A Helping Hand: How High-Fives With Your Reflection Can Teach You Self-Compassion

A Helping Hand: How High-Fives With Your Reflection Can Teach You Self-Compassion

Changing your outlook on life doesn’t have to be complicated. It can start with a simple habit—one that steers you away from stress and toward optimism.

Mel Robbins has that habit for you, and she knows it might sound weird.

In her best-selling self-published second book, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage, Mel taught us to deal with crises by counting backwards from five. In her third book, The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit, she introduces a new tool: high-fiving our own reflections.

On a particularly difficult morning, Mel dragged herself out of bed, and when she saw herself in the mirror, she spontaneously gave herself a high-five.

“I felt this energy, like, ‘For God’s sake, pull it together and just get out there and deal with it,’” she says. “Get-your-head-back-in-the-game kind of energy.”

In this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Mel tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall why a high-five is such a powerful gesture of self-love, why it’s OK if it feels a little weird at first, and why we shouldn’t reserve self-care for the moment we finally achieve our goals.

Show up for yourself the same way you do for other people.

If a friend is having a hard time, we find it natural to give them a hug, tell them they have the skills and resilience to make it through, and offer them support along the way.

If we’re the one worrying about the future and stressed about the present, we find it much harder to locate the light at the end of the tunnel. If anything, we tend to blame ourselves, which only makes us feel worse about an already difficult situation.

The first step of Mel’s High 5 Habit is to look at yourself in the mirror. When you can see your own reflection, it’s easier to think about yourself as a separate person—someone you would support through a challenge.

Once you’re in front of the mirror, give yourself a high-five.

You’ve probably performed this gesture hundreds of times before. Your brain subconsciously knows what a high-five means: celebration, reassurance, teamwork, determination.

So when you give your reflection a high- five, your brain automatically gives you that little thrill you get when you do it with someone else. It tells you that you’re cheering on the person you’re high-fiving—in this case, yourself.

We know how to support others, and how to come together in moments of struggle and triumph. A high-five with your reflection reminds you that you are worthy of the same love and compassion you gladly show to the other people in your life.

Accepting your own high-five might feel strange.

Mel understands that this is a novel approach. The first time she impulsively gave her reflection a high-five, she burst out laughing because it felt so cheesy.

She says that’s one of two reactions people typically have to high-fiving their reflections for the first time. Another is crying. When people suddenly show themselves self-compassion after years of self-criticism, they realize how lacking this habit has been in their lives up to that point.

Facing yourself in the mirror can be an intimidating experience. Not because of the things you don’t like about your reflection, but because it makes you take stock of all the life experiences you’re carrying around. That includes sad things that have happened to you, and bad things you’ve done that you haven’t forgiven yourself for.

That’s why a high-five is such a perfect gesture for repairing that relationship with yourself. It’s lighthearted, but it also means something serious: We’re on the same team, and I’m going to be here for the struggles and the celebrations.

Given the surprising emotions that might come up, Mel recommends trying the High 5 Challenge for five days to begin with, so you can get used to the weirdness, and start to see the effects.

You don’t have to earn the right to self-care.

A mistake many people make when they’re thinking about setting goals is believing that that’s the way we earn self-respect and self-compassion. But the moment you achieve your dream is not the moment when you most need to feel that sense of belief in yourself.

It’s during the long and difficult journey to those goals that you most need to remind yourself that you believe in your own abilities. If you tie your right to self-care and self-love to achieving your goals, you’ll run out of steam to get to them.

By practicing the High 5 Habit, you can give yourself that boost of self-belief every day, including at the times when you’re furthest from reaching your targets, and most need a helping hand.

Believe that you can make it through this.

Everyone has moments in their lives when they just can’t see a way out of a bad situation. Instead of letting that feeling drag you under, try to understand that it’s preparing you for an opportunity that will come your way if you keep going.

Mel calls this anchoring into optimism: when you choose to see the most difficult times of your life as a lesson, rather than something that will trap you forever.

That’s not to say you aren’t allowed to feel sad and angry. It’s important to acknowledge and honor those emotions. But don’t let them become the overwhelming story of your life. Keep going, show yourself love and support, and find out what you were supposed to learn from this challenge.

Internet Explorer Channel Network
News Related

OTHER NEWS

Volkswagen AG (VWAGY) Outpaces Stock Market Gains: What You Should Know

Volkswagen AG (VWAGY) closed at $32 in the latest trading session, marking a +1.62% move from the prior day. This change outpaced the S&P 500’s 0.3% gain on the day. ... Read more »

Colony Bankcorp (CBAN) Beats Q3 Earnings and Revenue Estimates

Colony Bankcorp (CBAN) came out with quarterly earnings of $0.57 per share, beating the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $0.30 per share. This compares to earnings of $0.39 per share a ... Read more »

Bar Harbor Bankshares (BHB) Beats Q3 Earnings and Revenue Estimates

Bar Harbor Bankshares (BHB) came out with quarterly earnings of $0.73 per share, beating the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $0.63 per share. This compares to earnings of $0.61 per share ... Read more »

Sigma Labs, Inc. (SGLB) Reports Q3 Loss, Tops Revenue Estimates

Sigma Labs, Inc. (SGLB) came out with a quarterly loss of $0.24 per share versus the Zacks Consensus Estimate of a loss of $0.12. This compares to loss of $0.42 ... Read more »

Shell Oil (RDS.A) Stock Sinks As Market Gains: What You Should Know

Shell Oil (RDS.A) closed at $48.85 in the latest trading session, marking a -1.19% move from the prior day. This change lagged the S&P 500’s daily gain of 0.3%. – ... Read more »

SVB Financial (SIVB) Q3 Earnings and Revenues Beat Estimates

SVB Financial (SIVB) came out with quarterly earnings of $7.26 per share, beating the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $5.06 per share. This compares to earnings of $8.47 per share a ... Read more »

Twilio (TWLO) Outpaces Stock Market Gains: What You Should Know

In the latest trading session, Twilio (TWLO) closed at $369.23, marking a +0.72% move from the previous day. This move outpaced the S&P 500’s daily gain of 0.3%. – Zacks ... Read more »

Boston Beer (SAM) Q3 Earnings Lag Estimates

Boston Beer (SAM) came out with quarterly earnings of $2.97 per share, missing the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $4.04 per share. This compares to earnings of $6.10 per share a ... Read more »

Texas Instruments (TXN) Outpaces Stock Market Gains: What You Should Know

Texas Instruments (TXN) closed the most recent trading day at $201.29, moving +0.96% from the previous trading session. This change outpaced the S&P 500’s 0.3% gain on the day. – ... Read more »

Alpine Income (PINE) Q3 FFO and Revenues Surpass Estimates

Alpine Income (PINE) came out with quarterly funds from operations (FFO) of $0.37 per share, beating the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $0.35 per share. This compares to FFO of $0.35 ... Read more »

Want to Become a Millionaire? Follow Warren Buffett's 4 Rules.

How many entrepreneurs are as confident now as they were before the Covid-19 pandemic began? Yes, we know the majority of the S&P 500 are companies that began in down ... Read more »

Capstar Financial (CSTR) Surpasses Q3 Earnings and Revenue Estimates

Capstar Financial (CSTR) came out with quarterly earnings of $0.59 per share, beating the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $0.50 per share. This compares to earnings of $0.43 per share a ... Read more »

SL Green (SLG) Q3 FFO Surpasses, Revenues Miss Estimates

SL Green Realty Corp. SLG delivered third-quarter 2021 funds from operations (FFO) per share of $1.78, beating the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $1.58. Further, the reported figure compares favorably with ... Read more »

Bookingjini Raises $1.2 Mn From Mumbai Angels Network

Mumbai Angels Network, a startup investment platform for early-stage venture investments, announced to have invested $1.2 million out of a total investment of $3.3 million in Bookingjini, a hospitality SaaS ... Read more »

Crown Castle (CCI) Surpasses Q3 FFO and Revenue Estimates

Crown Castle International Corp.’s CCI third-quarter 2021 adjusted funds from operations (AFFO) per share of $1.77 surpassed the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $1.72. Moreover, the figure came in 13% higher ... Read more »

Having More than Once Source of Income Can Make You Rich. Here's How to Make it Happen

Did you know that really rich people rely on several sources of income — not just one?  Depositphotos.com contributor/Depositphotos.com – MarketBeat The reality is that a total of 54% of ... Read more »

Old Second Bancorp (OSBC) Q3 Earnings and Revenues Surpass Estimates

Old Second Bancorp (OSBC) came out with quarterly earnings of $0.29 per share, beating the Zacks Consensus Estimate of $0.28 per share. This compares to earnings of $0.34 per share ... Read more »

Edtech Startup Questt Raises $6.75 Mn In Series A Fund

Questt, an edtech startup, focused on improving learning outcomes by enabling predictive and adaptive learning, on Thursday announced that it has raised $6.75 million in Series A funds. The round ... Read more »

3 Transportation Stocks That Could Deliver Big Gains

As we head into earnings season again, one of the things investors are going to hear over and over again is how supply chain issues are impacting all different types ... Read more »

CSX Surpasses Q3 Earnings & Revenue Estimates, Shares Gain

CSX Corporation’s CSX third-quarter 2021 earnings of 43 cents per share surpassed the Zacks Consensus Estimate of 38 cents. The bottom line surged 34.4% year over year owing to higher ... Read more »

Risk-management Platform Rubix Data Sciences Raises Funding From Cactus Venture Partners

Cactus Venture Partners (CVP), a purpose-driven, early growth stage venture capital fund has announced pre-Series A investment in Rubix Data Sciences, technology and analytics-driven B2B risk management and monitoring platform, ... Read more »

Doyobi Raises $2.8 Mn Pre-Series A Led By Monk's Hill Ventures

Doyobi, a provider of STEM teaching resources and teacher professional development to schools through its virtual learning environment (VLE), recently announced it has closed a $2.8 million Pre-Series A round ... Read more »

ID Verification Company IDfy Raises INR 86 Cr From TransUnion And Blume Ventures

IDfy, a Mumbai-based ID verification and onboarding solutions company, on Thursday, announced to have raised an investment of INR 86 Crore in its Series D round of funding led by ... Read more »

Facebook To Get a New Name: Report

Amid intense scrutiny over its business practices, Facebook is planning to change the company name to reflect its focus on building the metaverse, reported The Verge.  Pexels Chief executive officer, ... Read more »

Twilio Expands Into Marketing With First New Product Born Of $3.2 Bn Acquisition Of Segment

From the patio of his house on a hill in San Francisco’s Noe Valley, Twilio chief executive officer Jeff Lawson gestures toward the massive Salesforce Tower that dominates the downtown ... Read more »

An Edtech Startup Taking Digital Entrepreneurship To New Heights

In a world where hardships exist at every point in life, dreams can feel like they are getting out of grasp. Every individual starts her path, keeping a goal as ... Read more »

The Influencer Marketing Industry Takes Its Next Evolutionary Leap

In New York City, the social scene is ingrained into the culture of the city. As a global destination for many professionals, New York attracts newcomers not just from a ... Read more »

Revenue-Based Financing: The New Kid On the Block

India’s startup ecosystem is evolving as we speak, with newer business models coming to fore every day. To match up to the pace of innovation, the business of venture funding ... Read more »

Former Virgin Galactic Test Pilot Heads to Blue Origin

Mark “Forger” Stucky was the lead test pilot for Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic for six years and piloted the first flight on the company’s SpaceShipTwo, which reached the edge of ... Read more »

7-Foot-Tall Harambe Gorilla Statue Stares Down Wall Street's Charging Bull Amid 10,000 Bananas

A 7-foot-tall bronze statue of Harambe the gorilla appeared opposite Wall Street‘s “Charging Bull” on Monday, garnering in-person crowds and leading many retail investors, who often refer to themselves as “apes,”  ... Read more »

Shipping Containers From Stranded Ships Abandoned in California Neighborhoods

Shipping containers stranded for weeks at sea are now reportedly being abandoned in California neighborhoods. Anaheim Street in Los Angeles has become one of the locations where an overflow of empty containers now line ... Read more »
On free-english-test.com you will find lots of free English exam practice materials to help you improve your English skills: grammar, listening, reading, writing, ielts, toeic