If you’re close friends with someone, it can be hard to tell whether they’re interested in a romantic relationship with you or if they’d rather just stay friends. If you’re trying to tell if your best guy friend likes you, try looking for signs of affection or changes in your relationship that might be an indication of his feelings.
Part 1 of 3: Spotting Signs of Affection
Watch for bashfulness. In romantic movies, male leads are often men of fiery passion and debonair confidence. In real life, guys are often shy, nervous, and self-doubting – just like everyone else! If you suspect your guy friend has a crush on you, looking for the tell-tale signs and bashful shyness would be a great place to start. Does your friend seem ever-so-slightly nervous in your company? Does his laugh seem forced or unnatural? Does he seem to make an effort to perpetually laugh and smile around you, even when nothing particularly amusing is happening? These are signs that your friend is worried about what you think about him!
- Here are a few other things to look for:
- Slight awkwardness in conversation
- A slight reluctance or hesitation when saying “goodbye”
Look for suspicious eye contact. People with hardcore crushes have a hard time taking their eyes off of the person their heart is set on. Does your guy friend seem to look you in the eyes more than normal conversation requires? Does he always smile when he sees you looking back? The eyes are said to be the window to the soul – even if your guy friend is too shy to admit his affection, his eyes may give away everything.
- People who can’t take their eyes off of their crush usually realize it just an instant too late. If you catch your guy friend staring at you and he seems embarrassed or pretends to look away, you may have just caught him in a moment of heartfelt longing!
Look for adoring body language. A hidden crush can often have a noticeable effect on a guy’s thoughts and behavior, subtly and unconsciously changing the way he uses his body. Does your guy friend’s body language seem to imply that he’s giving you his full, complete attention, whether the situation calls for it or not? In other words, does he make a point to turn and face you when he speaks to you? Does he seem to “straighten up” when he notices you? Does he draw his shoulders back or use an arm to prop himself up on a nearby wall when he talks to you? This body language may be betraying secret feelings of affection.
Take note of “accidental” touching. This is one of the oldest tricks in the book! Many guys with crushes will pounce on any chance to touch the girl of their affections. They’ll be extra-generous with hugs, they’ll always be the person to hand you something you can’t reach, they’ll “accidentally” bump into you while walking, and so on. If your guy friend suddenly seems to be a little more “touchy” than usual, you can be fairly certain he has feelings he’s not letting on.
- Sometimes, smitten guys will actually go as far as to contrive situations where they’ll have to touch you. If your guy friend, for instance, seems to become extra clumsy around you and develop a habit of dropping things, pay attention to what happens when you pick them up and hand them to him – does he subtly brush your hand?
See whether he makes an effort to be either around you or away from you. Guy friends who secretly adore their female friend usually want to be around her as much as they can. Most of the time, guy friends harboring a secret crush will (consciously or not) gravitate towards her – standing next to her at social occasions, sitting next to her at meals, etc. Sometimes, however, a guy can be especially shy. In this case, even though he longs for his friend, her presence makes him so nervous that he’ll actually find ways not to be next to her. Subtly pay attention to your guy friend’s habits – if he seems to end up either right next to you or far away from you whenever you hang out in a group of people, you’ll know something is up.
Part 2 of 3: Analyzing Your Relationship
See whether he makes hanging out a special priority. If your guy friend likes you, hanging out with you will become one of his favorite things to do. He’ll want to hang out with you as much as he can and will sometimes even cancel his other plans to be able to do so. If your guy friend suddenly seems to be contacting you to see what you’re up to and find out whether you’re busy every day, you may be dealing with a lovesick guy pal.
Pay attention to the things you talk about together. Guys with big crushes on their lady friends will sometimes very subtly allude to their feelings in conversation. They do this in a number of ways. Some try to steer the conversation toward romantic topics, asking questions about who their female friend likes and whether she’s looking for someone. Others will want to talk about the practice of dating itself, for instance, joking about how ridiculous most couples seem to be. Keep track of the types of conversations you have with your guy friend – if they mostly seem to be about romance or dating, even if he makes no indication that he’s interested in dating you specifically, this may be his way of signalling his interest.
- There’s an obvious exception to this rule. If your guy friend involves you in his love life by asking you for advice with other girls, it’s usually a sign that he thinks of you as a non-romantic friend.
Look out for flirting. Some guys are less shy than others. Especially confident guys may even enjoy openly flirting with you. If your guy friend has developed a habit of playfully teasing you, making silly innuendos, or seems to enjoy scandalizing you, this shows that, at the very least, he’s thought about you as more than a friend.
- Realize that a guy’s intentions can be somewhat vague when he flirts. Many guys have a habit of flirting, then playing their flirtation off as a joke if their advances aren’t immediately reciprocated. Still others flat out use flirtation and innuendo as a form of goofing off. Persistent, repeated flirtation, however, is almost always a sign of something more.
Know a “fake date” when it happens. Guys who wish they were dating their gal friend sometimes recreate the atmosphere of a date when they’re hanging out with her. Keep an eye out for this – when you meet your guy friend for a friendly meal, does he seem a little more “formal” than usual? For instance, if he’s normally vulgar and loud-mouthed, does he become quieter and more reserved? Does he develop good manners out of nowhere? Does he insist on paying for you? If so, your guy friend may be taking you on a “fake date” in an attempt to make the real thing a possibility.
- Also, pay attention to where he takes you and how he dresses. If he takes you to fancier, “nicer” places than you’d normally go to while hanging out and he “cleans up” his appearance, you’ll know you’re on a fake date.
Note how he treats other girls. This is one of the most important things to look for when trying to figure out whether a guy friend is into you, but it’s something that’s often overlooked. If you think your guy friend is being especially affectionate with you, before jumping to conclusions, pay attention to the way he interacts with other girls. If he acts the same way around other girls that he does around you, you may be dealing with natural flirt or extrovert, rather than a secret admirer.
- Listen when your guy friend talks to you about other girls. As noted above, if he openly asks you for advice on how to attract and win over other girls, he probably doesn’t see you as anything more than a friend. However, if he seems unsatisfied with other girls, complaining about how he just can’t seem to find the right person, this may be his way of hinting that he’s interested in you.
Part 3 of 3: Asking Others
Ask friends. Finding out whether your guy friend likes you or not doesn’t have to be guesswork – one great way to cut right to the heart of the matter is to simply ask someone who’s close to him! Most groups of guy friends talk about their crushes with each other. If your guy friend has a crush on you, there’s a good chance that one or more of his friends know about it.
- If you can, you may want to find a mutual friend – someone who’s close to both you and your guy friend. Not only can this person give you helpful advice and help you plan your next steps, but, since s/he is (hopefully) loyal to you, s/he’s less likely to let your secret slip.
- On the other hand, asking someone who’s friends with your guy friend and not with you can be riskier. There’s a good chance with this option that the person you ask will tell your guy friend that you asked about him. This can work in your favor if you want your guy friend to know that you’re also interested in him, but, if you don’t, it can backfire.
Ask your guy friend! If you’re really confident, the simplest, most direct way to figure out if he likes you is just to ask him to his face. This can be awfully nerve-wracking, but, usually, the temporary stress of speaking openly about your feelings is worth the closure of knowing for sure whether your guy friend likes you or not. When you ask your guy friend whether he likes you, be sure that you’re in a private place, as most guys will be too shy to talk about their feelings in front of other people.
- Some guys, unfortunately, are also too shy to talk about their feelings in front of you. If you ask your guy friend directly whether he likes you or not and he says no, but he keeps flirting with you and being affectionate, you may have encountered a guy who’s too shy to admit his true feelings to anyone. There’s not much you can do in this case. Simply live your life and do what you want to do and eventually, this guy either will or won’t gain some confidence.
If it turns out that you both like each other, ask him out! If you find out that your guy friend likes you from one of his friends or from your guy friend himself and you know that you like him back, you have no reason not to ask him out. This will probably naturally happen anyway once you both know that you like each other. Enjoy your first date – since you’re already friends, you’ll be able to skip the awkward small talk and enjoy your time together as a new couple!
- In our society, there’s an unspoken stereotype that guys are supposed to ask girls out and not vice versa. If your guy friend likes you but is too shy to ask you out, don’t be afraid to completely ignore this outdated tradition! There’s no reason that you should wait to be happy until you’re asked out in the “proper” way, especially when the “proper” way is a relic of an earlier, more formal time.
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- He might just be friendly…don’t take that the wrong way it could end up in a bad situation. if you can’t read the signs confront him about it before you lose the friendship! He could just be trying to be a good friend. But don’t let that discourage you! Thanks! Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0