Enough with the ‘superwoman’ tag, just share the load

Enough with the ‘superwoman’ tag, just share the load

Thirukkural with the Times explores real-world lessons from the classic Tamil text ‘Thirukkural’. Written by Tamil poet and philosopher Thiruvalluvar, the Kural consists of 1,330 short couplets of seven words each. This text is divided into three books with teachings on virtue, wealth, and love and is considered one of the great works ever on ethics and morality. The Kural has influenced scholars and leaders across social, political, and philosophical spheres.

Motivational speaker, author and diversity champion Bharathi Bhaskar explores the masterpiece.

As International Women’s Day preparations start, here is something all women should remember. There will be stories of ‘super wives’ and ‘supermoms’, the ones who “manage everything so well”, with clean houses where all the cockroaches are killed, with children who excel in studies even as they rustle up tasty food. Of women who look beautiful, skin glowing, hair flowing, and nails glistening and who also happen to excellent at work, as scientists, journalists, teachers or doctors. They wear white coats and certify toothpastes, soaps and hand sanitisers!

On this Women’s Day, I tell myself and every other woman – yes, you are a woman, but primarily, you are a human being. Let’s not fall for stereotypes that make us goddesses. No, we are not. It is portrayed that we are pillars of the family, which means we have to do all the house chores. On this women’s day, let’s tell everyone, “We are not superwomen. So, please share the load.”

On this Women’s Day, we should tell ourselves that we should stop feeling guilty for not being able to make ‘delicious’ meals three times a day. There is no need to feel bad for not baking cakes on birthdays or doing zero-base pasta at home. Let’s not pretend that our children’s ascent to shining stars is not our sole responsibility.

Some years ago, when my elder daughter was in class seven, I went to pick her up from school. As I stood at the gate, I couldn’t help hearing conversations amongst mommies dedicated to their wards’ studies. “What is the answer to question 5(C) in chapter 7?” asked a mother, and others joined the conversation to discuss the answer.

I was beginning to feel dizzy. I thought I had failed as a mother. Years later, I realise that not knowing chapter seven’s answers did not hamper my daughter’s education or progress.

On this Women’s Day, let’s celebrate womanhood with no tags or labels. Let’s sit back, relax and enjoy.

We can also change some fairytales that we recite to our daughters. The story of Sleeping Beauty, where the prince kisses the unconscious princess because she is beautiful will be changed to waking her up and obtaining her consent before kissing her.

Women’s Day is ‘Observance day’, a time to thank our foremothers who made supreme sacrifices for the family and were shunned into the darkness of their kitchens. We have come a long way now, thanks to them.

Valluvar belonged to a period of male dominance and patriarchy through misogynistic strictures forced upon women. Valluvar also believed that the family’s happiness depended on women’s complete submission and purity.

But, like all true revolutionaries, he was ahead of society in acknowledging the role of women and hence dared to place women to be greater than men and declared that women are superior, especially if they are adorned with truthfulness.

Pennin Perundhakka Yaavula Karpennum

Thinmai Undaagap perin.

(What’s more significant than womanhood? Especially if it

Is adorned with the strength of integrity)

His usage of the term ‘karpu’ should be evaluated carefully. He did not confine the term to women being faithful to their husbands. The term expands to honesty and integrity. Of course, the question remains – why was such advice not given to men?

Audio production: Sahil Gupta

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