Dialogue over diatribe –How to navigate discord in the workplace

‘We’re just a couple of weeks away from graduation day,” my friend, who is an administrator at New York University was saying to me, “and so far, we still are planning to hold ceremonies at Radio City Music Hall and Yankee Stadium as scheduled, but if the protests become disruptive and dangerous, we may need to cancel.

We’re going day by day”.

Of course, we were discussing the volatile atmosphere at NYU and other college campuses across the US amid student protests over the war in Gaza.

The University of Southern California (USC) has cancelled its ceremony and other universities are struggling to maintain order and ensure the safety of students and staff.

Our conversation delved deep into the complexities of navigating contentious issues in the workplace.

While hopefully not as dramatic and dangerous as the images of police arresting demonstrators in the US, there is an ongoing need for team leaders to demonstrate how to deliver constructive discourse amid discord in the workplace.

Here are five key lessons gleaned from our conversation, contrasting what not to do with what you should try to do the next time you find yourself in disagreement.

Monologue vs open dialogue

What not to do: In moments of crisis, the temptation to assert authority and dictate the narrative can be strong.

However, monopolising conversations with monologues stifles genuine dialogue and alienates those with differing viewpoints.

What to do: Encourage open dialogue by creating space for diverse voices to be heard.

Actively listen to perspectives that may differ from your own, fostering an environment where mutual respect and understanding can thrive.

Personal attacks vs constructive critique

What not to do: During heated discussions, emotions can run high, leading to personal attacks or ad hominem arguments (ad hominem is Latin and essentially means “aimed at the man”).

This approach usually refers to when you attack the person, not the problem.

You won’t be surprised to read that the outcome of resorting to these tactics only serves to escalate tensions and erodes trust.

What to do: Instead, practise constructive critique by focusing on ideas rather than individuals. Offer feedback in a respectful manner, highlighting areas of agreement before addressing points of contention.

Polarisation vs seeking common ground

What not to do: When faced with opposing viewpoints, it’s easy to retreat into echo chambers and entrench yourself in the depths of your ideological divides.

However, this polarisation also prevents progress and perpetuates the conflict.

What to do: Seek common ground by acknowledging the validity of someone else’s different perspective.

You don’t have to agree but you can seek to understand. Embrace nuance, recognising that solutions often lie in the grey areas between extremes.

Confirmation bias vs intellectual curiosity

What not to do: Don’t fall prey to confirmation bias.

When you only read or listen to information that reaffirms your existing beliefs, you close yourself off from alternative viewpoints.

What to do: Cultivate your intellectual curiosity by actively seeking out diverse perspectives and challenging your own assumptions.

Engage in critical thinking and be open to changing perspectives based on new information.

You may not fully move to the other side, but you might take a tiny step.

Stonewalling vs active engagement

What not to do: In the face of disagreement, the temptation to shut down conversations or dismiss opposing viewpoints can be strong. Have you experienced that “leader” who abruptly ends someone’s presentation?

Stonewalling just creates walls. What to do: Practise active engagement by holding your tongue. Ask questions and ask more questions.

These approaches require focus and practice. They often run counter to our emotional instincts.

But they’re worth the effort as we leaders play a pivotal role in setting the tone for constructive discourse within our teams.

When we lead by example and demonstrate a commitment to respectful communication, each of us can inspire others to engage in meaningful dialogue and exchange ideas openly.

Encouraging diversity of thought and embracing differing perspectives can lead to richer, more robust decision-making processes at the meeting tables or virtual screens, ultimately driving organisational success.

If you don’t currently have these approaches embedded in your organisation, I encourage you to invest in an external training and development programme focused on communication skills to skill up and empower employees at all levels on how to navigate difficult conversations effectively.

People are not simply born with the understanding and ability to enter into constructive dialogue.

And in today’s fast-paced and increasingly stressful business world, these skills are critical.

While the outside world remains uncertain and often volatile, I am convinced that, together, we can create workplaces that are not only more productive and innovative but also more inclusive and resilient in the face of adversity.

If we hope to truly build a brighter future for ourselves and our children and grandchildren please remember that it is only through dialogue rooted in respect and empathy, that we will truly effect positive change.

It’s a delicate balance to uphold principles of free speech and provide space for peaceful protests while also ensuring everyone feels safe and respected.

It’s one that chooses dialogue over diatribe. Every time.

You can write to Gina care of [email protected]

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