigate Costar Jamie Foxx Being Targeted In Alleged Money-Grabbing Scheme

Mega Production on Cameron Diaz’s comeback film has reportedly come to a screeching halt after her costar Jamie Foxx was targeted in an alleged money-grabbing scheme, RadarOnline.com has learned. Mega ... Read more »

Why Men Fall Out Of Love (Hint: It Has Nothing To Do With Their Partners)

man and woman on date at night By Marisa Donnelly I wish love was perfect. I wish, when we fell for another person, everything just stayed the way it was ... Read more »

Insulin Price Cap Doesn't Apply to All Iowans Who Need It

Some 37.3 million Americans, or about one in 10 people, have diabetes. About one in five don’t know they have it, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. ... Read more »
Kênh kiến thức kỹ năng, phát triển bản thân, hướng nghiệp, blog nhân sự