Journalist Debby Gerritsen takes a feminine look at current events and shares what strikes her every week.
How now after it The Voice of Holland-scandal? Well, that’s a good question. The logical reflex is to take a pragmatic attitude and look for solutions in laws and protocols. The John de Mol reflex, so to speak. And that is also necessary. But I think we must first dare to look the tiger in the eye. Because after all the #MeToo stories that have been told at the kitchen table, in the office and in the media in recent days, one thing is clear: little has changed since the #MeToo movement started in 2017. This is also apparent from the responses I received in my DM this week.
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After the broadcast of Angry I told my personal story at the table on various talk shows. Declaring on national television that you have been raped is no fun, but I do it for a good reason: I want to give women who have been through something similar the strength to speak up. Because if I dare, others may dare too. And that happened. I received an incredible amount of sweet, touching and sad messages from both women and men. But, as usual, I could also count on a different sound. A selection from the collection:
Bart’s response: ‘Hello Debby. Nowadays a man is no longer allowed to do anything. Probably won’t even look. But when it’s the middle of summer, girls are allowed to wear little or nothing, for example on the bike or at the bus stop’
See Bart here. The embodiment of a group of men who don’t have it easy either. Where they used to be able to go about their business undisturbed, nowadays nothing is allowed at all. And she doesn’t like that at all. Bart-like people are angry, confused and looking for something to hold on to in these uncertain times. ‘Can I still put an arm around my colleague’s shoulder?’ someone asked me desperately this week. I replied that he should not ask that question to me, but to the colleague in question. The questions about what is and is not allowed, the so-called ‘grey area’, amaze me time and again. Because, when was it okay to sit with someone uninvited? Precisely. Never.
Gerrit’s reaction: (photo)
About sending a dickpic I can be brief. Sexting is done with – and there it is again: mutual consent. Furthermore, a penis is a handy thing at regular intervals, but it is certainly not photogenic. With exceptions of course, but Gerrit is clearly not one of them. An unwanted dick pic is nasty and offensive. I sincerely wonder what goes on in the minds of types like Gerrit, Jeroen Rietbergen and all the other miscreants who unintentionally impose themselves on women. Is it so hard to hold back? Apparently so, because more than one in ten Dutch people (90 percent women) has experienced sexual (online) intimidation and violence. Just ask around and you’ll be amazed at the stories that come out when women feel safe enough to share what they’ve been through. It is insane to realize that part of the population is always aware of the potential danger of the other half.
Wietse’s response ‘Hey, it’s a pity that you suddenly turn against all the men. By impeachment, I mean designating all men as potential abusers and rapists.”
Of course not all men are molesters and rapists . But you have to agree with me that we apparently live in a society in which women can be harassed to a greater or lesser extent by men without their sexual misconduct being held accountable or punished. Women don’t feel safe for that reason, and I blame all of us for that. Because let’s face it, no human being is born with a special gene for sexual misconduct. This is learned behaviour, and we can therefore unlearn it.
S. de Boer: ‘Men versus women are the problem. I watch you on the broadcast and as a man I am seduced by your beauty. And I get sexual thoughts. At that moment I understood: we men look unequally at women. From a position of power and urge. This will take some time to resolve. Fortunately I now understand. Thank you. Also for your brave story.
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Statement: Little has changed since the #MeToo movement got underway in 2017
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A penis is a handy thing at times, but it is certainly not photogenic | show
Source link A penis is a handy thing at times, but it is certainly not photogenic | show
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