Method 1 of 10: Acknowledge your feelings.
- For instance, you might think, “I’m starting to develop feelings for Nadia. She’s so funny and charismatic.”
Method 2 of 10: Keep things professional.
- For instance, you might start a relationship with someone outside of your work and your feelings for your boss will fade.
Method 3 of 10: Minimize contact with your boss.Give yourself space at work to get over them. This can be hard if you work with a small staff and you see your boss frequently during the day, but try to stay away from them. Don’t drop by their office to chat or hang out in the breakroom if they’re in there. If it’s not possible to do this, keep your interactions really brief.
- For example, if a group of you are going out after work and you know your boss will be there, make up an excuse not to go.
Method 4 of 10: Ignore your boss on social media.Unfollow them and stop checking their posts. Sure, it’s tempting to check and see what your boss does in their free time, but this can lead to obsessing over them or fantasizing about involving yourself in their life. To make it easier on yourself, don’t follow them online, send them messages, or like their content.
- It’s really easy to send flirty messages on social media so remove this temptation and don’t interact virtually.
Method 5 of 10: Remind yourself of the consequences.Think of all the problems that a relationship could cause. Dating your boss might be something you’re fantasizing about, but being realistic can throw cold water on your passion. To separate fantasy from reality, run through the consequences of dating your boss. You could lose your job or the respect of your co-workers. Colleagues might treat you differently or resent you. Plus, if the relationship doesn’t work out, they’ll probably still be your boss.
- If you or your boss is married, consider if a relationship is worth a breakup, especially if either of you has kids.
Method 6 of 10: Distract yourself.Focus on your work or pick up a new skill. If you can’t stop thinking about your boss, do something that’s mentally challenging. This might mean throwing yourself into a big work project, taking a class, or volunteering. It’s also a great chance to catch up on tasks you’ve been putting off.
- Distractions can be fun! Sign up for a class that you’ve always wanted to take or join a fitness group. Make plans to travel or read books you’ve put off.
Method 7 of 10: Meet new people.
- You can hang out with old friends, too! The point is to get social and spend time not thinking about your boss.
Method 8 of 10: Confide in a friend.
- Don’t get offended if your friend is harsh or really straightforward. Remember, they care about you and don’t want you to jeopardize your career.
Method 9 of 10: Avoid talking about your boss with your co-workers.
- It’s fine to let your co-workers know that you’re interested in starting a relationship—just don’t tell them you like the boss.
Method 10 of 10: Talk with a counselor or therapist.
Reach out to a mental health professional if you’re still obsessing. If you’ve tried to get over your feelings but they’re getting stronger and affecting your life, talk to a professional. They may be able to help you see why you’re fixating on your boss. It might be that you’re attracted to specific qualities they have and if you realize this, you can look for those traits in another person.
- Although it’s drastic, you might consider looking for a new job if you really don’t think you can comfortably work around your boss anymore.