I'm a widow who sold everything to move from Texas to Lake Como. I decided long ago that I wouldn't let fear dictate my life.

Judy Walling moved to Como in September. Courtesy of Judy Walling

• Judy Walling visited Europe for the first time in 2012 and returned whenever she could.
• After a few trips to Italy, she decided to move there full time. She now has an apartment in Como.
• She loves the slower pace of life and the lower cost of living, but she says dating is challenging.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Judy Walling, a 68-year-old retired real-estate agent living in Italy. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I grew up in a town of 1,000 people in Iowa. My dad owned the grocery store there. I always knew it wasn’t the life I wanted.

I moved to Kansas City at 21 to work for an airline. I met my husband, Bill Walling, there. We were married for 24 years before he died in 2010 of kidney cancer. He liked road trips to Captiva Island in Florida and Santa Fe, New Mexico, but he never wanted to go to Europe.

The first time I went overseas was in 2012 with my cousin, who took a group of people to France for 10 days and invited me along. I fell in love with Europe.

By 2019, I was living alone in Austin and had the bug to return to Europe for a longer trip. I’m a retired widow with no children, but I decided long ago that I wouldn’t miss out on anything just because I don’t have a partner.

I booked another group trip to Italy and then bought a Eurail pass

Walling. Courtesy of Judy Walling

I was a real-estate agent for 30 years, and in that industry, I felt like I needed flashy things to make people want to work with me. Once I retired, I sold my diamond jewelry and my Mercedes SUV so I could travel more. I learned after my husband died that it’s all just stuff anyway.

I took a group trip to Italy in August 2019 with 10 people and took side trips to get my feet wet. I decided that since I paid to get there, I might as well make the most of it, so I bought a 90-day Eurail pass for $999.

After the group trip, I took my pass and traveled all over Italy. Then I went to Oktoberfest in Munich and Svinná in the Czech Republic, where my grandmother’s family was from.

I’m a cradle Catholic, so my favorite part of that trip was going to the weekly greeting by the pope at the Vatican. I was in the front row, and the pope passed me twice. People were crying, but I couldn’t even cry. My mouth dropped wide open. I still get choked up thinking about it.

I returned from that trip in December 2019. Of all the places I visited, I loved Bellagio on Lake Como the most. The people were so friendly.

After recovering from a hip replacement, I planned a second trip, this time for three months (the longest I could be there legally). I rented an apartment in the heart of the city from May to July 2022.

I resolved to stay longer in one place

On the second trip, my landlady and her husband treated me like family — they’d include me in big family dinners, and I became their gardener. I wanted to act like I lived there full time, so I joined a gym.

I love to shop, so I got to know everyone by walking around. Even though I didn’t speak Italian — and still barely do — I would walk around and smile, saying “Ciao, buongiorno.” I loved every minute. I thought about staying permanently, but it seemed scary at the time.

When I returned to Texas, I was so dissatisfied that I spent the next summer in Costa Rica, but it wasn’t for me. I was bored, and all the friends I made were Americans. I was still in touch with my friends from Bellagio, who encouraged me to come back. I moved to Italy last September.

This time, I found an apartment in Como rather than Bellagio because it’s dead there in the offseason. My place is small, with two bedrooms, a living room, a dining area, and a bathroom. I pay 1,200 euros a month in rent.

My budget is so much healthier here than in the US. Not having a car saves me a lot of money. My utilities only run around 200 euros a month, and groceries are much cheaper here.

I love everything about life here

Walling in Italy. Courtesy of Judy Walling

I am way more relaxed here, and my day-to-day life is amazing. After my husband died, I was on antidepressants and antianxiety medicine. I’m already off the antianxiety pills and on half of the antidepressant dose. I want to wean off it completely.

Life is much slower-paced, and people actually relax. I go downstairs to have my morning cappuccino and talk to people. The women at the café below me say I remind them of Julia Roberts in “Eat Pray Love.”

I wasn’t good at dating in my 20s, and in my 60s, it’s been 10 times worse

I’d love to have someone in my life to share all these wonderful adventures, but they better be able to keep up with me. I finally put myself out there and joined a dating app this year, but my first date happened to be married. Ugh.

During my time in Bellagio, there was a gentleman I kept running into. One day, he pulled up in his car and asked if he could take me to dinner. He was a very handsome oral surgeon, and we dated for a month and then kept in contact for 10 months.

Ultimately, he was afraid of commitment, but he took me to out-of-the-way restaurants tourists would never find, and he had a pool and a pet wolf, which was interesting.

This part of Italy will be my forever home

I’ve secured a residency visa. I can’t even believe this is my life.

I miss my old life very little. I was a bit of a fashionista back in Texas and had about 10 pairs of cowboy boots, but I left them all behind. It’s funny to see cowboy boots for sale in so many stores here.

The only family I left behind are my aunt and uncle, who are in their 90s and live in Missouri. My aunt told me she’s proud of me for living my dream.