Halfway through our date, I found out he'd been in jail for stalking

In the small Montana town where I used to live, there was about one degree of separation between most people.

That means it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t know someone you know, which makes the dating pool quite shallow.

So when I hit the dating apps in 2015, I knew I’d have to weed through my friends’ exes, plus all the guys who self-described as ‘nonsmokers and social drinkers’, though their barroom habits indicated a different story.

Joss* brought my swiping finger to a standstill. He had classic good looks — think a young Robert Redford — and was so clean-cut I could almost smell the soap through the screen.

I didn’t recognise him and suspected he was new to town. I located him on Facebook, and we had a handful of friends in common, but most of them I’d consider acquaintances at best.

At the same time, there was a ruggedness about him, too. He was outdoorsy, and his pictures showed him skiing, sitting around a campfire, or harvesting vegetables from his garden.

We started messaging about our work and hobbies, and I immediately noticed he was clever and articulate. We agreed to meet for a beer and chose a popular happy hour spot near where I worked.

halfway through our date, i found out he'd been in jail for stalking

It sounds awful, but I knew I couldn’t be seen with Joss in a busy place (Picture: Jaime Stathis)

Earlier in the day, we exchanged phone numbers on the app and agreed on 7pm. We said that we’d meet out front to avoid that awkward moment inherent to most first dates where you’re searching a crowd for each other.

When I arrived, I discovered the bar was hosting a fundraiser, so the place was packed and loud. I saw many of my friends through the windows and decided it wouldn’t be a good spot to have a getting-to-know-you conversation.

I was still determining which direction Joss would be coming from, but then I saw him inside, working his way through the crowd to come meet me outside.

In some of his photos on the app, he wore a red fleece, which he was wearing the night we met. But now — like Joss himself — the jacket looked a bit worse for wear, as well as ratty and full of burn holes.

In addition, Joss’s short, sun-bleached blond hair had grown to his shoulders and was shapeless, greasy and the colour of dishwater. His handsome face was recognisable, though his cheeks were sunken and were a terrible colour. He was not the vibrant outdoorsman I’d seen in the photos.

It sounds awful, but I knew I couldn’t be seen with Joss in a busy place, filled with my friends — plus, it was already clear that we weren’t a match — but I wanted to be polite, so after we met, I said hello, and suggested a dive bar a block over.

He told me that his location was monitored by law enforcement. My heart stopped

We each ordered a beer, and he attacked a basket of peanuts like he hadn’t eaten all day. He was thinner than I’d expected — almost gaunt — and although he was recognisable, he had the heartbreaking look of neglect.

He looked and smelled dirty. At one point, I wondered if he was homeless.

I was wearing a nice dress from work and had even refreshed my mascara. I wanted to laugh, and cry at the same time.

Truthfully, I really just wanted to get home to my dog.

I thought of the good conversation we’d had while messaging on the app, but Joss seemed disoriented and not like the confident person he’d portrayed himself to be.

Joss kept scooting closer to me, too, and I kept scooting away. He touched my knee, and I removed it. He didn’t take the hint.

‘I like you,’ he said, leaning in, possibly for a kiss though I didn’t want to take any chances, as I leaned back.

Then, he added: ‘I want to show you something before we go any further.’

halfway through our date, i found out he'd been in jail for stalking

It was one of those ‘black out’ moments where I don’t remember if additional words were exchanged (Picture: Jaime Stathis)

I didn’t have a chance to tell him we weren’t going beyond the next 10 minutes before he rolled up his trouser leg and showed me that he was wearing a GPS-tracking anklet.

‘Oh my god,’ I said, nearly falling off my stool. I looked at my beer, which was still more than half-full. I knew I should put money on the bar and walk out, but I’m a sucker for a good story.

I discovered that Joss had impregnated a woman I knew casually — or at least that’s the story he told me. She didn’t want him in the baby’s life, but he didn’t take no for an answer and was arrested and thrown in jail for stalking.

Now, he was out, but told me that his location was monitored by law enforcement. My heart stopped.

Honestly, it was one of those ‘black out’ moments where I don’t remember if additional words were exchanged, but I definitely knew that it was time to go.

He was on a date with me, while wearing a GPS anklet for stalking another woman – I certainly didn’t feel obligated to explain, or stop to listen to, anything…

I didn’t need any additional information. I couldn’t get the cash out of my wallet and into the bartender’s hand fast enough.

A few months later, I came around a corner at a busy craft fair and was face-to-face with Joss. I hadn’t planned the moment, but I instinctively knew what to do: I looked away and kept moving.

*Names have been changed

So, How Did It Go?

So, How Did It Go? is a weekly Metro.co.uk series that will make you cringe with second-hand embarrassment or ooze with jealousy as people share their worst and best date stories.

Want to spill the beans about your own awkward encounter or love story? Contact [email protected]

Get your regular dose of need-to-know lifestyle news and features by signing up Metro’s The Fix newsletter

News Related


Mairead McGuinness not in favour of a farmers' party but says 'without them we won't eat'

Mairead McGuinness MAIREAD MCGUINNESS HAS said she does not think there should be a farmers’ political party in Ireland. The EU Commissioner for Financial Stability, Financial Services and the Capital ... Read more »

'It's still not really that real': Nicola Roberts still in denial over Sarah Harding's death

‘It’s still not really that real’: Nicola Roberts still in denial over Sarah Harding’s death Nicola Roberts has admitted Sarah Harding’s death still doesn’t feel “real”. The 37-year-old singer’s Girls ... Read more »

Katie McCabe – Aviva Stadium dream date cannot be a once off

Katie McCabe is relishing the Aviva Stadium clash. Ireland captain Katie McCabe has vowed that tomorrow’s showpiece international against Northern Ireland at the Aviva Stadium (1pm) will be the first ... Read more »

Man pleads not guilty in Dublin Airport drone case

A no drone zone sign at Dublin Airport A SECOND MAN has pleaded not guilty and will face a Circuit Court jury trial accused of unlawfully using a drone that ... Read more »

Major retailer among successful bidders as Colman Doyle’s Wexford properties sell at auction

With the buildings having sat idle for over three years, there was significant interest as a large chunk of Wexford’s South Main Street went under the hammer at a public ... Read more »

‘World Cups are a different story’ – South Africa assistant challenges Ireland to beat Boks on neutral ground

South Africa head coach Jacques Nienaber, left, with forwards Jasper Wiese, Eben Etzebeth, Jean Kleyn and Franco Mostert during the captain’s run at the Stade de France. Photo by Brendan ... Read more »

All roads lead to the continent after Louth boxer Grace Conway’s All-Ireland triumph

DECORATED Tredagh Boxing Academy teenager Grace Conway could fight on the world stage later this year after gaining a convincing victory in her final at the recent All-Ireland Senior Cadet ... Read more »

F1 teams concerned by Las Vegas tyre temperatures

Both Friday’s qualifying and Saturday’s race will start at 10pm Nevada time, with the latter potentially running until after midnight if there is a red flag delay and restart. Records ... Read more »

Wicklow boutique forced to close after collapse of neighbouring building

A luxury women’s fashion boutique on Arklow’s Lower Main Street has been forced to shut its doors on Friday after the collapse of a neighbouring building took part of the ... Read more »

Film lovers get themselves in gear for Audi's mystery movie night at the Stella Cinema

Movie buffs got themselves out to the Stella Cinema in Rathmines for a mystery movie night to celebrate their media-first partnership with car manufacturer Audi. Irish celebs came out in ... Read more »

ICYMI: The top stories getting Sligo talking this week

There was lots going on around the county this week. Here’s a round-up of the most engaging news stories that captured the attention of Sligo people this week. Sligo man ... Read more »

Gordon Ramsay reflects on 'trauma' of son Rocky's death ahead of poignant anniversary

Gordon Ramsay has opened up about the death of his beloved son, Rocky, after his wife Tana suffered a miscarriage five months into her pregnancy. The British chef described the ... Read more »

Time to get matching! Dunnes drop candy cane pajamas for all the family

Some might not like to hear the ‘C’ word this early into Autumn but when Dunnes announced their new set of PJs for this festive season we just couldn’t resist. ... Read more »

Bakhurst says RTÉ has given TDs all documents it 'legally can' in dispute over contract disclosures

RTÉ HAS REFUSED to give a powerful committee contractual details of three former executives. Public Accounts Committee chairman Brian Stanley has said that committee members received a number of documents ... Read more »

Amazon Prime Video to introduce adverts to UK streaming platform in 2024

Amazon’s Prime Video is set to introduce adverts on its TV programmes and films as it follows in the footsteps of rival streaming giants. UK Prime subscribers are expected to ... Read more »

Louth TD confirms new post office to open on Magdalene Street

Local TD Ged Nash has confirmed that a new sub Post Office will open shortly on Magdalene Street. The Labour TD he is delighted to have been able to facilitate ... Read more »

'I think we present a big physical challenge' - Paul O'Connell

AS PAUL O’CONNELL furrows his brow and leans forward to fully listen to the questions coming his way, the thought strikes you that he could never have really stepped away ... Read more »

Ukrainian forces ‘smash through Russian front line’ in counteroffensive breakthrough

Ukrainian tanks appeared to have broken through Russia’s final line of defence in western Zaporizhzhia, signalling a major breakthrough for Kyiv’s counteroffensive. A report published by the Institute for the ... Read more »

Carjacker kills woman by zip-tying her throat - before leaving eerie note

A carjacker killed a woman by zip-tying her throat – before leaving behind an eerie note apologising for the horrific killing. Suspect Reese Miller, 24, was caught driving a blue ... Read more »

Susanna Reid replaced on GMB again as she continues to struggle after the NTAs

Susanna Reid has apologised to her followers as she revealed that she would not be presenting Good Morning Britain again on Monday as she continues to recover from an illness. ... Read more »

Meghan Markle's unprecedented pre-royal interview 'left Palace furious'

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have always done things their way when it comes to their relationship, ripping up the royal rule book at every twist and turn. While many ... Read more »

Thousands of local authority workers begin industrial action today

FÓRSA TRADE UNION members working in local authorities are beginning industrial action today. The union, which represents over 12,000 local authority workers, said that the decision to take action comes ... Read more »

Mother-of-one (48) is jailed for 506th conviction after stealing handbag from coffee shop

A serial thief with 505 prior convictions who stole from a woman’s handbag in a coffee shop has been jailed for four months. Mother-of-one Catherine Lambert (48) clocked up her ... Read more »

Tony Ward: If Johnny Sexton stays in this form and injury-free, Ireland will give World Cup one hell of a rattle

Johnny Sexton holds his hand after picking up a knock when scoring his first-half try Think back to those schooldays, to that dreaded final public exam, and this in a ... Read more »

Postcard from the TGV: An odyssey of a World Cup weekend

THE SUN IS rising to the right of the train as we speed past Lyon and on towards Paris. Another lovely day is upon France although, mercifully, it’s set to ... Read more »

Kingspan said to make rebuffed proposal for tie-up with Carlisle

Kingspan Group Plc made an informal approach to combine with American firm Carlisle Cos., which rebuffed the move to build a global building materials giant, people familiar with the matter ... Read more »

Americans look back on 9/11 and remember the victims on 22nd anniversary

A man leans on parapet surrounding the South reflecting pool of World Trade Center 9 11 Memorial. AMERICANS ARE LOOKING back on the horror and legacy of September 11, gathering ... Read more »

Ukraine LIVE: Russia to send ‘thousands of zombies' to fight in Putin's war of ‘madness'

Putin is increasing its professional soldier pool, according to the British MoD Russia intends to recruit more than a hundred thousand professional recruits and prisoners to “avoid further unpopular mobilisations”, ... Read more »

NFL Fans Are Praying For Family Of Legendary Giants Star

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. – DECEMBER 14: Quarterback Phil Simms #11 of the New York Giants huddles with the offense, including wide receiver Stacy Robinson #81 and tight end Mark Bavaro ... Read more »

Jimmy Nesbitt reveals Late Late Show date with Patrick Kielty as he tips Irish rugby team for World Cup success

Jimmy Nesbitt has revealed he will appear on the Late Late Show this month — with the actor currently in Northern Ireland training for a gruelling endurance challenge in aid ... Read more »
Kênh kiến thức kỹ năng, phát triển bản thân, hướng nghiệp, blog nhân sự