Blue Monday: How to give grumpiness the boot

the latest tech news, global tech news daily, tech news today, startups, usa tech, asia tech, china tech, eu tech, global tech, in-depth electronics reviews, 24h tech news, 24h tech news, top mobile apps, tech news daily, gaming hardware, big tech news, useful technology tips, expert interviews, reporting on the business of technology, venture capital funding, programing language

By Gavin Newsham

Not all men are grumpy… but a lot are feeling it right now. (Getty Images)

the latest tech news, global tech news daily, tech news today, startups, usa tech, asia tech, china tech, eu tech, global tech, in-depth electronics reviews, 24h tech news, 24h tech news, top mobile apps, tech news daily, gaming hardware, big tech news, useful technology tips, expert interviews, reporting on the business of technology, venture capital funding, programing language

Monday 17 January is so-called ‘Blue Monday’, a day said to be the most depressing of the year. For those who suffer from grumpiness, it’s fraught with even more difficulties.

Whether it’s an incident or an accident, a headache or a heartache, we are all prone to bad moods from time to time. But what happens when those moods become something altogether deeper and more prolonged? In other words, what happens when you become officially grumpy?

Global Tech News Daily

We asked Nick Wignall, a clinical psychologist, writer, teacher and podcaster not only what grumpiness is but also how you can spot it and, more importantly, how can you address it, especially if it’s becoming a dominant issue in your life.

“There’s no official consensus on what grumpiness is exactly, but the way I define it is that it's when you’re in a bad mood and you don’t know why,” he explains.

Global Tech News Daily

“Usually it has the characteristic of feeling bad emotionally in general but then also being vaguely irritated about the fact that you’re feeling bad, especially when other people point it out.”

Certainly, it’s something that the actor Martin Freeman has experienced. “I don't want to sound like a grumpy old man,” says the Sherlock star, “but nothing winds me up more than people saying 'Chill out' to me when I'm irritated!”

Freeman: Has experienced grumpiness. (Getty Images)

Wignall argues that grumpiness isn’t something that comes out of the blue, rather that there is always at least one good explanation for it happening. “If you’re consistently feeling grumpy, there’s a good chance there’s a consistent reason behind those feelings,” he says.

“And if I had to bet, the solution probably involves learning to communicate your wants and needs more assertively or learning to let go of unhelpful expectations.”

Grumpiness, or irritability, can be caused by a wide range of factors, from sleep deprivation to low blood sugar levels, from stress and anxiety or even an underlying medical condition like diabetes, for example. Hormonal changes as you age can also play a huge part in your mood and how you react in any given situation.

Watch: Grumpy cat pushes away owner's attempt to cuddle

Yes, the ‘grumpy old man’ really is a thing and it’s caused by the gradual decrease in a man’s testosterone levels that starts in their 30s. In men, the hormone also drives everything from energy to sex drive, fitness to confidence and when they’re affected so too are the way you conduct your personal relationships.

And when that happens, it’s inevitable that dissatisfaction or disappointment will lead to grumpiness. A steady decline in dopamine – the neurotransmitter that governs how we respond to pleasure – also makes grumpiness, as well as anxiety and depression, all the more likely.

It’s not you, it’s the low testosterone. (Getty Images)

Ageing, of course, also brings with it a greater likelihood of more medical conditions, some of which may be accompanied by pain or even chronic pain, which can leave you feeling listless, frustrated and irritable.

In his book The Happiness Curve, author and journalist Jonathan Rauch explains how happiness tends to be U-shaped with the lowest level of happiness coming in your 40s before bottoming out around 50 and then rising again as you head into middle-age and beyond.

But while older males are often perceived as the archetypal grump, it’s just as likely to occur in women as it is in men. The difference, says Wignall, is that women, as they are with most other medical concerns, are more predisposed to address it.

Read more: Blue Monday: Is it really the ‘most depressing day’ of the year?

“In my clinical practice, it is pretty evenly split between men and women,” he says. “If there was a difference, it’s that men and women experience it roughly as often but that women are probably more likely to acknowledge it and talk about.”

And that’s the key to giving grumpiness the boot, as Nick Wignall explains. “The first thing is to remember to always be validating of your grumpiness. If you start beating yourself up or judging yourself for feeling grumpy, that will only intensify or prolong it. If grumpiness is something that only happens occasionally, I think a bit of self-compassion is probably all you need,” he advises.

Yes, it affects women too. (Getty Images)

But what if that grumpiness and irritability isn’t just a passing thing? What if it starts happening a little too often for your liking or if others are starting to notice it? The key is to try and understand what's driving it in the first place. Typically, there are two overarching reasons that need to be tackled, the first being unmet needs.

Those beset by grumpiness, for example, might often find themselves putting others’ interests first and then feel disappointed when that action isn’t reciprocated. “A good first step to working through grumpiness issues would be to ask yourself: what are things you chronically wish you had more of but feel afraid to ask for or pursue?”, says Wignall.

“Or take the flip side of that: what are some things you wish you had less of in your life but are afraid to set boundaries on?

Read more: Blue Monday survey shows Brits are turning to 'hibernating', reorganising their homes and saving money to combat winter blues

“I’m setting boundaries as soon as I’ve finished vacuuming.” (Getty Images)

The second, meanwhile, is all those unexamined expectations we have. It’s not just a case of the frustration felt when your own expectations of yourself can’t be met because they’re too high or unrealistic, but it’s also what happens when others don’t quite meet your standards. The secret, says Nick Wignall, is to step back and think.

“Try listing five important people in your life before thinking about any recurring expectations you have of those people,” he says.

“For each one of those expectations, ask yourself these three questions: is that expectation still relevant? Is the expectation realistic? And is the expectation helpful? If one or more of those is not true, you probably want to do some work revising those expectation or drop them altogether.”

For more information, visit

Watch: Five reasons to be cheerful on Blue Monday

News Related


New York Rangers get another comeback win to force Game 7 vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

PITTSBURGH — How many times can the New York Rangers dig themselves into a hole and climb back out? At least one more, as of Friday night. The Blueshirts came ... Read more »

Wilson, balanced Aces cruise to 96-73 victory over Dream

COLLEGE PARK, Ga. (AP) — A’ja Wilson scored 15 points, Kelsey Plum had 14 points and 11 assists and the Las Vegas Aces rolled to a 96-73 victory over the ... Read more »

EXPLAINER: Why frustration lingers in Okinawa 50 years later

The Associated PressFILE – U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Mike Anglen of Turner, Ore., center, stands atop a cliff as Sgt. Bryan Wallace of Pikin, Ill., waits for his turn before ... Read more »

Astros beat Nationals 6-1 for 11th straight victory

WASHINGTON (AP) — Jose Altuve homered on the first pitch of the game, Yordan Alvarez and Yuli Gurriel also went deep and the Houston Astros extended their winning streak to ... Read more »

Kreider scores late, Rangers edge Pens 5-3 to force Game 7

PITTSBURGH (AP) — Chris Kreider’s long slap shot bounced over Louis Domingue and into the net with 1:28 left and the New York Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 5-3 on ... Read more »

Astros push winning streak to 11, roll past Nationals 6-1

WASHINGTON (AP) — Jose Altuve homered on the first pitch of the game, and Yordan Alvarez and Yuli Gurriel also went deep to help the Houston Astros extend their winning ... Read more »

Moustakas, Drury power Reds to 8-2 victory over Pirates

PITTSBURGH (AP) — Mike Moustakas homered twice and Brandon Drury drove in four runs to break out of a slump and lead the resurgent Cincinnati Reds to an 8-2 victory ... Read more »

Peterson's bases-loaded walk lifts Brewers over Marlins 2-1

MIAMI (AP) — Jace Peterson walked against Anthony Bender with the bases loaded in the ninth inning and the Milwaukee Brewers beat the Miami Marlins 2-1 Friday night. After starters ... Read more »

Padres: No cancer found during manager Bob Melvin's prostate surgery

SAN DIEGO (AP) — The San Diego Padres say no cancer was found when manager Bob Melvin had prostate surgery on Wednesday. Melvin, 60, was recovering at home Friday after ... Read more »

Ogunbowale, Gray help Wings rally past Mystics, 94-86

WASHINGTON (AP) — Arike Ogunbowale scored 27 points, Allisha Gray had 21 and the Dallas Wings overcame a 15-point second-quarter deficit to beat the Washington Mystics 94-86 on Friday night. ... Read more »

Resigning North Dakota senator led lawmakers in travel costs

The Associated PressFILE – North Dakota Sen. Ray Holmberg listens during a joint House and Senate Appropriations Committee meeting at the Capitol in Bismarck, N.D., on Jan. 7, 2009. Holmberg, ... Read more »

Residents in picturesque California county hit with gas prices topping $7 a gallon

A California county known for its spectacular mountains and proximity to Yosemite National Park has been paying the nation’s highest gas prices. Read more »

Boudreau to return as coach of Canucks next season

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (AP) — Bruce Boudreau will return as coach of the Vancouver Canucks next season after helping to turn the struggling NHL club around as a midyear replacement. ... Read more »

New Zealand leader Jacinda Ardern tests positive for COVID

On Location: May 13, 2022 Catch up on the developing stories making headlines.The Associated Press WELLINGTON, New Zealand — New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has tested positive for COVID-19 ... Read more »

Today in History for May 14th

Highlights of this day in history: Colonists go ashore in Virginia to set up Jamestown; Lewis and Clark begin to explore Louisiana Territory; Israel founded; Skylab launched; Movie producer George ... Read more »

Twitter CEO expects Elon Musk acquisition to close, addresses spending cuts

Musk is awaiting details supporting calculations that spam, fake accounts represent less than 5% of Twitter's users Read more »

Padres: No cancer found during Bob Melvin's prostate surgery

SAN DIEGO (AP) — The San Diego Padres say no cancer was found when manager Bob Melvin had prostate surgery on Wednesday. Melvin, 60, was recovering at home Friday after ... Read more »

Renovated NYC museum shows indigenous perspectives

The American Museum of Natural History in New York City recently finished a major renovation of its exhibition on the native peoples of the northwest coast of North America. Curators ... Read more »

Police release 911 calls in Gilgo Beach case

A woman who disappeared in a beach community on New York’s Long Island more than a decade ago, sparking an investigation into a possible serial killer, said “there’s somebody after ... Read more »

Academy Awards set 2023 Oscars for March 12

The Associated PressFILE – Oscar statue on the red carpet at the Oscars on Sunday, March 27, 2022, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. Next year’s Academy Awards will ... Read more »

Actor Fred Ward, of 'Tremors,' 'The Right Stuff' fame, dies

The Associated PressFILE – Fred Ward, a cast member in “30 Minutes or Less,” poses at the premiere of the film in Los Angeles on Aug. 8, 2011. Ward, a ... Read more »

Judge refuses to drop elections suit against Trump, media

NEW YORK — A Colorado judge on Friday denied motions to dismiss a defamation lawsuit filed by an election systems worker against former President Donald Trump’s campaign, two of its ... Read more »

Q&A: Becky G unveils every side of herself in latest album

The Associated PressFILE – Becky G appears at the Oscars in Los Angeles on March 27, 2022. Beck G’s latest album is “Esquemas.” (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong, File) NEW YORK ... Read more »

North Korea reports 21 new deaths as it battles COVID-19 outbreak

SEOUL, South Korea — North Korea reports 21 new deaths as it battles COVID-19 outbreak. Read more »

North Korea confirms 21 new deaths as it battles COVID-19

SEOUL, South Korea — North Korea says 21 people died and 174,440 people were newly found with fever symptoms on Friday alone as the country scrambles to slow the spread ... Read more »

White Sox place Giolito on COVID list, activate Vaughn

The Chicago White Sox placed ace Lucas Giolito on the COVID-19 injured list and activated outfielder Andrew Vaughn following a rehab assignment with Triple-A Charlotte on Friday. Giolito began experiencing ... Read more »

Traded back and forth, Ford learns to live out of suitcase

NEW YORK (AP) — Mike Ford has learned to travel light — and quickly. Since the start of the season, the 29-year-old first baseman has played for Tacoma, San Francisco ... Read more »

Falcon 9 rocket launches Starlink satellites

A SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket launched 53 Starlink satellites to low-Earth orbit from California on Friday. (May 13) Read more »

Celtics' Robert Williams remains out for Game 6 vs. Bucks

MILWAUKEE (AP) — Boston forward/center Robert Williams missed his third straight game with an injured left knee as the Celtics tried to keep their season alive Friday night in Game ... Read more »

Padres sign Robinson Canó, plan to use him off the bench

ATLANTA (AP) — The San Diego Padres have signed veteran second baseman Robinson Canó to a major league contract and plan to use him as a left-handed bat off the ... Read more »

WNBA star's Russia detention extended by 1 month

The lawyer for WNBA star Brittney Griner says her pre-trial detention in Russia has been extended by one month. Alexander Boykov told The Associated Press the relatively short extension indicated ... Read more »

Louisiana justices toss COVID-related charges against pastor

Hundreds of thousands of Americans fighting long-haul symptoms from COVID-19 Dr. David Putrino from Mount Sinai Health System and COVID long-hauler Joel Fram discuss the long-term effects of the disease.The ... Read more »

Sandy Hook lawsuits against Alex Jones on track to resume

The Associated PressFILE – This Tuesday, Dec. 11, 2018, photo shows radio show host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones at Capitol Hill in Washington. The Sandy Hook families’ lawsuits against ... Read more »

Rockies' Bryant closer to return after cortisone shot

DENVER (AP) — Colorado Rockies outfielder Kris Bryant took swings in the cage Friday for the first time since he was sidelined with a sore back nearly three weeks ago ... Read more »

Mariners demote Jarred Kelenic to minors after poor start

NEW YORK (AP) — Rather than make his Citi Field debut against the team that traded him, Jarred Kelenic was demoted to Triple-A Tacoma by the Seattle Mariners on Friday ... Read more »

Biden: ASEAN partnership 'critical' in this moment

Looking to strengthen ties, President Joe Biden welcomes leaders from the Association of Southeast Asian Nations to Washington for the first time. “We’re launching a new era in U.S.-ASEAN relations,” ... Read more »

Phil Mickelson will not defend his title at next week's PGA Championship

Phil Mickelson caught lightning in a bottle last year at Kiawah Island, winning a major championship at 50 years of age. The fairways flooded, and the golf world stood and ... Read more »

Tennessee Titans' Malik Willis on Ryan Tannehill's mentorship comments: 'Everything is cool'

The Tennessee Titans didn’t take issue with Ryan Tannehill’s comments about mentoring third-round rookie Malik Willis. Willis and coach Mike Vrabel were asked about Tannehill’s scrutinized remarks following the first ... Read more »

Lawyers plan suit against Lufthansa over Jewish passengers

Lawyers for 26 passengers said Friday they told Lufthansa that they will sue the German airline for refusing to let members of a large group of Orthodox Jewish passengers board ... Read more »

Wild face offseason after yet another early ouster

While the Minnesota Wild were stacking up franchise records and securing the extra home game for the first round, general manager Bill Guerin carefully acknowledged a “great year” for the ... Read more »