Method 1 of 10: Be tactfully honest.
- Instead of just replying with “No” or “No thanks,” try texting “It was so nice meeting you, but I’m just not really feeling a connection” or “i’m sorry, but tbh i just don’t think we’re compatible.”
Method 2 of 10: Get to the point.
- For instance, instead of starting off with “I think you’re a really nice person and I enjoyed the date a lot,” start off by texting, “Thanks for the date yesterday, but I didn’t really feel a connection.”
- If you want to be more direct, you could text, “No thanks, I’m not interested.”
- Compliments (like saying you had a great time or that they’re a great person) can help soothe the other person’s feelings, but try not to front-load them too heavily—you want to avoid giving off the impression that you might be interested in the date.
Method 3 of 10: Be clear and direct.
- For example, try not to text things like “I might be down!” or “Maybe some other time?”
- If you wouldn’t mind hanging out in a platonic sense, you could consider texting something like “I would love to hang out again, but as friends.” This can soften the blow without totally cutting off the connection—but be aware that this is riskier than just offering a plain rejection because it can still lead to incorrect expectations.
Method 4 of 10: Include a compliment.
- For instance, try texting, “I’m really flattered, but I’m not interested in you in that way” or “I had a wonderful time last night, but I’m looking for something else.”
Method 5 of 10: Explain that you’re busy.
- For instance, you could text, “I’m not interested in dating right now” or “I’m trying to focus on work” or “Sorry, I’m just really busy with school.”
- Be aware that telling the other person you’re busy is less strong of a no, and might lead them to keep up hope that you’ll be ready go on a date later.
Method 6 of 10: Highlight your differences.
- You could try texting, “I don’t think we have enough in common” or “I’m sorry, but I think we’re really different people” or “You’re super cool, but you’re not really my type.”
Method 7 of 10: Friendzone them nicely.
- For example, try texting, “Let’s hang out as friends instead!” or “I’d love to get to know you better as a friend.”
Method 8 of 10: Let them know you’re already attached.
Be honest if you’re in a relationship or seeing someone else. This is a straightforward response that makes it totally clear to the other person why you’re not available for a date.
- For instance, you could say in your text, “I’m talking to someone else right now” or “I’m sorry, but I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.”
Method 9 of 10: Use “I” statements.
Focus on your own rationale rather than bringing in the other person. This helps prevent the rejection from getting personal and lets them know that it’s not their fault, which can soothe the sting. Don’t blame the other person or point out their flaws; instead, emphasize your perspective.
- For instance, you could text, “I think you’re cool, but I’m looking for something else right now” or “I see you as a friend, I’m sorry.”
- Stay away from statements like “You might not be the best match for me.”
Method 10 of 10: Provide a timely response.
Being ghosted can be confusing and painful. You don’t have to respond instantly, but get back as soon as you can to prevent prolonging the situation—you shouldn’t leave the other person hanging or worse, on read. Though you might be scared to reject the date, ignoring or putting off the rejection can hurt the other person more. Handling it in a timely manner is kinder, more mature, and also saves both of you time.
- Try to also avoid texting things like “I’ll get back to you” or “Let me think about it” if you already know you’re going to reject them. This might create an unrealistic expectation that you’ll only shatter later.